Cangshan engagement customs
Proposal of marriage by a matchmaker is also called "matchmaking". After the marriage is proposed, the parents get to know each other. If they are interested, they will ask someone to check the birth dates of the boy and girl, and calculate based on the twelve zodiac signs and the five elements of "metal, wood, water, fire, and earth". If there is no conflict, they will choose an auspicious day to "make the marriage". , make a lifelong commitment. Men and women do not meet, it is all arranged by their parents. Young men and women have no choice but to "resign themselves to their fate", so there are sayings like "if you marry a chicken, follow the chicken, if you marry a dog, follow the dog" and "If you marry an official, you will be an official's wife, and if you marry a pig, you will
rubber the intestines".
Sending a letter is also called "engagement". After the two parties confirm the marriage, the man prepares the "engagement gift (clothing, jewelry, cash, etc.)" as a gift to the woman. The age of the man and woman, the names of their parents and the matchmaker must be written on the book, which is exchanged by both parties as the basis for the marriage. Also known as "Chuan Cambodia" and "Guo Hongzi".
Send the date. According to the horoscopes of both men and women, determine the wedding date and notify the woman. This is commonly known as "send the date". The bride's crown and hair, the orientation of sitting in the tent, getting on and off the sedan chair, and the attributes of the men and women seeing off the guests are all written on it. Both parties notify their relatives and friends respectively, and the relatives and friends give each other gifts of money and things. The man calls it "gift giving" and the woman calls it "filling the box".
Marriage is also called "taking a wife". A few days before the wedding, an auspicious day is chosen, and the man sends someone to the woman's house to deliver some wedding clothes, fish, meat, chicken and other items called "sending dowry" to indicate that the wedding date is approaching and the wedding must be done on time. The man was very lively, decorating the new house, posting couplets and "Double Happiness", and asking the chef to prepare wine and food. It is customary for the bride to get married as early as possible, usually with two male guests, also known as "seeing off guests"; and one female guest, also known as "salan watcher" or "car weigher", who is usually the bride's sister-in-law or sister. . The bride wears a wedding dress, a flower crown, and a "head-covering red" covering her head and face. After getting off the sedan, she is supported by two women who are supporting their wives. Sit in the entrance hall, worship heaven and earth, and enter the bridal chamber. Sprinkling chestnuts and dates means "early establishment of children". Those who were scattering chestnuts and jujubes said as they were scattering: "Throw the chestnuts first and then the dates. The older ones will lead the younger ones and run away." It is intended to have more children. After the groom steps on the bed, he has to eat eggs with a big mouthful. Narration: "Bite the eggs with a big mouthful, and live a good life." At night, the groom and the bride eat "pasta" and drink "wedding wine" together. Men and women from the neighborhood, old and young, enter the bridal chamber to "make trouble". The lights in the bridal chamber are kept on all night long, which is called "the ever-bright (life) light". Before the bride and groom get together, the groom's younger brother goes to the bridal chamber to deliver a "urinal". While delivering it, he says: "I am bringing a urinal to my brother and sister-in-law, and my sister-in-law has given birth to a nephew for me."
"After the bride and groom fall asleep, there are still people outside the room eavesdropping on what is going on inside, which is called "listening to the room"