Why online dating?
Why on earth do we fall in love with someone in an online game? How many conflicts are there? What are the chances of success?
Although you may not have the experience of online dating, you still have the experience of chatting with strangers online.
In other words, the post-80s and post-90s students just caught up with the rapid development trend of the Internet. With the iconic cough, the flashing picture of the head is also vivid.
Nowadays, online dating has become the mainstream way for young people to fall in love. You may have met Brother Wild Wang who operated 10-0 last night with a nice voice. Today, he is CPDD, and he still sends YYDS in his circle of friends.
Some people think that online dating is unreliable. Without fully understanding each other, it is easy to be cheated through online chat.
Some people think that online dating is reliable, but it should also be based on a certain understanding.
The imaginary online dating is like this.
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So, is online dating reliable?
Online dating is considered unreliable for three reasons.
First, online dating is not safe.
The human brain is not good at distinguishing lies from truth.
In the internet age, many people don't know what kind of people are at the other end of the network.
This has become a variety of social news that everyone often sees:
"The girl met a netizen thousands of miles away and found that her close lover was actually Uncle Zhang in the next village." "After chatting online for three months, she was cheated by 300,000." "
Therefore, it is easy for us to feel that online dating is unreliable, because under the various virtual packages of the network, it is difficult for us to distinguish whether the other party is sincere or has ulterior motives. "
Secondly, online dating is too illusory.
In the network age, anyone can easily create a digital "perfect self", which is called "self-presentation" in psychology.
The circle of friends that many people show their bosses is all kinds of overtime to eat instant noodles late at night;
Colleagues' circle of friends is to show various travel and fitness reading exhibitions;
The circle of friends of students is to show all kinds of scenery to win prizes and have a successful career. "
So, does the online dating object show the true self? "
Online dating is too far away.
Online dating may not only be far from reality, but also too far for two people.
Many people are true love, but because of work and study, they are forced to go to different places and become online dating objects.
You can call the video when you miss each other.
Slowly once a month, once every three months, once every six months, once a year, it is difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship.
Network is just a means and way for people to get to know each other. We can only get to know each other through the internet, but only through actual meeting, communication and mutual experience can we get to know a person and have true love.
Love based on network is not love without actual meeting and real life interaction.
In other words, this kind of love is more a "feeling of love" than a fact of love.
It's the feeling of love, not the fact of love. How to understand this sentence?
For example, watching plums quench your thirst.
Looking at plums to quench thirst is also a feeling, but it can't really solve the problem of thirst.
Online dating is a bit like looking at plums to quench your thirst. It will have the feeling of companionship, especially in telephone or video chat, and it can comfort each other and weave happiness.
But no matter how strong this feeling is, it is difficult to reach real life.
This is the actual gap between two people having a meal together by video chat and having a meal together.
I said this view, not to deny online dating, but to express a point of view:
Online dating should return to real life, and online dating should live.
The person you know online, no matter how good it feels, should go back to real life to experience the tempering of real life.
Only in this way can true love be possible, otherwise, people are easily deceived by their own feelings.
The disadvantage of online dating is to fill many gaps between the two sides by imagination and feeling.
Are you the person I want?
Players love each other in the game, and the communication after the game is also a brief encounter, but which game character or the person behind them do they like?
People's hearts are separated from their bellies, not to mention such a long network cable.
Do we really love a person who spends more than 80% of his spare time on virtual games?
If the answer is yes.
Well, congratulations on finding true love.
Many people have a naturally idealized partner image in their hearts, but it is difficult to find such a person in reality, and they often unconsciously project this idealization on the right person.
For those who have been looking for an ideal partner, the fake image of a liar almost satisfies all illusions.
I even think that if I miss this person, it may be difficult to meet the other half so close to my ideal.
Therefore, the image of my ideal partner will be projected on the image deliberately created by the liar.
When you idealize the other person, it will also have a halo effect, which will form a positive evaluation of the other person's other personality, such as thinking that the other person is honest, kind and upright.
Love a person, starting from the face value, trapped in talent, loyal to character.
Projection effect
Projection effect refers to a cognitive obstacle imposed on others by treating others according to their own characteristics and thinking that others will have the same characteristics as themselves.
That is, in the process of interpersonal cognition, people often assume that others have the same attributes, hobbies or tendencies as themselves, and often think that others naturally know what they are thinking.
More and more people are talking about buying and selling chips in the marriage and love market, and few people are willing to see a person through their souls instead of paying attention to the face value, talent and material things that everyone sees.
Everyone is often intertwined with beauty and ugliness, good and evil, light and darkness. ...
It is because of the opportunity of comparison that I constantly see the space I can explore and make progress.
Believe it or not, the world is a mirror that projects our hearts.
The ideal is full, the reality is very skinny
Online dating is risky, so you need to be careful running around.
You are in love, just the person you love, and sometimes it doesn't really exist.
Ta may just be an innocent white wall. You are crazy about it and project all your favorite love movies on Ta.