Why can't the names of daughter-in-law and son-in-law be engraved on the inscription? Afraid of a new divorce in the future
Why not carve the daughter-in-law's name on the tombstone? Because a woman is the daughter-in-law of her husband's family, she will set up a monument again after she dies in the next hundred years ...! ! ! Become a grandmother forever for future generations! ! !
The name of the daughter born to her parents cannot be engraved on the inscription on the memorial tablet, because the daughter will get married when she grows up. The water spilled by the married girl is the paternal line of her husband's family, not her mother's family. Therefore, the daughter born to parents cannot be engraved on the sacrificial tablet inscription of the paternal clan of parents.
The son-in-law's name can't be engraved on the inscription on the memorial tablet, not for fear that his daughter's son-in-law will divorce later, because the son-in-law is not a father's family (father's surname), but an outsider with a foreign surname. Therefore, the name of the son-in-law cannot be engraved on the inscription of the father-in-law's family (father's surname). Even the door-to-door son-in-law is the same; Even if the parents-in-law did not have a son before their death, they only gave birth to one or several daughters, and it is the same if they did not recruit a son-in-law. The name of the son-in-law cannot be engraved on the epitaph of the memorial tablet for the father-in-law's mother-in-law, but only the name of the nephew who is related to the immediate family of the father-in-law's clan (father's surname) or the name of the nephew who passed through the portal in the distance.
If the husband and wife had no son before their death, but only gave birth to a daughter after marriage, and did not designate a nephew to set up a stepfamily before their death, the respected representative agent of the immediate family where the husband and wife live (commonly known as the patriarch) will coordinate and negotiate to solve the problem, and designate the nephew of the offspring, which will be engraved on the tombstone to "set up a stepfamily to set up a portal".
The name of the daughter-in-law must be engraved, because the daughter-in-law is her home when she marries you. The name of the son-in-law is a question mark.
The inscription was handed down once, and it is impossible to tear it down because the daughter-in-law divorced.
It is also exquisite to build monuments. You shouldn't carve anyone's name if you want. You should distinguish between family and outsiders. First, the son and daughter are blood relatives. Although the married daughter is an outsider, she is also blood relatives. Then there is the name of the daughter-in-law Although the daughter-in-law is an outsider, she is family when she marries your family. At the bottom, grandchildren will go down later.
My nephew's son-in-law doesn't write inscriptions. If the deceased has no children, the nephew can erect a monument for the deceased. If the deceased has a daughter and no children, then the daughter and son-in-law have the obligation to erect a monument for the deceased.
Now divorce has become a bad trend. As long as the daughter-in-law's name is engraved on the inscription, it can be said that you are also a ghost of this family after death. Even if you remarry ten times and eight times, you have to go back to your hometown.
Setting up a monument is a way of sacrificial inheritance, which is related to genealogy culture. Inscriptions are the imprint of the times of traditional culture. There is a reason why the names of son-in-law, daughter and daughter-in-law cannot be engraved. (1) is caused by the feudal patriarchal ideology. (2) limited by conditions, a tombstone is only a foot wide at best, and there are dozens or even hundreds of names, which is definitely impossible. Daughter-in-law is a member of her own family and a continuation of future generations. There is no need to reinvent the wheel.
Times are changing, monuments are changing, and inscriptions for men and women are gradually emerging. Daughters, sons-in-law and grandchildren all have inscriptions (except daughter-in-law), especially without children, the road was built by people. I have written inscriptions to many people, and it has gradually become a new trend. Mainly because of the small population, one son and one woman account for the vast majority, and more than a dozen people have been carved. This shows a problem, everything can be changed, the original rules and regulations are artificial, and maybe it will develop in a more scientific and simpler direction in the future. There is nothing immutable in the world, so let it be.
Can't the names of the daughter-in-law and son-in-law be engraved on the tombstone? Where is this rule? We don't have such regulations in Guizhou.
Since ancient times, it is natural that old people will die in every family. Then after the death of the old man at home, we should bury the old man according to local customs.
Maybe the burial customs are different in every place. I don't know anything else, so I dare not say it casually. Then I can only talk about our funeral customs in Guizhou.
I remember when I was a child, probably in primary school. There are several masons in our small street who build tombstones for the dead old people.
I often go to small streets after school because I like to watch masons hit monuments. Watch the masters carve words on tombstones.
It will take several days to pull a big stone tablet back from a distant country and unload it from the truck. It will take several days of primary processing, polishing and final lettering.
First, punch the stone into a roughly flat shape, then punch the lettering side into a flatter plane, and then fix a wooden stick on the grinding wheel with a grinding wheel to drag and polish the stone tablet.
You can't dry grind the stone tablet. You have to water it while grinding, so that the stone powder won't fly around. Otherwise, the neighbors can't stand such pollution.
After the tombstone is polished, I have to ask a cultural person who can write inscriptions to write it. I have read it many times, and I feel that not everyone can write inscriptions.
Because the inscription is written on hard stone, the feeling of writing brush characters on paper is different at ordinary times.
The master who wrote the inscription (perhaps it is more appropriate to call the teacher) is all specialized in eating this bowl of rice, so the inscription written is also very knowledgeable. I haven't seen anyone make mistakes in writing.
Before writing the inscription, you should first make a grid on the stone tablet, and the teacher who writes it will arrange the proportion according to the number and names of the bereaved children and grandchildren.
I looked at the center of the stone tablet. From top to bottom are the names of the tomb owner, and on the left are the names of the descendants of the tomb owner. From son to daughter, to daughter-in-law and son-in-law, all should be written on it.
Besides daughter-in-law and son-in-law, you should also write the names of grandchildren, some of whom are great-grandchildren, whether they are grandchildren or grandchildren.
After the writing teacher has written the words on the tombstone, the masons can carve according to the written inscription. According to the number of inscriptions, it will take some time to complete the carving.
We have a custom here, that is, when the owner of the tomb dies, we must engrave the names of all the descendants on the tombstone, and we can't miss it.
However, if a descendant with a tombstone dies later, a box must be carved around the person's name to indicate that the person has also died.
This is our funeral custom here. I wonder if there are other places like ours. Or there are different ones.
In my humble opinion, most of the monuments of the deceased are immediate family members (younger generations), and the daughter-in-law and son-in-law are obviously not among them. And the name on the stone tablet should echo the inscription on the front. Generally, the inscriptions are mainly based on the initial test, or the identities and titles of my late father's mother, daughter-in-law and son-in-law are obviously inconsistent.
Daughter-in-law and son-in-law have no certainty. Today is a relative, tomorrow is not necessarily. It is difficult to deal with lettering in divorce, but it is necessary to deal with it in remarriage. Most of our common inscriptions still write the names of daughter-in-law and son-in-law.
Your previous question was a bit arbitrary, as if you were looking at a leopard in a tube. In fact, it is "the blind touch the elephant", which is a bit of a face.
China is a vast country, as the saying goes, a hundred miles is different from customs, and ten miles changes rules. As for the inscription, the name of the daughter-in-law and son-in-law cannot be engraved, and the old woman can't agree.
In our hometown, when a monument is erected for the deceased parents, the names of sons and daughters-in-law should be engraved on the lower left of the monument in the order of "Zhong Zhong" and "You Shu", and the names of grandchildren should be engraved on the lower left of the monument in the order of parents' names and men's left and women's right.
Below are the names of the daughter and son-in-law. Because the son-in-law is a foreigner, he no longer follows the convention that men are superior to women. Instead, they carved their daughter's name on the left front, and the names of their son-in-law were juxtaposed.
As for the names of grandchildren, they are still arranged below their parents from left to right according to the feudal idea of respecting their elders (men) and belittling their children (women). Although the son-in-law and grandson are men, the order in the inscription is quite different, as if in the third generation, the feudal order of male superiority and female inferiority was restored.
On the lower left of the inscription is the real-time date of sculpture creation, which is not exactly the same as the time when parents died. It was just a "freeze" of the monument time, which recorded the children's marriage and family reproduction at a certain moment. As for whether they will divorce in the future, there is no predictive function. Even if there are any changes in the future, there is no need to polish and re-engrave, because the inscription records only a moment in the past, not all the historical materials of a family evolution.
This is related to local customs. The formation of customs is closely related to the development of society. Specifically, in the development of China society, the early and middle period of clan society is matriarchal clan (that is, a social organization based on matriarchal blood relationship), and the lineage and inherited property are calculated according to matriarchal blood. In production and economic life, women are respected and occupy a leading and dominant position in society. In the later period of clan society, due to the development of agriculture and handicrafts, the position and role of men in production became more and more important, and the social center naturally shifted. The matriarchal clan is gradually replaced by the paternal clan, and men are dominant and dominant. Thus, the era of male chauvinism began. In a patriarchal society, blood and property are calculated by men, and men's economic power and status are higher than women's. Family marriage relationship has changed from "from wife's residence" to "from husband's residence", and children naturally no longer belong to matriarchal clan but become patrilineal members and inherit property.
With the continuous development of society, the dominant position of men is getting stronger and stronger, while the position of women is getting weaker and weaker, and the phenomenon that men are superior to women is becoming more and more serious. A woman's position is to follow her father at home, her husband after marriage and her husband after death. For example, in the genealogy compiled by surnames in the past, men were ranked by their real names according to their generations, and women were ranked behind their husbands according to a certain surname. This is a typical phenomenon that men are superior to women. For another example, when an old man dies, his husband is allowed to participate in the filial piety list, and the descendants of the main family write their names in the order of generations, even the underage granddaughter or great-granddaughter, but the married woman is written in the relatives' line because of "the water spilled by the married woman". People are still alive, let alone dead. Take the erection of a monument as an example. In the past, it took people three years to build a monument after they died. If a woman dies first, even if her children and grandchildren are full, even if she is three years old, the monument cannot be erected, but only after the death of a man. It can be seen how low the status of women is. Daughter and son-in-law can't sign the memorial tablet because they are outsiders! In some places, when the old man dies, the daughter can only send half of it, saying that she has gone to her mother's house and her family is not rich; In some places, Tomb-Sweeping Day's daughters can't go to their parents' graves, saying that their brothers won't get rich if they go! All this shows that in such a society, the social status of women is so low! This is why the names of daughter-in-law and son-in-law cannot be engraved on the inscription, which has nothing to do with divorce.
Nowadays, feudal superstitions have been eliminated, customs have changed, equality between men and women has been advocated, and the status of women has improved. Chairman Mao, a great man, once said, "Women hold up half the sky". Indeed, there are many women in all walks of life, all fronts and leadership positions at all levels. Now all surnames are genealogical, and all members of the family, regardless of gender and age, are registered with their real names, and some even have comments on their son-in-law. Nowadays, a monument is erected to the dead old man, and even the names of his daughter and son-in-law are engraved.
In a word, society is developing, times are progressing and customs are changing. People's minds should also get rid of bad habits and keep pace with the times!
Let me answer this question. Many tablets have been written in reality. According to the old tradition, only men wrote on tablets, but now it's different, society has changed and ideas have changed. Now anyone can write on the tablet, and so can a daughter-in-law. If there is no son, the daughter-in-law can also write on it, and the grandson can also write on it. Why? Because they are all written by individuals, there is no taboo.
I read some comments, which were too complicated to mention the real meaning. I think I'm afraid of offending modern young people. It is a traditional filial piety to erect a monument to the deceased, especially for those elders who have fame and fortune, and it also shows the glory of the clan. The monument also has an important significance: clan inheritance to show that family incense has been passed down. Because the patriarchal society is dominated by men, women's social status and family status have been declining. Women follow their fathers at home and marry their husbands, and husbands follow their sons, especially Confucianism, which lists women and villains. It is not difficult to see the low status of women. Monument to an old friend, the person who erected the monument does not engrave a woman's name, such as her daughter's name, her daughter's name. The real reason is that women have no status and can't be engraved on stone tablets with men. According to the comments, there is a saying that the name of the daughter-in-law is not engraved because the daughter-in-law will be an ancestor in the future, so it is not engraved. What about that guy? In the future, I will also be an ancestor, ahead of my daughter-in-law.