Find a joke, hahaha
2. In the past, the school said that it was necessary to have a physical examination, and the stool was used as a laboratory product, and then everyone took some ~ and then, an alumnus put it in Chow Tai Fook's bag and box. Then I walked halfway ~ I was robbed by a motorcycle driver. ...
3. A girlfriend has small breasts, so we bury her every day. One day, she finally couldn't bear it anymore and shouted at us, "What about my small breasts? I will follow my dad! "
4. I took my family to swim on the beach in Jinshan today, mainly to play with the children in the sand. In the process of piling sand, the lifeguard (commander) on the distant high platform shouted with a megaphone: Parents with children should pay attention, please take good care of their children, especially those with their own children and other people's wives, please don't leave them aside, I can see that!
In other words, I have a female colleague named Li Rui and a male colleague named Li. ...
6. In winter, I eat hot pot with my classmates. After eating, I'll come out first and wait for the students behind me. I picked my teeth according to the black glass of an off-road vehicle, then put on lip balm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ After finishing my hair, the window rolled down and a group of people looked at me in the car. A macho face is close to me. We are driving!
7. When I first went to college, because our place was chaotic, some friends in the dormitory went to the market to buy a knife and put it in the dormitory for self-defense. When I walked back after buying, I passed by a bank, just in time for others to put boxes of money on the cash truck after work. We didn't want the escort to misunderstand, so we asked a friend to hide the knife in his clothes. As a result, when I came to the escort with a gun, the boy was so nervous that the knife fell to the ground. Later, we left silently, afraid to pick a knife. . .
Triboelectricity, a middle school physics teacher, said: We take off our sweaters in winter. The sweater creaked. And lightning. But not in summer. Why? Boy in the back: Because I don't wear sweaters in summer.
9. My friend was drunk once. According to civilized language, he was in the toilet, holding the phone in his right hand and pressing his left hand in the mirror, looking at the "prisoner" in the mirror affectionately: Did you eat well? Has the prison been strictly controlled recently? Leave as soon as possible ...
10, my parents are not at home tonight, so I have to cook for myself. After pouring the oil into the pot, I heard the phone ringing in the bedroom, ran back to the bedroom with my mobile phone, and walked to the kitchen while talking on the phone. When I got to the kitchen, I saw the oil boiling and spilled everywhere. I threw my mobile phone in the pot when I got excited. . . . . .
1 1. Some buses in Hangzhou are relatively high-end, so the glass is rather stuffy. It says: break the glass in an emergency. The temperature has risen these days, and the bus is hot, and there are many people on the bus. The most depressing thing is not knowing that the immoral guy put a silent fart in the car. . . Later, the glass broke. . .
12, one night, when my parents came back from playing mahjong, I woke up when they entered the room, but I was still confused. Suddenly my leg cramps died (I think it is very long), and then I jumped out of bed. At that time, my consciousness was very vague, and I just wanted to take two steps to suppress the feeling of cramp. As a result, I took two steps and felt that I could not persist any longer. I plopped down on my knees in front of my father and gave him a fright. Kneeling down, I felt no cramps, then stood up silently and turned back to my room to sleep. There was not a word in the whole process. I guess my father was petrified at that time.
13, on July 22nd, 2009, I met a buddy on a BBS and said, "TMD, it turned out that the solar eclipse was in the daytime, which made me wait all night!"
14, the last time I watched a CCTV program, I can't remember the name, but I remember that at the beginning, a reporter asked someone at the train station, "Are you happy?" Ask everyone, some people say happiness, some people say unhappiness, and then ask a farmer ... reporter: "Are you happy?" The farmer looked at the reporter several times and said innocently, "My name is Wang."
15, I performed a drama at school. Before my monologue appeared, I noticed some girls changing clothes backstage-so I got **high. This play is Superstar of Jesus Christ, and I play Jesus. I only wear a few pieces of cloth. As a result, all the audience saw that Jesus was shamefully hard when he was crucified.
16, punching in the bus usually sounds like "beep", and some students' cards sound like "beep, student card" ... One of our classmates, a woman, rushed to take the bus, but she didn't have any money, and the bus came in a hurry ... She queued up with others to get on the bus as usual, and took the school student card to the machine to shake it when punching in. .....
17, the head teacher in junior high school likes to pick his nose. Once in self-study, the teacher came in to see if our homework was done well. After a visit, he became interested in my neighbor's homework. While sticking out his head to watch him do his homework, he didn't forget to pick his nose with his hand, only to hear a bang. The teacher's booger actually fell on the neighbor's exercise book! At this time, the teacher should also be embarrassed to stand there and not know what to say. At this time, something terrible happened: I saw my neighbor slowly raise his head, look at the teacher and say, thank you, Long En!
18, computer examination, first in the preparation area, and then through a big glass door into the examination area. After I finished the exam, I touched the door for a long time, but I couldn't touch the glass. The kind teacher next to me reminded me: "classmate, the door is open."
Ten funny jokes on campus
1, once, my classmate asked me which department of the hospital my other classmate lived in. I can't remember clearly. I feel like internal medicine and acupuncture. As a result, I said she was a "guilt department".
2. A boy saw his uncle: "Buy him two dishes!" Uncle: "This kid is so boastful that even people can't talk!" " "
When I joined the league at school, it was just me and another girl (the horrible one). When the secretary of our League branch presided over the meeting, he said without hesitation, "Today is a big day for two students …" The rest of the students laughed their heads off.
4. A shy male classmate went to the canteen to have breakfast. The host in the window asked him, "What do you want?" He lowered his head and said, "I want … I want … a steamed stuffed bun, a steamed stuffed bun." The master stared at him for a long time and asked, "What do you want? Say it again! " "I want a steamed stuffed bun, a steamed stuffed bun ... oh. Don't! A steamed bun, a loaf of bread! "
When I was in college, a classmate argued with me and was at a disadvantage. In desperation, I got up and shouted, "You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid!" "
6. Once my sister introduced me to a piece of music. She said it was called "girl pants". I'm surprised. I picked up the CD and saw that it was a girl's prayer. ...
Before the open class, the primary school teacher "soothed" our nervous mood and said, "Don't be nervous. When you enter the classroom, don't look around. Not everyone is sitting under the stage. They all have two noses and one eye! "
8. In English class, the teacher said, "Good morning, teacher!" Student: "Good morning, student!" "
9. A classmate called a friend's house and his grandfather answered it. This classmate doesn't know what he is thinking. He just said, "Grandpa, I'm grandma ..." Suddenly he felt something was wrong and hung up with a bang. ...
10, my sister and I played at home when I was a child. Pretending to be a chivalrous woman, she pricked up her ears and listened to what was going on outside, and then said to me warily, "Hey, it's not a big head!" "