Why don’t people want to go to nursing homes when they are old?
According to a set of statistics, as of the end of 2018, China’s elderly population aged 60 and above accounted for 249 million, accounting for 17.9% of China’s total population.
It is estimated that by now, about 300 million people should be entering the ranks of the elderly.
Due to the one-child policy a few years ago, many couples now have four, or even six or eight elderly people in their heads. In addition, the expenditure on children’s education has increased year by year, and young people have It can be said to be a lot of pressure.
As a result, many parents plan to rely on nursing homes to help provide care for their children in the future in order not to burden their children.
However, are nursing homes really reliable?
Why are there many elderly people who live alone now that their children are no longer around and their wives are no longer around, and their families are well off and have no shortage of money, but they still prefer to live on their own rather than go to a nursing home?
The following three old people’s real thoughts express the voices of most elderly people. Let’s take a look.
I have a son and a daughter. If I go to a nursing home, I will be laughed at by uninformed people
Lao Li, who is 78 years old this year, has children who work in first-tier cities thousands of miles away from home. Because children in big cities have to go to work, there is no one to accompany Lao Li on weekdays. There is a language barrier and no friends, so Lao Li can't get used to living there, so he simply comes back and lives by himself.
The children were worried and said they wanted to find him an apartment for the elderly, where the facilities and living conveniences would be better.
Lao Li refused to go no matter what. He said: It is still comfortable at home. He has lived there all his life and is familiar with nursing homes and the like. Those places feel too close to death and there is no home. Warmth and no memory of home.
Besides, I have a son and a daughter who live in a nursing home. People who don’t know about it think that my daughter is unfilial to me. It would be bad for the children if word spread like that, and it’s not what I want.
Lao Li feels that this is what happens in this life. He also tried to "drift" in the first half of his life. Now that he has reached this stage of his life, he doesn't want to continue wandering anyway, so he just stays at home. Keep this place where you and your wife have lived for the rest of your life, and spend the rest of your life peacefully.
After spending a lifetime as a DINK, a nursing home can only be the final destination
89-year-old Sister Zhou has been a DINK with her husband for a lifetime.
When I was young, it was not that I didn’t think about having children. It was just that the two of them were busy with their careers and never put having children on the agenda. Later, they put it off until they were old enough to want to have children. , it’s too late.
Fortunately, Sister Zhou's husband was very open-minded and said, "If you don't have children, you won't have children." So the two of them accompanied and supported each other, and 50 years passed in the blink of an eye.
Two years ago, Sister Zhou’s husband left her alone.
Sister Zhou is old and can live by herself. Firstly, she felt lonely; secondly, she had no children and had no thoughts in her heart; thirdly, her husband had found a high-end nursing home for her before he was alive, and told her not to treat her badly when he left.
So after her husband left and took care of his funeral affairs, Sister Zhou sold her house and other assets, gave the money to the nursing home that her husband had chosen for her before she died, and lived in it.
According to Sister Zhou: After spending a lifetime as a DINK, his final destination can only be a nursing home. For the rest of my life, I will carry the memories of my wife with me and spend the rest of my life peacefully in the nursing home.
My wife and I can still take care of ourselves and are not considering nursing homes at the moment
The 66-year-old Zhang and his wife settled in the front line when they were young. Later, when their children got married, they bought them Got a house. So now, although the old couple does not live with their children, they are only ten minutes away by car.
After retiring, the old couple lived a life of leisurely life for a few years, traveling everywhere, taking walks every day to buy groceries and cooking, and returning to their hometown from time to time. Later, when their grandson was born, the old couple felt that their bodies were still strong, so they took the initiative to help take care of their grandson.
Daughter-in-law would drop off the grandson before going to work during the day, and pick him up after get off work in the evening.
Lao Zhang said: Taking care of children during the day is like fighting a war, but when you have some free time at night, you cherish these peaceful days. Now I and my wife cherish the time together and hope that both of us can hold hands until the end.
As for the nursing home, Lao Zhang said that currently he has no problem taking care of himself. With his wife by his side, his life is contented and happy, so he is not considering nursing homes for the time being.
When you really get to the point where you can no longer take care of yourself, you still have to rely on your children. If your children want to send you to a nursing home, you will happily go there.
After all, as people get older, some things are no longer under their control. This is something Lao Zhang and his wife are very open to.
Write it at the end
Many people say that nursing homes are not as good as you think.
If you don’t have enough money to support you (many times the pension alone is not enough to cover the expenses of a high-end nursing home) and you can’t go to a high-end nursing home, then don’t put too much hope in the nursing home.
In this life, the biggest hope for a person is to have good health. The greatest luck is to be able to walk and eat by yourself until the last moment, and to have your wife supporting and caring for you side by side.
Secondly, we must pay attention to the emotional connection with our children. Money can buy people's labor and care, but only family love can give people spiritual and spiritual comfort.
So, from a young age, you must take care of your body and be kind to your partners around you.
In addition, don’t boss your children around when you are still healthy. The world is always changing, so only by showing your heart to your heart can your children be filial to you.
Retirement care is a heavy topic. The aging of China is getting more and more serious now, but there is no need to be too anxious about the future. Live well now and do what you should do. The rest will be left to time. Can.
I believe that the social elderly care system will become more and more perfect, and there will be more and better nursing homes. Then by then, we will have at least one more choice in our old age.