Please tell a ghost story first, then a joke, and finally a tragedy.
Old Chen Kai went to a jiaozi store. He was superstitious and closed at 12 o'clock every night. One night at 12 o'clock. A woman with white hair and white clothes, pale face, dull eyes and super-long teeth came to Mr. Chen and said, "Boss, a bowl of jiaozi." Lao Chen said, "No, I'm closed. Come back tomorrow." The woman said, "No, I'm hungry. I want to eat now." Mr. Chen was so scared that he quickly cooked a bowl of jiaozi and gave it to the woman. Lao Chen kept urging the woman and said, "Hurry up." Suddenly, the woman looked up with blood in her mouth and said to Mr. Chen, "Hum, hurry up, I bit my tongue!" " Tell a ghost story (in a word)
Shadow corpse
This is a true story that happened in Kaohsiung County.
There is a family engaged in aquaculture. When his father died, he hired a feng shui master and buried his father in a corner near his fishing cave.
after several years, life is as usual.
One year, as in previous years, the owner of the fisherman put the fry in the fisherman's hut next to his father's grave.
In the next few days, when feeding the feed, I saw fish swimming around in the water ...
However, in the fishing season, I fished out the net ... Oh, my God! There is not a fish in the fishing pond! Although the family felt a little strange, they didn't go deep into it. Then two or three years later, the same thing happened.
in the third year, even more strangely, people in the family began to die suddenly, one after another.
The family began to feel uneasy, so they called a Taoist priest to see the geomantic omen in the Yangzhai and Yinzhai. When the Taoist priest came to the fish cave, he asked if the fish cave was abnormal. The master told the Taoist priest in detail that the fish in the pool would disappear for no reason.
The Taoist priest nodded, ordered someone to get lime, and opened his father's grave. Unexpectedly, my father has been dead for so many years, and the body has not rotted. The Taoist priest immediately performed some ceremonies and cremated the body.
Afterwards, the Taoist told the owner of the fisherman that his father had become a "shadow corpse" by absorbing the essence of fish, which would be harmful to his family for a long time. Therefore, advise those who have the phenomenon of shadow corpse to deal with it as soon as possible! Who can tell a ghost story
Eat
There is a creature called pedophile, usually male, and now there is one sitting at the table.
A middle-aged man is a little fat, and he must be very smart according to the busy roadside grass does not grow. At least everyone will think that this man is smarter than the little girl licking ice cream beside him.
The man was very excited. He picked up this lovely little girl on the roadside, and some nasty thoughts began to shake before his eyes. The little girl didn't know it. She stared at her innocent eyes and waited for her good uncle to take her to dinner.
The man suggested eating Japanese food, but the little girl shook her head and firmly indicated that she would eat mala Tang. Mala Tang That place is usually crowded. The man thought for a moment, but looking at the little girl in front of him, there should be no danger. Will others be the father who takes his daughter to dinner?
The man took the little girl to eat mala Tang, and a table full of food was set before 15 yuan paid for it. The little girl showed amazing appetite and quickly eliminated two mala Tang, a bowl of hot and sour powder and a bowl of cold noodles. The man put his slightly displaced chin back, telling himself that children who are still growing can eat well, and he could eat six bowls of Zhajiang Noodles in one meal when he was a child.
Walking out of the snack bar, the man thinks it's time to take the little girl home. But before she reached the man's car, the little girl grabbed the man's skirt and stared at the barbecue stall not far away with eager eyes.
men say that eating too much will make you fat, but the little girl in front of me doesn't seem to know how to lose weight.
The man said that eating too much would make him sick, but the expression on the little girl in front of him showed that she felt that she would get sick if she was not allowed to eat barbecue now.
In the end, the man can only refuse firmly, but the little girl in front of him is ready to cry, which makes him surrender quickly.
half an hour later, the man paid the little girl 6 kebabs, 5 squid, 3 chicken wings, 1 chicken hearts, and ... 4 baked sesame cakes in the horrified eyes of other diners.
The little girl finally got on the bus honestly and played with the decorative dolls on the bus contentedly. The man started the car and began to feel that something was wrong with the little girl around him.
It's only 2 minutes from here to the man's house. After 6 minutes on the road, the little girl excitedly asked to stop and eat the cakes on the roadside. And said that as long as you eat five.
The man's face was covered with sweat, and he seemed to see another unknown thing trembling under the innocent and lovely skin of the little girl. He stopped the car and took the little girl to the pie filling stall. In the happy eyes of the little girl, he bought 1 pie filling. Then let the little girl sit on the next step to eat, and go back to the car without looking back, and slip away quickly. Behind him came the voice of the little girl greedily eating and filling cakes.
The man drove home, and when he walked out of the garage, he found a crying little girl squatting on the ground. Cute and younger than the little girl just now, and the man once saw her playing with her father in the park, so she should be lost. Although rabbits don't eat grass beside their nests, men don't intend to let the little girl leave his house alive at all.
He said he would help the little girl find her father, so the crying little girl obediently followed him back to her home on the fourth floor.
when he got home, he told the little girl to wash her face. While the little girl was washing her face in the bathroom, he stood on the balcony and lit a cigarette proudly. Suddenly, there was a delicate voice on the balcony of the neighbor who just moved in, excitedly calling, "Uncle."
His heart trembled, only to find that the little monster was standing on the balcony next door and waving to him at night. He was sweating all over, when another little girl came out of the bathroom and ran to his side, curiously looking at the girl on the opposite balcony and her trembling uncle.
The man grabbed the little girl around him, jumped back into the room, closed the balcony door firmly, and walked into the bedroom with the little girl in his arms.
The little girl on the balcony next door hung her head in disappointment. Why did the kind uncle ignore herself? If I hadn't met my uncle tonight, my parents would have been hungry when they found themselves by the pie filling stall. Does uncle think he has eaten too much? It doesn't matter. I was in the hospital before I couldn't find my parents today. The doctor said that this is a giant food disorder, which can be cured soon. Then go and play with your uncle and his little sister.
When the little girl left the balcony, it suddenly occurred to her that she had seen her uncle's little sister in a nearby park. She still remembers that at that time, that little sister was with another fat uncle, but that fat uncle was lying motionless on the ground, covered with red blood, and his legs were only white bones. She remembered the little sister gnawing at the fat uncle's arm and asking herself if she wanted to eat too. At that time, she could see a row of sharp teeth in the little sister's blood-red mouth. Why are the teeth of that little sister the same as mine tonight?
The little girl walked into the house with countless questions. I vaguely heard a man's frightened howl coming from my good uncle's house next door.
Behind her, my mother said in disgust, "What a nuisance, whose TV is so loud?"
Dad said, "It seems to be a horror movie ..." Can you tell a ghost story?
There was only one person left in the world. At this moment, he heard someone knocking at the door! Who can tell a ghost story in ten words
Where is my head? It was under the bed. . .
Sister ... This scholar's meat tastes terrible.
tell another joke!
An American, a Frenchman and a China were walking in the desert. When they walked, they saw a bottle. After opening the cork, a man came out. The man said, "I am a fairy, and I can satisfy three wishes for each of you!"
Americans are the first to say, "My first wish is to ask for a lot of money." The fairy said, "This is simple, it satisfies you! Tell me about the second wish. " The American said, "I want a lot of money!" " After the fairy fulfilled his wish, the American said his third wish: "Get me home." The fairy said, "No problem." So Americans returned to America with a lot of money.
The fairy asked the Frenchman again. The Frenchman said, "I want a beautiful woman!" " The fairy gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman said, "I want more beautiful women!" " The fairy also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman finally said, "Send me back to France." After the fairy sent the French back to China, she asked the China people what they wanted.
China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy gave it to him. Ask him what his second wish is. China people said, "Another bottle of Erguotou!" The fairy asked him what his third wish was. China people said, "I miss Chinese and Americans very much. Please get them all back."
The French and the Americans are extremely popular, but they are helpless, so they have to keep walking.
while walking, I saw a bottle again. After opening the stopper, another person appeared. The person said, "I am the younger brother of that fairy just now, and my magic is not as strong as his, so I can only satisfy two wishes of each of you."
The French and Americans think it's better to let the China speak first, so as not to be brought back by him later. So China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy fulfilled his wish. The French and Americans urged China people to express their second wish quickly. After drinking Erguotou, China people said to the immortal slowly, "All right, it's all right, go away." I tell a ghost story. Is anyone listening?
I tell a ghost story, too.
Back to back
In a school, there are two close friends who live in the same dormitory, one sleeping in the lower bunk and the other sleeping in the upper bunk. Usually, they all go out together and never separate.
During the summer vacation, they decided to stay at school for self-study. One day, the girl in the lower berth said to the girl in the upper berth, "I'm going out alone today and I'll be back soon. You study hard in the dormitory!" Say that finish and go out.
One minute passed. At 1 o'clock in the evening, the girl didn't come back. The girl in the upper berth was anxious and went out to look for it. She didn't return to the dormitory until 11: 3, but she didn't find a good friend! Just as she was in a hurry, the phone rang, and she hurried to answer it, only to hear a man's voice
"Good friends-back to back ... beep-"and ended the call.
"hello? Hello? Who are you? You know where she is? Hello ... "The girl was in a hurry. She looked at the clock, 12 o'clock!
The next day, the girl's good friend still didn't come back. She was always worried about whether her friend had an accident or was kidnapped by the man who called.
until 12 o'clock in the evening, the phone rang again, and the girl quickly picked up the phone, asking questions without waiting for the other person to speak: "Hello! Who are you? Is my friend there? "
"Good friends ~ ~ back-to-back ~ ~ ~ ~ DuDu ——" ended the call.
The girl feels creepy. Could it be someone else's prank? Or is a good friend scaring himself?
she thought about it all night and didn't sleep!
On the third day, the best friend never appeared, and the girls were almost desperate, so they could only wait until 12 o'clock in the evening for that call.
The * * * rang at 12 o'clock on time, and the girl hesitated. She desperately thought about the meaning of that sentence. Suddenly, she was zheng, stepped over to her good friend's bedside, stretched out her hand and pulled open the bed curtain. The girl saw her good friend's back-to-back book on the bed board, and the girl slept back-to-back with a corpse for two nights ...
The phone was still ringing ... telling a ghost joke < Once upon a time, there was a ghost, then he farted and died. Tell a terrible ghost story.
one evening. I went for a drink with my friends. On my way home, I passed by the cemetery. When I urinated, I felt a little strange next to me. I hurried to find my friends. I always felt gloomy behind me, which made me creepy. When I turned around, I saw a woman behind me. Because it was too dark to see clearly, I dared to go forward and see that the woman's tongue was 2 feet long, her hair was hanging freely, her eyes were bleeding, and her hands and feet were not shouting your name.,,,, Remember that if someone called you at night, please don't't. Don't copy, make it up
A man cheated on his wife, and his girlfriend committed suicide by jumping off a building. Then women become ghosts. A girl named Lingling went out alone at night, and the female ghost attached herself to her. "Lingling" gave a strange smile, licked her lips, walked forward step by step, deadpan and without eyes, and went to the man's door, knocking at the door again and again. She stabbed the man alive with her nails. Smile again, sneer at a few times. "Lingling" reached out her hands, put them around her neck and squeezed them hard. After 1 minute, her feet were stiff and her saliva kept flowing down, and then she fell to the ground. The female ghost got up from her body and became Lingling's appearance. She drove away. This scene was filmed by surveillance, but it shows that Lingling strangled herself, a skeleton came out of her body, got into a paper car and left ...