Homophony Chinese character jokes

When a certain school called roll call at the beginning of the semester, a class teacher came up with an original idea and said to the students: "I will read the student number. You can tell me your name so that everyone will know each other, okay?"

"No. 001" "Teacher, my surname is Jiao, and my name is Jiao Pei." The teacher was a little confused and asked: "Who gave you this?" "My dad" "What does your dad do?" "He opens a breeding pig factory. !”

“No. 002” A girl stood up and said, “Teacher, my surname is Zhang, and my name is Zhang Dekai.”

“No. 003,” “Teacher, I am Zhang Dekai’s twin. "Brother, my name is Zhang Bukai." "Who gave you this name?" "It's my dad. He sells pliers." The teacher quickly drank the water.

"No. 004" "Report to the teacher, my surname is Ou (the character is pronounced "oh") and my name is Ou Ye. This is the name my mother gave me. She said she happened to have a baby when she gave birth to me. I played a computer game." The teacher's heart felt a little uncomfortable.

"No. 005" "Tell the teacher, gan your mother" "Why are you swearing?" "No, teacher, I mean my surname is Gan, my name is Gan Ni Niang, and my father is a wine maker." "The teacher took a piece of medicine

"No. 006" "Teacher, my surname is Gou, and my name is Goubuli" "Your father runs a bun shop, right?" "Teacher, you are so smart!" "Teacher, my name is Gou." I'm a little unsteady on my feet.

"No. 007" "My surname is Kuai (quickly, three times) and my name is Kuai Huo" "Don't tell me your dad runs a warehouse" "Teacher, you are so old-fashioned, my dad It's a pimp." Blood oozed from the corners of the teacher's mouth.

"No. 008" "Teacher, go to hell" "What? What did you say!" "I mean my surname is Ni, and my name is Ni going to the temple. My mother is a Buddhist. Is the name interesting?" "Interesting, interesting." The teacher almost burst into tears.

"No. 009" "Teacher, I will tell you next time." "Why tell me next time, you tell me now." "No. Teacher, my surname is Xia, my name is Xia Huishuo, my father is Talking about storytelling." The teacher was already feeling dizzy.

"No. 010" "Teacher, my surname is Gao, and my name is Gao Wan." "My surname is Yin, and my name is Yin Jing." "My surname is Mei, and my name is Mei Liang." "My surname is Wu, and my name is Wu "Qing." "My surname is Mao, my name is Mao Rongrong."......

The teacher looked up to the sky and roared: "Oh my God, what kind of students did I encounter?" Blood spurted from the mouth. The earth is full of energy.

A county magistrate with a heavy accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! No pickles, pickles are too expensive!!"

(Translation: Comrades and villagers, please pay attention! Don’t talk, the meeting is now!!)

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: "Pick up the pickles, sausages and pickles!"

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(Translation: Let the township chief speak now!)

The township chief said: "Rabbits, the dog has eaten today's meal, everyone is a big bastard!"

(Translation: Comrades, today’s meal is enough, let’s all have big bowls!

If you don’t want pickled cucumbers, I’ll pick up dog poop and lick it for you...

(Translation: Don’t talk, let me tell you a story...)

Henan

Lao Dong is from Henan. He came to the south to have breakfast. As soon as he entered the door, he asked: "Miss, how much does it cost to sleep (dumplings) per night (bowl)?" The waiter was very unhappy and said: "No. Only steamed buns." The old man said: "Oh, touch (steamed buns) Steamed buns are also OK." The waiter was extremely angry and scolded: "Rogue!" Old Dong was extremely surprised: "Six cents? That's too cheap!"