Does he still love me? What does he think?
The world of love is vast. We not only love human society, such as our parents, our friends and our country ... We also love plants, such as Tao Yuanming's love for chrysanthemums and Zhou Dunyi's love for lotus flowers. Others like animals, keeping cats, dogs and racing pigeons; Some people even like minerals and collect all kinds of strange stones and foreign bodies as a pleasure; Some people collect stamps and matchboxes. It is certainly a kind of love to love sentient beings, and it is also a kind of love to love ruthless vegetation.
People often ask the question: "Where did human beings come from?" The Buddhist scriptures tell us: "People come from love!" The scripture says: "Love is not heavy, and you can't have a concubine", and we humans are "sentient beings", so we know that people are sentient and loving lives. Love is the root of life.
some love belongs to "stained" love, some love belongs to "pure" love, some love is "possessed" love, and some love is "dedicated" love. What is "love" like? On the bad side, love, like a rope, will bind us and make our body and mind not free; Love is like a chain, which will bind us and make us restless for a moment; Love is sometimes like a blind person, trapped in the dark and unaware of it; Love is like molasses on a knife. In order to taste that little sweetness, you may be in danger of breaking your tongue and dying. Love is more like a sea of suffering, "thousands of feet waves in love, waves in the sea of suffering", which can make us capsize in the sea of suffering.
On the positive side, love is sacrifice and dedication; Love is encouragement and compassion. For the public, they always want to be loved and like to get other people's feelings. But there are some people who like to show their love and love the public in society. However, love, sometimes it is very easy to go wrong, because "love" and "hate" are for he is my brother, and they are almost inseparable. If you don't love well, it will become hate, because the love that ordinary people in society talk about is often limited to the love between men and women, and you can't further expand love into the love of the people, and sublimate love into compassion for caring for all sentient beings. Today, I want to tell you about human love in four levels.
1. the love of ordinary people in the world
the so-called love of ordinary people is often narrow and limited, and the love of ordinary people is possessive and phase. Ordinary people's love sometimes leads to many problems. To sum up the reasons, there are probably the following reasons:
(1) The object of love is not right
Seeing the person you like, it is human nature to arouse the idea of admiration, but the object of admiration is not at the right time, which not only does not increase happiness, but adds trouble. For example, the other party has made a husband and wife, a famous flower is taken, and it is still struggling to pursue it, only causing tragedy. Besides, feelings are two-sided, and they can't be forced because they are intentional and ruthless. The degree of affection should also be shallow, shallow and deep. If you drown too much, it will inevitably lead to a bottomless result.
(2) The concept of love is incorrect
Some people think that they can buy other people's love with great wealth, and some people think that they can't communicate with each other because of their inappropriate status and portal. These are all wrong concepts. Take the example of love between men and women: like the marriage in the past, you must have how much money to be a matchmaker before you can talk about marriage; Or when talking about love, always consider each other's identity, family background, appearance, education and occupation, and list many conditions. Conditional love like this has become a kind of material love, not real love, because real love is unconditional and completely paid.
(3) The method of love is not right
Some people think that they can have three wives and four concubines, and enjoy the happiness of others, which is a private love for personal enjoyment. Some people don't correct their loved ones even if they have mistakes, while those they hate are picky in every way, and their eyes seem to be covered with a layer of gloom, so they can't clearly see each other's true colors. Therefore, some people say that love is blind. We should have the understanding that "love knows its evil, and evil knows its good" in order to truly play the role of love.
In the past, there was a police story: A rich man loved his only son very much, and he was reluctant to let his child suffer. His clothes were worn by waiters, and his rice was fed by spoonfuls. He was spoiled until he was 3 years old. The child had everything he wanted, and he did nothing. One day, the rich man celebrated his 5th birthday and specially invited an astrologer to tell his fortune. After this calculation, he realized that the rich man's birthday was 8 years old and his son could only live to be 62 years old. This was too bad. The rich man had no time to grieve for his son, and his son was crying: Dad! You can only live to be 8 years old, when I was only 6 years old, and there are still several years to live; At that time, you have gone to sleep in the coffin. Who will feed me? How can I dress for dinner?
Parents' wrong doting actually harms their children's life; The love encouraged by parents can give children great strength and make the right choice in life. Twenty years ago, when Master Cizhuang, now the abbot of Xilai Temple, decided to become a monk, her parents watched her finish shaving with tears and smiles. Why are her parents sad and happy, crying and laughing? After the crystal tears, what kind of feelings is that? In today's Buddhist world, there are many college students who are willing to become monks, and it is not uncommon for intellectual youth to devote themselves to Buddhism. However, more than 2 years ago, when the Buddhist atmosphere in Taiwan Province was still closed, it was really difficult for an educated young man to devote himself to Buddhism. Her parents have feelings for him, and hope that their children will always enjoy their knees, but they are more affectionate. Parents, between smiles and tears, have a profound meaning.
Actually, Buddhism does not oppose the just love between men and women and the affection between husband and wife. However, some young men and women in society are now in love, which has become random love-from precious love between men and women to disorderly love that causes trouble. This phenomenon is very bad.
Some people say that love is a comedy in France, a tragedy in Britain and an opera in Italy. If it is in the United States, love now has become a farce. And if love is in China, it will be a farce if I watch it from the side.
Why is love in our modern society an ugly drama? Everyone can see many shocking reports from the newspaper that the result of love is either disfigurement or injury, which has created many shocking and ugly incidents. I can't help sighing when I see so many ugly things happening. All beings really don't know love.
The so-called love, we don't have to talk about sacrifice and dedication for the time being, but at least we can't hurt each other in love. In "The Warring States Policy", Le Yi said: "A gentleman breaks up, and there is no evil voice; Loyal ministers go to the country without being named. "
if a gentleman breaks up with others, he will not speak ill of them; The loyal minister left the country and did not explain his noble name. Similarly, it's good that lovers can get married, but if they can't, they should be like gentlemen, and they don't have to turn against each other and become enemies. Once the emotion breaks down and we leave each other in a friendly way, how can we bear to vilify, hurt or even destroy the person we once loved so much in the past? Why bother?
Some people say that when young people talk about love, love is just talk. When middle-aged people talk about love, love is in the body and in the hands; When the elderly talk about love, love is in their hearts and unforgettable.
It can be seen that the experience of love is becoming more and more mature with the increase of age. Generally speaking, ordinary people's love is from beauty to white hair, from flowers to flowers, and they are more greedy for the joy of men and women. If love can be improved with the increase of our personality, and become more and more pure with the increase of morality, then the love of ordinary people will be more and more sublimated, from loving themselves, even their parents' families, and then loving the human beings in the world.
Second, the love of the sages in the world
The sages in the world, do they have feelings? Is there love? Is their love the same as that of ordinary people on earth? Let me give you a few examples to tell you about the love of sages in the world.
(1) Forgetting oneself for the country
Dayu was a sage in ancient China. At that time, the people in the world were suffering from floods. He was ordered to control water and relieve the suffering of the people in the world. After 13 years of supervision outside, he passed his home door three times without visiting his relatives. That's because he always thought that ordinary people were living in dire straits and forgot his own affair. This spirit of forgetting oneself for the country and the people has left a model for our future generations.
During the Warring States Period, Qu Yuan was an important minister around Chu Huaiwang. Because King Huai listened to the villain's words to sow discord, he gradually alienated Qu Yuan and even exiled him. However, Qu Yuan still loves his country and sincerely hopes that the motherland can embark on the road of prosperity. Therefore, although he did not believe in the king, he did not change his loyalty of worrying about the country and the world, and he even died in the Miluo River. From the many touching patriotic speeches he left behind, we can feel Qu Yuan's unpalatable patriotic sentiment. He would rather die for his country than live for himself. This kind of love is a kind of love that sacrifices oneself.
Lu Fangweng, a patriotic poet in the Song Dynasty, experienced the turmoil in the Southern and Northern Song Dynasties. When he was dying, he said to his descendants, "When I died, I knew that everything was empty, but I was sad to see Kyushu; Julian Waghann north central plains day, family sacrifice don't forget to tell is weng ". This kind of love for the country is also a sublimation of feelings.
(2) Being selfless for others
General Maha, the cousin of the Buddha, is a general guarding the city of Kapilao Weiguo. When the city was attacked by the enemy, he said to the enemy, "Don't kill my people, just wait a moment now;" When I sink to the bottom and float again, you will start killing my people! " The fierce Liuli King, the commander of the enemy, said, "Anyway, you born to die. All right! I will grant you your last wish. "
The Maha man sank into the water, but it didn't come up for a long time. The glass king was puzzled, so he sent his men to dive into the water to find out. It turns out that Maha man tied his hair to a tree under the water and will never come up. Why did he drown himself in the water? In order to have more time for the people in the city to escape. Fearless love like this is also a superb love.
Some sages in the world gave their lives to love their country and all beings, while others risked their lives to pursue the truth. Let's talk about the love of sages who forget their own safety for the law.
(3) Dedicate yourself to the Dharma
In Buddhism, Tang Sanzang Xuanzang is known as the "Confucius of Buddhism". In order to study Buddhism in India, he had to go through 8 miles of desert. On the way, the water carried by the horse suddenly dumped and lost. In the desert, if there is no water, it is bound to be a dead end. However, he endured all kinds of hunger and thirst and made a firm vow: "I would rather die in the west than live in the east", which is also a valuable love.
Let's take a look at the kimono worn by the Japanese, which is very similar to that of China. The building style of the house is similar to that of China house; Even the tableware for eating is Chinese. Japanese culture can be said to be a branch of China culture. Who spread the China culture and planted it in Japan? That is the master Jian Zhen of the Tang Dynasty. When he made a vow to promote Buddhism in Japan, he made seven efforts and spent 12 years.
once failed, it was captured by the government; On another occasion, I met robbers on the road and was looted; Later, I encountered typhoon waves and turned back halfway; Even, betrayed by his own disciples. After so many hardships, I finally arrived in Japan for the seventh time. At that time, he was over 6 years old and blind. However, he still did not change his original intention and said such touching words: "Why cherish life for big things?"
In order to accomplish the great task of promoting Buddhism and benefiting all sentient beings, he spared his own life. Like this kind of enthusiasm for seeking truth and sad wish to promote Buddhism, it is also sublimated from love.
(4) Do one's best for filial piety
In Buddhism, the eldest filial son, Mu Lian Zun, risked his life to save his mother who was suffering in hell, so that the Buddha started to explain the method of saving the family by the "Orchid Sutra", which not only saved his biological parents, but also saved all parents. This filial piety is a great transformation of love.
In the Northern Qi Dynasty, Daoji Zen Master carried thousands of scriptures at one end and his old and blind mother at the other, and promoted Buddhism everywhere. When someone wanted to help him take care of his old mother, he politely refused to say, "This is my mother who gave birth to me, not your mother. I should take care of her life."
Chen Zunsu in the Tang Dynasty, with a lofty spirit, learned from Huang Berberi's wish to transport the Zen master, was filial to his parents, and knitted his own boots to support his mother, so everyone respectfully called him Chen Puxie.
There are many touching filial piety in Buddhism. This kind of filial piety is the most sincere and good feeling of human beings, and it is also a high expression of love.
(5) Love your disciples as yourself
Next, I want to talk to you about the mentoring love generated by Goodall's great efforts to educate their children.
It is recorded in The Analects that when Yan Hui, a disciple of Confucius, died, Confucius said sadly, "God has lost me! I am also missing! " Confucius' tears are the expression of his feelings. Why did disciple Yan Hui die and make him so sad? He is sad for the death of young talents and the loss of talents! This is a kind of compassionate love.
The venerable Milarepa visited the teacher everywhere to seek enlightenment, and finally found the guru Marba who was good at knowledge as a preacher. The guru asked him, "You worship me as a teacher, and I ask you, what do you have to support me?"
The venerable Milarepa bowed devoutly: "I dedicate my body, mouth and mind to you as my support."
When the guru agreed, he was accepted as a disciple. One day, the guru said to him, "You are in good health. I want you to build me a stone house for collecting scriptures. When it is finished, I will preach the Dharma to you!" "
Milarepa was very happy when she heard this, and immediately asked the guru to give him the drawings for building the house. The guru said, "I want to build a round house on the top of the dangerous mountain in the East, so as to eliminate your karma."
Milarepa worked hard to build the house day by day. Almost halfway through the construction, the guru came, folded his half-moon coat layer by layer, and put it on the ground. He said, "This place is not good. Please dismantle the stones and materials and transport them down the mountain. Go to the western hills and build a house for me like this!"
Milarepa was miserable, so she had to build a house back to back again. When it was halfway built, the guru came again and said, "This house doesn't look right. Please tear it down, move the wood and stones down the mountain and build me a triangular house that truly represents the yogi!"
Milarepa had to follow the teacher's orders and work tirelessly again, instead of suffering from scorching sun and wind and rain. After a third of the work, the master came again and asked, "Who told you to do this house?" Milarepa was in a hurry and immediately replied, "Master, you personally ordered this!"
The guru scratched his head and said, "Oh? Why can't I remember? You didn't mean to build a triangular house in such a bad feng shui place, like a altar city where the punishment method was practiced.