The story of homophonic jokes

There are many homophones in Chinese characters, which often lead to jokes in life. This article is a story about homophonic jokes that I collected for you. Welcome to refer to.

The story of homophonic jokes 1 1. The crab accidentally bumped into the loach when going out for a walk. The loach is very angry: "Are you blind?"

The crab is very wronged: "no, I am a crab!" " "

2. In the driving school theory class today, the teacher said, "Anyone who causes a serious traffic accident to escape is forbidden to drive for life."

A girl in the back raised her hand and said, "Then I will never get married?"

My girlfriend's name is Zhu Jing. I took my girlfriend back to my hometown in the countryside for the first time. As soon as I came in, I said, Mom, Zhu Jing is here.

Mother listened and said: The pig came in and just drove it out!

4. On his deathbed, Grandpa called his young and ignorant grandson to the bed and said with his last breath, "Son, it's good to be an official in this world!" The little grandson is an obedient child, and he firmly remembers grandpa's words before his death. Many years later, he finally became the best coffin manufacturer in the village.

5. A woman comes to a man's house to play. The woman teased the man and said, if you have a piece of land, I will marry you. Then the doorbell rang, and the courier brother said, sir, there is a courier for you!

In Chinese class, Xiao Ming didn't listen carefully when the teacher was talking about text analysis. Suddenly, the teacher asked, "Xiao Ming, you answer, 1 2. What does this article say?" Xiao Ming was stunned and said, "Did the article make a clean break that he broke up with Ma Yili?"

7. Niu Niu and Da Zhuang are playing downstairs. Niu Niu suggested: "Let's play the star!" "Yes, yes!" "You think I'm G.E.M.!" "ok!" In a moment of excitement, Da Zhuang pushed Niu Niu to the ground and rode up. Niu Niu was startled. She groaned and screamed: "Wang Dazhuang, your father, who the fuck told you to ride me as a stool!"

8. The bus I drove arrived at the station that day, and the passengers got off in a column. At the moment when the door was about to close, a lady shouted outside the door, "I'm going to die in your car!" " ''

I was so nervous that I immediately closed the car door and stepped on the accelerator, thinking, "There are so many strange people in the city. ''

Unexpectedly, the lady called a taxi to chase my bus and finally stopped.

When the car door opened, the lady shouted again, "Why didn't you stop? I will die in your car! ''

I asked her in fear, "Miss, what's bothering you? ''

He angrily walked to a seat, then picked up a bunch of keys and said to me; "I will die in your [key] car! ''

The story of homophonic joke 2 Li Dazhuang is afraid of his wife

Li Dazhuang, a famous scholar in Hebei Province, is very afraid of his wife. If he disobeys his wife's orders, she punishes him for sitting still, making his hair into the shape of a needle and thread plaque, putting a lamp bowl in it, and then lighting the lamp. Li Dazhuang's body did not dare to move or catch his breath, just like a dead wooden head or a clay doll. Friends who saw him punished joked with him and said, you are a lampstand at home.

One day, his wife suddenly fell ill and had to use crows as medicine. At that time, before the snow melted, it was difficult to catch crows with nets. Li Dazhuang didn't get a crow, and his wife was furious and wanted to hit him with a stick. Da Zhuang was afraid, so he stepped on the sand to lure crows with food, and only caught one.

A friend joked about him and said: saints regard phoenix as auspicious. You caught a crow and escaped your wife's beating. This crow seems to be Dark Phoenix.

feng shui

A man was dying, so his son nailed four big copper rings on the side of the coffin. When his son asked him why, he said, in the future, you have to listen to Mr. Feng Shui and move me around, so it will be much easier to move words.

The dog denies it.

Two people sit together. One of them didn't say anything, so he pretended nothing and covered his nose with his sleeve.

There happened to be a dog nearby, so the man said it was a dog who farted. Just then, the dog yawned, and the man said to the man, look, it still refuses to recognize it!

magnificent

There is a plum blossom painting with no inscription. Someone saw it and praised it very well. Someone asked him: Do you know who painted it? He said, Zhang Chang.

Send plaque

A man boasted that he would win the bid and said, I dreamed that a drum band was playing at night and sent a plaque to my house. One of his friends said, I also dream of sending a plaque to your home. The man asked: which four words? The friend replied: What a shame.

Spread the news with a smile.

When a new official takes office, a village head asks to give the new official 100 dogs; I bought ninety-nine, and one is missing. I couldn't buy it, so I sawed off the horn of a sheep and handed it to the dog.

Sheep are ruminants, chewing food constantly in their mouths. Seeing the sheep's mouth moving, the new official asked: Why does the dog's mouth keep moving? The captain replied that the dog was chewing maggots.

Laugh at a fool

Once upon a time, there was a thief who often had money to buy things. A fool envied him very much and once asked him: How could you steal? The thief replied: I am good at stealing for only one reason: whenever I steal other people's property, I will put a branch made of crows and magpies in my hand so that others can't see me. Fools believe what thieves say.

One day, he really went to the crow's nest, holding a branch in his hand, and then went to a family to steal property, and was caught and beaten. When being beaten, the fool also said: I was beaten down by you, and you couldn't see me.

New car

A boss bought a new car, but he was very uneasy about the driver he hired. He is worried that the driver will replace the parts of the new car with the old one to make a profit. He can't drive himself, so he has to ask the driver every move.

Once he went out by car, the car slowed down and got up soon.

"What's the matter?" The boss asked the driver.

"Nothing, sir, I just changed gears."

The boss turned to his friend next to him and whispered, "Look, he didn't even let me change gears. I must give him up. "

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