Funny jokes
1. You should endure more hardships when you are young, so that you will get used to hardships when you are old.
2. The three most uncomfortable things in college are: watching top students show off their grades, watching couples show off their affection, and watching rich people showing off their wealth. The three most uncomfortable things are: watching top students show off their affection. , watch wealthy people show off their achievements, watch couples show off their wealth.
3. The most unfaithful thing in the world is money. If we agree to go out together, then it won’t come back with me; the most loyal thing is meat, and you can’t get rid of it no matter how you do it!
4. When I got home, my wife said softly: "We are back, are you tired?" Me: "A little tired." She asked again: "Are you hungry?" Me: "I'm starving! "The wife said gently: "Then take a break and hurry up to cook!"
5. Three magic weapons for establishing friendship between women: compliment each other's clothes; share hot gossip; and agree on a certain man. Very scummy.
6. I always thought that I could buy everything if I had money, but after more experience, I gradually realized that I didn’t have enough money!
7. I didn’t like eating when I was a child, which made me short now; now I like eating, which makes me fat and short. I hugged my fat self sadly.
8. I had an argument with my girlfriend today, and she sprayed saliva all over my face, so I touched her out of habit! Girlfriend: Do you dislike me? Me: No, I just want to rub it evenly.
9. When I was a child, I compared my grades. When I grew up, I compared my salary. Now I even compare the number of steps while walking. Please let me go, I just want to be a garbage that is indifferent to the world, but when I actually became a garbage, I found out that I even have to sort the garbage!
10. In fact, ancient people were quite optimistic. They spent all their free time thinking about how to live forever. Modern people calm down and collapse on the bed after a busy day, with only four words in their hearts: they don’t want to live anymore.
11. Ever since my parents learned to use WeChat. I stopped being pretentious, I stopped being sentimental, I stopped showing affection, I stopped wearing revealing clothes to take photos, and my whole person was full of positive energy.
12. When you quarrel with your boyfriend, don’t rush to blame him. Instead, you should reflect on yourself first. If you are really wrong, then think about how to blame it on him.
13. When you are in a relationship, you should give way to your boyfriend in everything, let him cook, let him wash dishes, let him wash clothes, let him make money.
14. Stop complaining that you can’t find the right person among 1.4 billion people. You can’t even find the right person for the four options in the exam, let alone 1.4 billion options!
15. Sometimes, when I say "I'm fine," I actually just hope someone can see through my eyes, hug me tightly and say, "I know you're not fine," and then take out A wad of big bills was stuffed into my arms.
16. The son was caught playing games by his mother. Mom was very angry. Mom: "If you don't work hard, you will be as useless as your dad. You will find a bad job and not be able to marry a good wife." Dad: "After so many years, you finally admit it."
17 , My dad drank too much at night, so he was helped home by some uncles and put my dad on the sofa. The uncles were about to leave, so I sent him off. After sending it off, as soon as I came back and closed the door, my dad slapped me hard: I came back so late!
18. After growing up, I have mastered a special skill without learning anything else. I can sleep without sleeping pills during the day, and I can be excited without stimulants at night.
19. Recently, people are always humiliating me and saying: Why are you so thin? Don’t you have some bad money? Isn’t it great to have a good partner? Oh, this really pisses me off!
20. If marriage is the tomb of love, then going on a blind date is looking at the feng shui of the tomb, confessing is digging one's own grave, getting married is both sacrificing love, falling in love is moving the tomb, and the third party is tomb robbing.