The winning thinking of the algorithm of life
Now I am sitting quietly at the table, typing on the keyboard, and writing the last article in the series of articles on the algorithm of life during this National Day holiday, "The Algorithm of Life: The Winning Thinking". In this series of articles on life algorithms, we start with time cost thinking and talk about various life algorithms. Click on the link at the end of the article to view the previous 6 life algorithm articles. Everyone's life algorithm is definitely different, and we have different ideas about life. The reason why I put ***win thinking on this last National Day holiday is that ***win thinking should be This is the mindset we should uphold in our work and life. Learning to win-win thinking can help us learn how to live in more harmony with the world and achieve common progress.
When I came up with the name, I originally wanted to think about win-win thinking, but looking back, thinking about win-win thinking is still too limited, and it should be changed to win-win thinking. Win-win thinking is about facing a choice. The choice we make must not only benefit me, but also benefit you. The choice we make is beneficial to both of us. Win-win thinking is an extension of win-win thinking. On the one hand, as the complexity of the problems we encounter increases, it is not just two parties involved in this choice, but may be a multi-party scenario, such as an international multilateral conference. . On the other hand, the choices we make not only allow you and me to reap benefits, but also allow the environment we live in to become better or move toward the better because of the choices we make. direction of development. Therefore, winning thinking is a thinking mode that can benefit all relevant parties.
***Although winning thinking is difficult to achieve, it does not mean that it is impossible
From the definition, We can see that winning thinking is to allow all relevant parties to gain, but each of us has our own mindset. The choices we each make are based on our own interests and are based on our own interests. We think about the problem from our own perspective. Naturally, if I want to accept your idea, I have to give up my own idea and accept yours. This is a very difficult thing. It is this mode of thinking that leads to many contradictions and conflicts in life, such as sellers and buyers, children and parents, etc.
It is recommended to read "The Third Choice", the best book written by Stephen Covey, who wrote "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" Author of a book. In this book, Covey introduces to us in detail that when faced with a dilemma, there is always a third option. It is the collaboration between the two parties to create a brand new third option and achieve the goal of winning. Today’s article can be said to be based on Covey’s book.
Through this book, I have a deeper understanding of winning thinking.
In the winning mindset, we will respect each individual more, instead of treating them as labels, and let go of our stereotypes. For example, we often think about how we should be as parents and how our children should be. In Teacher Wu Bofan's courses, we know that this stance is an intentional stance, and it is a stance that we need to be wary of.
***Winning thinking allows us to learn to treat each other and ourselves as people with unique ideas and creativity, realize the narrowness of our and each other's views, and realize that each other has is imperfect, so there is a third option in this world. And it is when we break out of these labels that we can regain the creativity to solve problems and see more possibilities
Covey in "The Third Choice" This book cites a story about his son. When his son was going to college, the class he wanted to enter was full. At this time, he ran to ask Covey what to do. Covey told him that if you follow the student's label, the problem cannot be solved because the school has rules and regulations it needs to follow.
But if you see that you are an independent person, you will find more ways to solve the problem, such as figuring out why they are no longer hiring, whether there are not enough places or the places are full. If there are not enough places, you can stand. Listen, if the seats are full, there may be students who drop out midway. No matter what, there will be a better solution after discussing with the person in charge. Finally, Covey's son entered the class he liked through effective communication.
As mentioned above, winning thinking can make us respect each individual more. It also allows us to put down our own prejudices and recognize the contradictions between us. It's all caused by prejudice. If we maintain this achievement, it will make us focus on other than the goal and consider how to persuade the other party to agree with our ideas. What will happen if we fail to convince.
For example, it is a common situation in the workplace where employees negotiate for a salary increase from their boss. There was a young man who accepted a very low salary for a job. After working for a few months, he went to his boss and asked for a salary increase. Under normal circumstances, bosses will encounter such a dilemma: either give employees a salary increase, or do not increase the salary and the employees resign. But if we use winning thinking at this time, we can find a better solution. The boss had an in-depth conversation with the employees and asked the young man for his opinions on the company and improvement plans. In the end, he found that this young man had great ideas and his value was seriously underestimated, so the boss assigned more tasks. In the end, this young man A person becomes a partner of the boss, the young man achieves his goal of a salary increase, and the big boss also gains a capable person. In this way, the goals of both parties are achieved and the win is achieved.
Through ***-win thinking, we can pay more attention to the problem and treat the relevant parties more gently. This thinking can also allow us to clarify the potential interests of both parties or the goals that both parties want when resolving team conflicts, allowing us to better find the winning solution to the problem.
What this mainly means is that in our social life, winning thinking can allow us to switch from a zero-sum game to a positive-sum game. These two words come from game theory. The zero-sum game means that the size of the cake is fixed. If someone gets more, someone will get less. What the positive-sum game means is that we can make the cake bigger together. We can make both sides of the game gain benefits, or at least one party's interests will increase while the other party's interests will not be harmed.
This reminds me of the description of what the best love is like that teacher Gao Xiaosong mentioned in yesterday's "Qi Pa Shuo" program. The best love is when two free souls love each other, and the end of our lives is to make ourselves a better version of ourselves. This is actually a true portrayal of our success in love and life. Teacher Gao Xiaosong’s words are the best description of love in my opinion. Maybe when we are in love, it will be because we are together, and then I need to give up for you, or you need to give up for me. I think this is not the case. The best kind of love. In this love, we can grow with each other, evolve together, and achieve the ultimate win in our lives.
Therefore, having a winning thinking mode can give us an extra sense of awareness when facing choices. In addition to the two choices in front of us, There is a third option, an option where we can all become better. Extending the winning thinking to our work, life, social interactions, etc. can give us more possibilities and allow us to become better versions of ourselves.
Finally, thank you to everyone who reads this article. I hope you can also have a winning mindset and gain a better life. The appendix is the other 6 algorithms of the life algorithm. If you are interested, you can also click to read. Finally, I will go to work tomorrow, so pack your mind, go to bed early, and wish everyone a good night.
Appendix:
1. Time cost thinking of life algorithm
< p> 2. Probabilistic thinking in the algorithm of life
3. Anti-entropy thinking in the algorithm of life
4. Algorithm of life Systematic thinking
5. Problem thinking of the algorithm of life
6. Boundary thinking of the algorithm of life