What words are there in the root?
It is obvious that you have paved the way for your children. As long as he goes step by step, it will be a bright road. Why does he inevitably take a detour?
Either you are greedy, or you are in the wrong way, often the latter.
Why do you pave the way for your child, but he will still take a detour? You will understand after reading it.
The more comprehensive you plan, the less children will grow up.
There was a fisherman whose fishing skills were first-class, but his three sons were mediocre, far inferior to other sons. The fisherman is very confused.
So fishermen often complain to others:
"I began to teach them fishing techniques when they were sensible, starting with the most basic things, telling them how to weave a net that is the easiest to fish, how to row a boat without disturbing the fish, and how to get off the net for the easiest trap."
"When they grow up, I taught them how to know the tides and distinguish the seasons of fish ... I taught them all the experience I have worked so hard for so many years, and their fishing skills are still so poor."
A passerby listened to him and asked him, "Have you been teaching them by hand?"
The fisherman said, "Yes, I have taught them all the experience, but I am afraid that they will take more detours and teach them carefully."
Passers-by said, "Have they been following you?"
The fisherman said, "Yes, I'm just afraid they will feel worse, so I let them follow me all the time."
Passers-by said, "That mistake is obvious. You have been teaching them skills, but you forgot to give them lessons. "
This is the epitome of many families. I have planned everything for my children. I didn't expect the child to grow bigger. The reason is that I didn't let the children go by themselves.
Your 1000 words, 10 thousand words, are not as real as letting the child fall.
The lesson will make the child remember it more deeply than your bitter words.
Why do you pave the way for your child, but he will still take a detour? You will understand after reading it.
The child had to make a detour step by step.
I especially like what Tong Wenjie said in Little Joy:
Every step is indispensable for children to take detours.
Brilliant, Song Qian prepared several properties for Eiko, chose a good school, and cooked meals every day, but this situation continued, and Eiko almost got depression in the end.
In fact, parents can't really plan so well when children grow up. When you avoid a detour for your child, there will be another detour. Do you continue to choose to walk for your child or let go?
If you leave for your child, he hasn't learned his lesson yet, and he will be at a loss when he becomes independent.
Therefore, parents should understand that your so-called paving the way for children and taking fewer detours are killing their chances of gaining experience.
The flowers in the greenhouse will never stand the wind and rain, and the tenacious vitality of the grass lies in more experience. If children want to really grow up, they should be allowed to do it, regardless of success or failure.
Adam Grant, an American psychologist, said that small wins can help children regain their self-confidence. If a toddler stumbles over a small stone, encouraging Ta to "walk again" is the best way to regain confidence and help Ta get rid of hesitation when walking the same road again.
Parents should be concerned about the child's fall, but not too serious. A fallen child can "get up" and "walk again" is a complete growth.
A detour is not necessarily a bad thing.
Why do you pave the way for your child, but he will still take a detour? You will understand after reading it.
If you don't let go, your child will become a giant baby.
The news that the 48-year-old returnees were gnawing at the old last year is still fresh in my memory. After studying abroad for seven years, I have been gnawing at the old at home, relying on my mother's pension of more than 3 thousand yuan.
And the root of all this, the 82-year-old mother regretted her original practice:
"Blame yourself for improper education, everything is at the beginning. My son just studies and doesn't have to worry about anything else. You can't change your habit of reaching out from your clothes and eating from your mouth. Now my son sleeps during the day, plays games at night, and dumps in the corner. The room never cleans up. "
Why do you pave the way for your child, but he will still take a detour? You will understand after reading it.
Not only that, but also transferred the house to this son's name, so that even the younger son and daughter have opinions.
In the end, the road she paved for her son became his imprisonment, without any excitement.
Psychologist Sydney said: "A body can only carry one soul. If parental control is impeccable, then the child is actually mentally dead. "
When you let your child walk in your way, you actually regard him as a marionette. How can he have the ability to think freely and independently?
Too tired parents can't raise their children with light gait; Because your strength is overused on your child, he can't get room for growth.
Children's growth needs lessons.
I remember reading this story online:
A China father took his children on a trip to Germany. One day, at the seaside, he saw a German mother sitting on the sofa reading a book, but her children grabbed a handful of sand and stuffed it into their mouth.
When the father saw it, he stepped forward in a hurry and reminded the German mother, "Your child is going to eat sand."
However, my mother was at a loss. "So what?" She said that after he tasted it, he knew that the sand was not delicious, so he naturally stopped eating it.
Father was very surprised. If this were China, most parents would stop their children and tell them that the sand is not edible, or that the children themselves find it hard to swallow. The conclusion is the same, but the method of reaching this conclusion is different.
The former is the indirect experience provided by children after their parents' judgment; In the latter case, the child is a direct experience after personal experience.
Why do you pave the way for your child, but he will still take a detour? You will understand after reading it.
There is a theory that parents do 80% and children do 20%; Parents do 20% and children do 80%.
No matter how well you do, you get 90 points, which is just your score; No matter how bad the child does, even if he fails, it is good to have experience. Only after having experience did he know how to improve next time.
Sterile environment can only raise children with poor resistance; Sometimes a child walks too smoothly, preferring him to stumble, so that he can remember the lesson and walk more steadily.
We can never plan everything for a child, we can only help him build his own armor.