Mom yells at her daughter: "Go to hell!": Parents talking well is the best Feng Shui for children to grow up

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I just saw a very sad video. My daughter was lying on the sofa and wanted to sleep, but her mother asked her to explain who she was playing with when she came back so late. I don’t want to say it, but my mother was so angry that she threw a pillow at it and said, "Get out of here!"

When her daughter really opened the door and wanted to leave, her father asked her to take away all her things and throw them away, and she screamed He said: "Cut off all relations with me!" The daughter was so angry that she yelled: "Why?"

The family of three was in a quarrel, and the mother continued to add fuel to the fire and said: "Go to hell!" !" The daughter immediately said, "Okay, I'll die! Why did you give birth to me?" The daughter's emotions were extremely broken, and the parents continued to talk. After irritating her, the parents each slapped their daughter in the mouth, and the father shouted: "I was wrong, but I was also right!"

The father even said, if I had known you were so unsatisfactory, you would have been born. I'll strangle you to death! Every sentence stabbed her daughter in the heart, and her broken daughter actually ran out and jumped into the river.

The father who came later immediately pulled his daughter up, but the physical, especially psychological damage caused by parents to their children is difficult to heal in a short time.

Even if the child has done something wrong, why can't the parents speak properly and use extreme words like cursing the child to die and saying that he regrets having a child to stimulate him?

You must know that children will take everything their parents say seriously. They will not think that their parents are sarcastic, but that they truly dislike them, which may lead to tragedy.

Ginot, a doctor of psychology, said in "Child, Give Me Your Hand" that words are like knives, they can bring pain, even if not physical pain, emotionally. Leaving many painful scars.

Parents who are their children's favorite people, but use the most hurtful words to hurt their children will really make the children hate the world and their parents, making the child's growth more difficult.

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If parents don’t speak well, the consequences will be serious.

In "Little Joy" that I am currently watching, Tong Wenjie, the mother of the naughty boy Fang Yifan, scolds her son without mercy. When her son makes a mistake at school, she is invited to school to criticize her by the teacher. educate.

Tong Wenjie was so angry that she complained to her husband: "He is not my son, he is my ancestor. When I get up early tomorrow morning, I will burn incense sticks for him!" Fang Yifan's face immediately became very lonely.

No child wants to be scolded by his parents like this. No wonder Fang Yifan's grades have always been at the bottom and have not improved. This has a lot to do with Tong Wenjie's way of speaking.

If parents keep talking to their children in this way, it may have more serious consequences. The blogger "Still a Bowl of Instant Noodles" told a story about an old artist, which is particularly warning.

The old artist had particularly strict requirements for his only daughter. Later, when her daughter got a PhD from an Ivy League, she went to the United States to see her daughter. I don’t know why she blamed her daughter again.

Her daughter asked her: "Am I never able to satisfy you?" She replied: "Do you think you have done a good job?" When her daughter heard this, she turned over and jumped off the balcony. Not rescued.

Susan Forward said in "Family of Origin" that insulting names, derogatory comments and contemptuous accusations will send very bad self-evaluation messages to children and have a negative impact on their future. has a huge negative impact on your happiness.

Many parents think that the way they speak is because they want their children to know how to make progress and work hard. In fact, the effect is counterproductive. It will only make the children doubt and deny themselves more, making it easier for them to make mistakes.

Don’t talk to your children the way adults do. If your parents don’t talk properly, your children will be hurt in the end.

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Different ways of speaking have very different effects.

In "Little Joy", the single mother Song Qian has very high learning requirements for her daughter Qiao Yingzi. In the exam for the credit-bearing class for the third year of high school, Yingzi achieved the second best result in her grade.

But Yingzi, who has been ranked first all year round, knew that her mother was not satisfied with the results, so when she went home she did not dare to say that she came in second place, and only told her mother that she had entered the fast class.

Song Qian said a little unhappy, I know you got second place in the exam this time, it’s okay. Qiao Yingzi quickly explained that the first place was taken away by Lin Lei'er, who had just transferred to another school.

However, when Song Qian saw the Lego toys given by her classmates in Yingzi’s schoolbag, Song Qian finally couldn’t stand it any longer and said angrily: “I got second place in the exam, what else is there to be happy about? ?"

After a series of accusations, Song Qian even confiscated the toys, which put even more pressure on Yingzi, which led to her rebellious behavior of skipping class and playing Lego at her father Qiao Weidong's house.

It was precisely because of Song Qian’s overly strong speaking style that pushed Yingzi into a state of being tired of studying. As a result, her midterm exam score dropped directly to the top 20s. Yingzi was about to collapse at that time. I don’t know how her mother will deal with her. < /p>

Song Qian's eyes were red. While wiping Yingzi's tears, she analyzed the reasons for her poor performance in the exam. She also took the initiative to take responsibility and said: "Mom must have done something wrong. Mom should not have hit you that day." "

This time Song Qian did not sarcastically mock Yingzi. Instead, she encouraged Yingzi and said that she had a good academic foundation and would work hard with her to catch up with her grades. Yingzi was so moved that she couldn't stop crying.

American psychologist Marshall Luxemburg said that when language tends to ignore people's feelings and needs, resulting in alienation and harm to each other, this method of communication will make it difficult for people to appreciate the love in their hearts.

The different ways parents talk to their children will have completely different effects on the children. In fact, parents who can talk to their children well are the best Feng Shui for children to grow up.

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Parents should communicate positively with their children.

Psychologist William James said that the deepest desire in human nature is to have the appreciation of others.

In the process of communication with their children, parents need to respect their children's independent personality and talk to their children in a positive attitude, so as to help their children build strong self-confidence.

Try to say as little as possible, just the main points.

Li Meijin, a professor at the Public Security University, talked about the topic of communication between parents and children. Before the age of 6, parents’ words and nagging are gold. After the age of 12, parents’ words are garbage.

Although this is very straightforward, it is a fact. As children grow up, they will become less and less willing to listen to what their parents say. If parents blindly talk to their children in accusatory words, the children will inevitably Rebellion.

For example, Professor Li Meijin said that if a child makes a mistake at school, parents can say a few words about what they should do and then end it. Even if the child does not say anything at the time, he or she will think about what the parents said. .

Parents must not talk nonsense over and over again, let alone attack their children personally. When parents speak as few words as possible and speak every word to their children's hearts, their children will be happy to obey.

Give priority to encouragement and seek truth from facts when criticizing.

Child education expert Dorothy Knott said in "What Children Learn from Life" that children who grow up with encouragement are deeply confident.

"With your grades, you are not worthy of carrying other people's shoes!" "Look at what a loser you are, you will be a thief when you grow up!" This is what many children may have heard most since childhood. Just all kinds of derogatory words from parents.

If you translate these two sentences into words of encouragement, you should say:

"There is still a lot of room for improvement in your grades. Mom believes that as long as you work hard enough, your grades will improve." I'll catch up!"

"Keep your head up and your chest up, look how confident you are! Remember to stand like a bell and sit like a pine tree, you will be much more handsome than shrugging your shoulders and slouching your chest!"

Which statement do you think children are more willing to listen to from their parents? It is definitely the second type, especially when criticizing a child for something they have not done well, it is far easier to speak with encouragement than to criticize and accuse.

Parents, please start talking to your children with a sincere attitude, a kind tone, and positive words from today. You will gain a more confident and brighter child!