My mother-in-law's stubbornness makes me breathless.
My mother-in-law is so opinionated that I can't breathe. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been the most important in marriage and family. If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very close, then the later marriage life will not be happy. How should the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be handled? The following is the information about my mother-in-law being too opinionated for your reference.
My mother-in-law is so opinionated that I can't breathe. In fact, before I walked in the door, she was in charge of all the big and small things at home. In fact, she takes good care of them. Maybe it's too well organized. My father-in-law and my husband are in charge of everything. Probably because of her pet, she needs to add or subtract clothes in hot weather and cold weather, and she doesn't know how to get them from the cupboard. I just said it was too hot. Give me a thin coat to wear, or a thick coat in cold weather. Of course not every time. In fact, my mother-in-law is also very thoughtful. Before they say anything, she will take out suitable clothes for them to wear. My father and husband are spoiled in this respect.
In fact, I came out to live in a university high school, and my self-care ability is not bad. Perhaps because of this habit, I can't stand people's dissatisfaction with my dress. I can match cold and hot by myself. My mother-in-law, out of kindness, was afraid that I would be told to wear more clothes. As for this, I can understand, but what she can't stand is those clothes that she thinks are beautiful, and I feel uncomfortable wearing them. She just agreed! Also, sometimes she wears whatever I want, and she insists that I wear what she thinks looks good. Including shoes, I feel that I have no freedom at all. Sometimes I can't stand or lose my temper, ignore her and wear whatever I want. To tell the truth, I don't know if this is right, and I can't say that my mother-in-law is wrong, but I think I'm right, too. Don't I have no idea of being a daughter-in-law, and I am at her mercy?
Besides, I went shopping. Once I went to the small commodity market with her to buy bedding. She actually pays great attention to the matching of rooms. I don't deny that she really has a good eye. The wedding rooms outside are mainly pink and yellow. When we got married, we already had two sets of pink bedding, but they were both thick. It was hot at that time, and my mother-in-law took the initiative to buy us a thin set of bedding. To tell the truth, my mother-in-law is considerate of everything, and sometimes I am moved. When we work, she helps us clean the room every day. I really want to thank her. As a result, my mother-in-law took a fancy to a set of all-pink bedding and asked my opinion. I told her that everything in the house was pink and I wanted to buy a set of bedding that was not all pink, but she said that our room would only look good if it was all pink. I thought to myself, since you have decided why you want to ask my advice, I was not angry with her at that time, so I kept silent and let her go. I don't want to be unhappy because of this little thing, and it's still in public. But my heart is still very uncomfortable and a little unconvinced. The reason is that she says everything and never listens to other people's opinions. In fact, her starting point is good, so I don't care about her for this. I've been married for almost three years now, and I've been laying all-powder bedding for three years. It's really visual ... hey I am speechless. ......
In fact, there are still some so-called trivial things that cause contradictions, not to say who is right or wrong. Actually, everyone is right. For example, the clothes worn by the baby, I gave her a small cotton-padded jacket when it was hot, and she added it back for fear that the baby would freeze. Every time we bring the baby out, people say that our baby wears so much, and it's not good for the baby. Look at the weather of more than 20 degrees now (probably in March), wear thick cotton-padded jacket, thin cotton-padded jacket and coat (tell us, do you wear much). Then my mother-in-law listened and took it off when she came back. Our family said nothing, but our neighbors would listen. Well, considering her good intentions, I really don't know what to say about her. I didn't say anything when I came back. ......
In fact, I really want to get rid of these two shortcomings for her, but every time we quarrel, everyone is angry and refuses to listen to anything. My mother-in-law and I are both cows, and we always argue about what we think is right. That's understandable, but I just can't stand her taking care of me too much. Our family had better listen to her and her boss. Even if she doesn't say anything, she will move out with a bad face, and my daughter-in-law will have to follow. Over time, she can't stand it. ......
Now the daughter-in-law listens to her mother-in-law? Presumably, some post-80s generations have encountered similar things, but my mother-in-law is the most difficult to make sense. Now I feel that I have no freedom and opinions in this family, and sometimes I feel breathless ... There is always a limit to forbearance!
My mother-in-law is so opinionated that I can't breathe.
1. No matter how unreasonable your mother-in-law is, don't quarrel with her.
Even if your mother-in-law is wrong again, it's your fault if you go to war with her. This is not asking you to be an ostrich. Although you are a woman in the new era, you can despise all stereotypes, but please don't forget that this is China, and this society still can't tolerate disobedient people. Although quarreling with her mother-in-law is not necessarily disobedient, in the eyes of others, being a younger daughter-in-law who spits on her old woman is disobedient! They will think that you have no tutor! If you say that you don't have a tutor, the target is not you alone, but your parents. Do you want to hear your parents being talked about for their own reasons?
The meaner your mother-in-law is to you, the more generous you are to her.
My mother-in-law's generation has gone through very difficult times, so there will be a miserliness of money that people in the 1970s and 1980s can't understand. She usually lives frugally, and hopes that her son and daughter-in-law will get what they want, especially for their daughter-in-law. If you buy something for your husband, she may not say anything, but if you buy it for yourself, she will say that you spend money indiscriminately, or that what you buy is too expensive. This kind of mother-in-law is really hateful, but the daughter-in-law doesn't have to wronged herself for it. She can buy whatever she should, spend as much as she should, and don't have to bear a grudge against her mother-in-law, thinking that you are abusing me, and see how I deal with you in the future. In fact, many mothers-in-law do this not only because they are distressed by money, but also because of psychological imbalance. Think about how much they have suffered before, and they can't bear to eat or wear. The whole province came down to give it to their children, and the effect was good. What contribution does the son's wife make to his son? Now I eat well, dress well and use it well ... Even if my daughter-in-law spends her own money, my mother-in-law will have the feeling of "planting trees by herself and enjoying the cool by herself". For such a mother-in-law, the best way is to buy a gift for her mother-in-law, even if it is a very cheap small object, which can block her mouth. Although her mother-in-law will still say that you don't have to spend money for her, you can save some money or something, but you will be very happy.
Don't speak ill of your mother-in-law in front of your husband.
We don't like mother-in-law to speak ill of herself in front of her husband. Similarly, as mother-in-law, we don't like the daughter-in-law gossiping in her son's ear.
Especially now, many men are very filial. Even if he knew that his mother-in-law was wrong, he would say, bear with it, that's his mother! Unfortunately, it seems that many daughters-in-law, including myself, have met such a gnashing husband! In this case, you can't achieve your goal by speaking ill of your mother-in-law, and it is more likely to make your husband feel disgusted with you. After all, you love your parents very much, and your husband speaks ill of them in front of you. Can you promise that you won't jump up? But that doesn't mean we have to swallow our pride. At this time, we need to use our wisdom. You can create an opportunity for your husband to see how her mother-in-law bullies you. If you can, you might as well shed tears of injustice in front of him and leave the rest to him. If your husband is still so insensitive, don't mention it. Double the anger your mother-in-law gave you and vent it on him! Such a husband would be too sorry for his filial piety if he didn't invite him to eat "sandwich cookies" and was full!
If you live with your mother-in-law, don't run back to your mother's house because you are angry.
When writing this article, I actually envy my sisters who have a home to go back to. Because the home is in the field, there is basically no home to go back to, but it also saves parents' worries. Although I sometimes run back to my parents' home in a wronged way, it's quite refreshing that my husband can come and take you home humbly. Maybe your parents won't scold him, maybe they will condemn him with their eyes at most, but have you thought about his feelings? If this happens many times, every man will get bored and decide not to get used to your problems in the future, and this trick will not work. Especially the daughter-in-law who lives with her mother-in-law, don't make such a move easily. If her mother-in-law throws you a word, don't come back out of this door! Or your husband wants to show authority and say this to you in front of her mother-in-law. Are you going to walk out of this house without hesitation, or are you going to put down your luggage and go back to your room and cry? Even if you can go through the door and finally come back, aren't you afraid that the first thing your mother-in-law said to her husband after going out was "divorce her"? When a man who lives with his mother encounters this situation, even if he really wants to keep you or take you home early, he usually slaps his face and pretends to be fat in order to prove to his mother that he is a man. Not only will he not leave you, but he will say something more rude, or he will not take you home at all. Will you divorce him or pack up and go home? If you really don't want to go there and divorce him, then say something else. If you don't want to give him up, you have to go home by yourself. Isn't that shameful?
Of course, every woman has the right to run away from home without being reasonable, but can you be a little creative and change the location to another place? Personally, I prefer high-end hotels, and then I called him and said I didn't want my parents to worry, so I came to the hotel ... and then I ordered myself a delicious meal and waited for him to pick you up, hehe! I bet that 90% of men will run to the hotel after receiving this call. After all, it costs hundreds of thousands every day! Few husbands or mothers-in-law are not distressed. Maybe other 10% husbands don't care if they have money! Then run away, such as Hong Kong, Paris, Hawaii, etc ..., so that running away from home once is enough to impress him, and see if he dares to provoke you next time?
Don't speak ill of your mother-in-law in front of outsiders.
Maybe someone will scold me. Are you kidding? Being angry with my mother-in-law, I can't tell my husband, nor can I tell outsiders. Is there justice? Yes, it seems difficult to do this. Look at the blood and tears of the sisters in the forum and you will know how many bitter tears there are in the world as a daughter-in-law! And when friends get together at ordinary times, it seems that the evil mother-in-law at home is the one who talks the most! China's daughter-in-law is bitter! But outsiders here are specific, that is, people who know both themselves and their mother-in-law can complain on the forum, but if you speak ill of your mother-in-law in front of these people, aren't you afraid that your words will be embellished and passed on to her mother-in-law one day? It's true that we should not wash our dirty linen in public, but it's more important not to be looked down upon as Sister Xianglin. Even if you know that your mother-in-law speaks ill of you in front of outsiders, don't answer blows with blows, an eye for an eye. What's the difference between you and your mother-in-law with a long tongue? A clever daughter-in-law will do this: my mother-in-law says that I am not good in front of people, and I will say that she is good in front of people! Don't worry about being accused by your mother-in-law. Please be sure to believe this sentence: "justice is free from people's hearts." Your mother-in-law criticized you in every way, but you returned good for evil. Isn't it clear at a glance what is right and wrong? Wait until those people return your words to your mother-in-law's ear and see if she is ashamed to death!
6. Don't exaggerate your grievances in your husband's family.
There is no denying that every daughter-in-law will be wronged more or less in her husband's family, perhaps because of the other party's unintentional mistakes or intentional actions. Many daughters-in-law themselves can't resolve this resentment, so they will think about it and feel that they have been greatly wronged, and in the process, they will infinitely magnify each other's mistakes and lose sight of their responsibilities in the incident.
This may be because many daughters-in-law are isolated in their in-laws and have an instinctive sense of defense, so they are too sensitive to events related to themselves. Another situation is that some daughters-in-law have a delusion of persecution and always feel that the other party is up to no good. She is like smart, beautiful and kind Snow White, and her mother-in-law is a vicious queen. She won't stop until she kills herself, so she feels sorry for herself. A woman is a delicate animal, but sometimes this delicate feeling is "narrow-minded" in the eyes of her husband's family. I also think that some trivial things at home are not worth making a fuss about. The careless daughter-in-law thing has disappeared before, and the relationship with in-laws may be the most harmonious. As long as the in-laws don't attack or insult themselves personally, a clever daughter-in-law can pretend not to understand or laugh it off. So, sometimes you might as well be a smart silly elder sister, which may make you happier.
7. Be sure to find a suitable opportunity to show the essence of your tigress in front of your mother-in-law.
Everyone has a bad habit of bullying and being afraid of hard work, especially many mother-in-law now. The more docile you are in front of her, the more she thinks you are a soft persimmon that can be pinched at will. Of course, you can't quarrel with her, but this doesn't necessarily mean that you can't quarrel with others, but this person had better not choose your husband or anyone who is related to her. Give him a good scolding if you have the chance to catch the unlucky guy! Even if it is unreasonable to insist, at this time, you should show the worst and most vicious side of your personality incisively and vividly. Don't be afraid to carry the notoriety of a bitch, a bitch will splash women! As long as your mother-in-law can see, we are not without temper. We don't lose our temper with her not because we are afraid of her, but because we respect her as an elder! Take this as a warning to her: the tiger doesn't show off, don't treat me like a sick cat!