As soon as my son entered junior high school, the teacher reflected that he talked too much and had poor self-control. What should he do if he is lazy?

When there is a boy in our family, how to train him well? We must first learn to understand the difference between boys and girls. Wise parents, read it carefully and see what you don't understand clearly.

Now more and more parents like quiet, obedient and sensible boys, but hate naughty and restless boys. However, with the emergence of more and more "sissy" men in adulthood, this society is calling for masculinity.

What's wrong?

The problems reflected in this article are practical and important. I hope parents with boys at home can have a look. Do we really need an obedient boy?

Education in China may inhibit the most creative group of boys (and girls) among children.

Not only in learning, but also how boys become adventurous people, people with various skills and can control their own lives, as well as children and adults in the sun.

I hope parents can think about it and give their children correct guidance and more room for growth.

To a friend with a son.

Mothers who have a baby boy or are going to have another baby boy must read this article, which is long but important.

Parents of boys have many questions, such as fidgeting in class, talking, hyperactivity, inattention, poor handwriting, difficulty in memorizing texts, like reading comic books, watching TV and falling in love with online games. Teachers and parents have taken all kinds of severe measures, but all have little effect.

Some parents say that these behaviors of children are getting worse and worse under our strict education.

A parent told me:

When her son violated discipline in class, the teacher called his parents. When he came home, his father scolded him or beat him. Not only did the child not correct his wrong behavior, but he also spoke loudly in class, poking this classmate and moving that classmate, which affected all the students around him.

The teacher called the parents again and the son was beaten again. Once, his father tried to hit him again, and his son rushed into the kitchen and picked up a kitchen knife to cut his father. The child is only 8 years old.

I saw a post that said so.

The first place is a girl, the monitor is a girl,

The Communist Youth League secretary is a girl, and the academic committee member is a girl.

The representatives of Chinese and English are girls.

It's girls who listen,

Is a sensible and considerate girl.

It is girls who listen carefully in class and answer questions actively.

It is girls who do their homework carefully after class.

It's a girl's paper, clean and tidy.

The correct calculation is for girls,

Word dictation is no problem for girls,

It is girls who pronounce English clearly.

The teacher read a girl's composition.

It's the girl who reads thoroughly,

It is girls who secretly compete with each other for grades.

Boys have the lowest grades.

It is men who despise being class cadres.

It is a boy who sleeps on his stomach in class.

It's a boy who was named by the teacher but didn't even know what the question was.

The teacher made a mistake and loudly questioned that the boy didn't give the teacher any face.

It is the boys who are all wrong in word dictation.

Silence is golden, but it is a boy.

Boys have low composition scores,

Is a boy who does reading without reading articles or lifting a pen.

It is the boy who often makes mistakes in the calculation.

It's boys who compete with teams with their favorite games.

It fully explains the phenomenon of "Yin flourishes while Yang declines" in schools at present. (Liang Qichao: "Youth is strong, China is strong". Under the historical conditions at that time, it should be dominated by boys. Whether boys are strong or not is related to the future of the country and the nation. It is also related to the vital interests of our girls. So many excellent girls are sighing at marriageable age. "Where is the man in my mind? Isn't this a tragedy? " )

Why on earth is this? What happened to our children? What is the crux of the problem ?

This is because we don't know our boys and adopt the wrong way of education!

Scientific research has proved that boys and girls are different.

In the past 30 years, a brand-new science-gender science is emerging. The research results on how gender affects boys and girls in 35 developed countries including the United States, Britain, Canada and Germany show that,

There is at least 100 difference between boys' and girls' brains. The following items are related to the questions that our parents often ask:

(1) Boys have more dopamine in their blood, and more blood flows through the cerebellum.

Dopamine increases the probability of impulsive and risky behavior. The cerebellum controls behavior and body movements. When there is more blood flow through the cerebellum, the cerebellum is more active, so boys love to move. These factors lead to the fact that boys' learning ability is not as good as that of girls in the process of sitting and sedentary. Boys are more likely to learn from physical exercise.

(2), the boy's calluses (parallel

Zhi) The body (fiber bundle connecting two hemispheres) is different from that of girls.

The corpus callosum of girls can make more cross-information processing between the two cerebral hemispheres, and can complete multiple tasks with the same quality at the same time. And boys can only do one thing at a time.

For example, when a boy is playing or doing other things, teachers and parents call him as if he has no long ears. Many boys were reprimanded by teachers and parents for this.

This often happens when my son goes to kindergarten. I often shout, "Did you hear that?" Don't you have long ears "He kicked him or slapped him when he was in a bad mood. Sons are often afraid of becoming smart. Now I have trained my son to answer "Mom, I know" as soon as he calls, but I paid a very painful price. I disturbed my son and destroyed the formation of his attention.

(3) The neural connections in temporal lobe are different.

Girls have stronger neural connections in the temporal lobe, which promotes the storage of more complex perceptual memory and better listening, so girls are particularly sensitive to the intonation of sounds.

Boys, on the other hand, rarely hear the sound echoing in their ears, especially when the sound appears in the form of language.

Therefore, when attending classes, boys are not as effective as girls.

Boys need more tactile experience to stimulate their brain's enthusiasm for learning.

. For example, the learning style of using both hands and brains is more suitable for boys.

(4) The hippocampus (a memory storage area in the brain) of boys and girls works in different ways.

Boys need more time to remember what they say in class, especially what they write. This is also a reason why it is difficult for boys to recite texts.

However, because the boy's hippocampus prefers order, he is very successful in memorizing a lot of order and hierarchical information (such as points, points, points, etc.). )! For example, when many boys write a composition, it is often: one what, two what and three how ... just like writing a summary. This is a characteristic of boys.

(5) The frontal lobe of boys is not as active as that of girls, nor does it develop as early as girls.

So it is easy for boys to make impulsive decisions. This impulse will make boys study independently outdoors more effective. But we let many children study in fixed seats in small classrooms, and the learning effect of boys is greatly reduced.

(6) The main language centers in girls' brains developed earlier and more developed.

Girls also have more estrogen and oxytocin (these chemicals directly affect the use of language). Boys have more testosterone (a hormone closely related to aggressive behavior) and vasopressin (related to territory and rank).

Because the content of oxytocin in the blood is low and the brain pays little attention to language, boys can't learn well when they sit still or talk, so this way of learning naturally can't arouse their interest. They learn the key in their brains, which is often cultivated through behavioral reaction, grade competition and aggression. )

(7) During the rest time after completing the task, the boy's brain will enter a "sleep state" in order to recover and replenish energy and prepare for the next task.

This kind of sleep state, which is very important for male brain activity, is likely to cause great disaster in class.

Self-stimulation's classmates, who didn't finish their homework, didn't take notes in class, didn't sleep, or fiddled with pencils (fidgety) or fidgety, were mostly boys, so as to stay awake and continue their studies.

It seems that we all misjudged our boys and always thought that they were deliberately violating discipline.

(8),

The total blood flow handled by boys' brains is less than that of girls 15%.

This structure is not conducive to learning multiple tasks at the same time. Therefore, boys perform well when they concentrate on a single task for a long time, and deep learning is playing a role at this time.

If they change their tasks very frequently, their performance will be poor. The main reaction of brain overstimulation to accomplish multiple tasks at the same time is frustration, so boys are prone to more discipline problems in class.

You can think about it: does our school education have time for in-depth study? Is there a method of deep learning?

(9),

The main hormone of boys is testosterone (high).

Testosterone reaches a high level in junior high school and senior high school.

Adolescent boys are stimulated by this hormone 5-7 times a day through their brains.

Testosterone can improve the development of spatial motor perception and the application of right brain center in boys. Boys' testosterone is 20 times that of girls.

So there is no doubt that the brains of adolescent boys and girls are different.

At this time, girls' hormones estrogen and oxytocin are constantly promoting the language development of the left frontal lobe, while boys' hormones are promoting the physical experience of male brain's aggressive behavior, spatial-mechanical and muscle movement perception.

Parents don't understand that boys in this period should exercise more and give them a chance to vent their irritability caused by hormones.

John J. Letheuil, a professor at Harvard Medical School, said: "Physical exercise itself can't make you smarter, but it can put your brain in the most favorable state for learning."

( 10),

Girls are 1- 1.5 years ahead of boys in reading and writing.

This distance runs through the whole learning career from early childhood. Many boys' brains naturally can't adapt well to the teaching methods that emphasize reading, writing and complex word formation, although these skills are indispensable to all cultures.

Compared with boys, girls have more brain regions responsible for language function, perceptual memory, sitting posture, listening, intonation and cross talk, so they are more likely to read and write in complicated ways. But it becomes more difficult for boys.

(11) From the perspective of human history, because men are mainly engaged in hunting activities.

Therefore, they need to cultivate a brain with more spatial motion perception ability. They need good eyesight, but they don't need to have particularly fine and sensitive perception like women in charge of fertility.

The boy's brain is extremely excited. Compared with girls' brains, blood flows more through the brain stem. Therefore, it is more suitable for body movement than for language input and output.

Throughout human history, human beings have developed organically through hunting and other spaces-the principle of mechanical movement, digital communication in economy and trade, and scientific principles involved in invention and creation.

The boy's brain is a beautiful maze of connections, waiting to connect numbers, distances, sizes, directions and directions. The boy's mind is full of curiosity and creativity.

However, with such a good brain, how can we boys in China fall into a reputation of being uncreative?

It is precisely because the boy's brain tends to play and learn in space-machinery. Compared with girls' brains, it always takes up more space.

When a boy is confined in a narrow space, he will fidget, feel confused and anxious like an ant on hot bricks, and then there will be many discipline problems. For example:

Boys need more desk space than girls.

Boys' brains often like to spread things out, which is one of the common learning ways of boys' brains. This is why boys will put books, notebooks and desks all over the table when they study. )

Boys like to unfold or disassemble things, and then reassemble or rebuild them. This is also the reason why boys like to sabotage. )

Some parents asked, "Why does my son like reading comics and popular science books instead of books recommended by teachers or parents?" This is determined by the hormonal, neurological and psychological characteristics of boys and their spatial-mechanical brains. They only like books that interest them.

Most boys like reading:

1. Books full of spatial motion perception activities:

Such as: horror movies, science fiction, sports biographies, and exciting, mysterious, full of conspiracy, the ultimate fight between good and evil books.

2. Technical or mechanical books, such as books on science and technology.

3. Graphic or visual books, such as comic books.

This phenomenon will disappear only when boys enter the university and their brain development tends to be completed. So if you want your son to like reading, don't impose your book list on your son.

In short, boys learn in the process of getting into trouble or doing something wrong on impulse, grow into men, become lawyers, doctors, athletes, pilots, company managers and so on, and promote the reform and innovation of human society.

The conclusion of this study is:

It's not the boys that have problems, but our education. Many key elements in boys' nature are not suitable for the present traditional education.

The researchers also raised the question: "Should we continue to work hard to change our boys or should we change the current education system?" They can ask, it seems unrealistic for us to ask, but we can say, "shall we continue to change our boys or change our family education?"

In school, boys' nature is not recognized. They are forced to give up their visual and spatial skills and motor skills. Over time, boys became "law-abiding", but their special talents were finally passivated or killed.

Many boys are ordered to "invite their parents" because of naughty, discipline and study reasons. Parents, on the other hand, hurried to "repair" their son after returning home. No one realized that there were deep reasons behind the boy's behavior. It can be said that our education is hurting our boys.

I want to ask you: what should our parents do under such circumstances?

We can at least improve our family education.

Give boys room to grow up:

Boys need space to grow up, which includes learning space and spiritual space.

Our parents should give their sons more understanding, tolerance and freedom, and give them "the least guidance, the greatest patience and the greatest encouragement!" "

If parents can fully understand and support them, boys will be independent earlier than girls.