Why is the feng shui of your marriage hidden in your kitchen?
"Can you cook with your heart, raise people or feed pigs?"
"Can you wash the dishes? Don't count on me for everything. I'm exhausted. Who will wait on you? "
"You don't earn money, you don't cook well, and the hygiene is so poor. What do you need?"
"The rice is gone, don't you see? Blind! Why not buy it in time? "
...
These quarrels often happen in the kitchen of every household.
a small kitchen, ranging from more than ten square meters to as little as five or six square meters, is the most basic level and guarantees the cornerstone of marriage.
in other words, the wind and water related to the happiness of marriage are hidden in the kitchen of every household.
1. Nanny kitchen.
"My kitchen is my own home, but there are five people sitting on the dining table with their mouths full and their clothes stretched out." It is the helplessness of housewife Wang Li (a pseudonym).
according to Wang Li, her marriage mode is a typical one in which the man is the master and the woman is the master.
Her husband has a good job and a high income. She got married soon, and her in-laws are in poor health. In addition, she has given birth to two children in succession, so she has to quit the workplace and return to her family.
However, she also admitted that leaving the workplace and having a second child were the two most wrong choices in her life.
Because of these two things, her marriage was directly forced into a "nanny marriage".
For a family of six, it's Wang Li's job to update out-of-season clothes, clean socks and underwear, cultivate children's habits and socialize at weddings and funerals.
catching up with the elderly and the sick children, she is more like an ant on hot bricks, running around in school, hospital and family, with three heads and six arms.
However, in six years of marriage, she has always lived like a nanny who can be called at the drop of a hat. This conclusion has been confirmed again and again from her kitchen!
In Wang Li's family, it is unfilial to let the old people into the kitchen.
It's inconsiderate to let her husband into the kitchen.
It is irresponsible to let the children into the kitchen ...
In short, the daily necessities and meals for a family of three are Wang Li's responsibility, and there should be no complaints.
Wang Li recalled that in the second month, her mother-in-law not only didn't take care of herself, but also often followed the doctor's advice that "the parturient should take appropriate activities" and let Wang Li do everything herself, saying that her figure recovered quickly and she didn't need to lose weight deliberately.
Because of the lack of milk, Wang Li bought crucian carp soup to drink, but her mother-in-law said that she couldn't smell the fishy smell, and she quarreled with Wang Li. Finally, she said, "You are in our house, eating my food, drinking my food, staying with me, and even making me angry. Your heart is really vicious."
Wang Li still remembers that for six years, apart from the heavy housework and child-rearing work, there was always not enough time to cook by herself, and she was sarcastically "shabby" by her in-laws and husbands, so she had to eat the next meal by herself.
On another occasion, when her husband was late from work, Wang Li took her two children to cook for her husband, holding the crying second child in one hand and frying the dishes in the pot in the other, and her thigh was still held by the second child, and the food was served. Because it was not to her husband's taste, and because her husband was angry outside, she swept the dishes from the table to the ground at once.
The child was crying, and the husband kept cursing: "You don't do anything every day, you don't earn a penny, you can't even cook a meal well. What can you do except eat?"
Wang Li remembers that one year, her mother was ill in hospital, because her home was close to the hospital, and her mother wanted to drink millet porridge, so Wang Li cooked porridge for her mother at home.
When my in-laws saw this, they immediately pulled down their faces. Her husband even bluntly said, "There is a canteen in the hospital, and there is a restaurant outside. Just buy millet porridge for your mother. The kitchen at home is for your own use. Is the lunch box you deliver food dirty when you go in and out of the hospital and then go home?"
...
After repeated injuries, Wang Li realized that if she didn't earn money, she would be a nanny in that family for life.
Finally, after her youngest son entered the garden, she began to go out to work. However, middle-aged women with low academic qualifications, family support and no skills have very few choices.
finally, she chose a housekeeping company.
She just learned that cooking three meals a day for a family of five earns no less than 3, yuan a month.
bringing two children to a family will earn no less than 4, yuan a month;
Help a family clean up every day, and earn no less than 3, yuan per month;
Take care of two elderly people, with a monthly income of not less than 2, yuan;
The monthly income of picking up and dropping off children is not less than 2, yuan ...
That is to say, in the six-year marriage, she has never had a free meal, but gave up the opportunity of earning more than 1, yuan a month to serve a family, and she is always treated badly as a nanny.
Finally, after working for one year, when her parents-in-law and her husband unanimously rejected her and kicked her out of the house again, she filed for divorce and asked her husband to pay more than 18, yuan for all the expenses she had paid in six years.
her husband was blindsided at once, but Wang Li was determined.
Wang Li's kitchen is full of Wang Li's grievances and tears, and the
arrogance and disdain of her in-laws and her husband. Where does this marriage come from?
2, AA kitchen.
"Our marriage died of excessive pursuit of equality and calculation. It can be seen from our kitchen. " It is the reflection of Li Ling (pseudonym), a working woman, on her failed marriage.
Li Ling said that just after she got married, she found her husband's bad habit of mouth-to-mouth, clothes-to-hand, and how to verbally scold him remained unchanged.
However, she has a higher education and a higher salary than her husband. Why should she be a "disgruntled woman" who shoulders the burden of family business and pays attention to the elderly and children?
In order to punish her husband, she formulated the principle of AA system in which they live in every detail.
personal clothes should be cleaned separately;
She is responsible for cleaning the table and sweeping the floor, and her husband is responsible for cleaning the floor;
She is responsible for tutoring the children's homework, and her husband is responsible for sending the children to school ...
A more detailed division of labor is in the kitchen, which is related to the survival of marriage.
The husband is responsible for buying food and cooking, and Li Ling is responsible for washing vegetables and dishes and maintaining hygiene.
but even with such a clear division of labor, the conflict between the two has never been broken.
Li Ling accused her husband of purchasing ingredients, only caring about his own likes and dislikes, and cooking is also his own favorite taste.
children get angry when they eat spicy food. Li Ling has a light taste, but her husband can't cook without spicy food. It's really selfish.
The husband accused Director Li Ling of being rough, the floor was unclean, and he often didn't clean the sink. In summer, there was a bad smell, the items were not arranged neatly, and the dishes and chopsticks were greasy and difficult to use. It was really sloppy and irresponsible.
once, when her husband came home, he found that there was no rice to cook, but Li Ling only ordered takeout for himself and his children. Her husband suddenly felt cold and asked Li Ling why he was so indifferent. Li Ling retorted, "You didn't do your duty yourself, which led to a family without food. How can you make a fuss?"
Li Ling also recalled with grievance that once when she was tidying up fish, she was accidentally stabbed by a fishbone, which made her bleed and hurt. Unexpectedly, her husband found a pair of gloves for her to continue. When she was crying about her husband's ruthlessness, her husband replied, "Only by doing their jobs can we proceed in an orderly manner."
When they quarreled fiercely, they went on strike separately. There was no fire at home for a month, and mung bean sprouts were raised in the pool.
after a long time, the fireworks at home are gone, and the feelings are weak. The disintegration of marriage seems to be between any next meal.
3, mutual kitchen.
"As long as the two of us are at home, there will never be only one person in the kitchen." It is Xiaoyang's (pseudonym) pride in his marriage.
xiaoyang admits that neither she nor her husband likes eating out, for one thing, because it is expensive, and for another, because the quality and hygiene of the ingredients cannot be guaranteed.
They were married in a flash, and their love affairs after marriage were all discussed in the kitchen.
It's often that she washes and cuts vegetables, her husband cooks and cleans up the dishes and chopsticks together after meals.
If she is unwell for a few days, her husband will give her a holiday several days ago, so she can just chat.
Later, when children are born, one person is often busy in the kitchen, and another person is holding the child and standing at the door doing housework.
Later, when the children were older, they became frequent visitors in the kitchen. When choosing vegetables and making jiaozi, they always helped, which was another kind of fun.
In terms of eating habits, the husband gave up the habit of heavy taste in order to take care of the health of his wife and children.
For the sake of her husband's taste of neither spicy nor unpleasant, Xiaoyang stipulates that there must be Chili on the dinner table every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Because of Xiaoyang's saying, "My own stuffing tastes better", my husband will chop the stuffing himself if he doesn't buy the ready-made stuffing.
Because her husband has the habit of eating hot and fast meals, which seriously affects his health, Xiaoyang and her husband agreed that after the meal is cooked, they can't eat it for half an hour, and they are not allowed to finish it within half an hour.
The two men got the message that they would leave the fresh and expensive shrimp for their son to supplement their nutrition.
They will also fry the dishes to a pulp to take care of the dietary requirements of the elderly living with them ...
In short, the small kitchen is often the place where their family has the most fun and gains more.
As the saying goes, people are iron, rice is steel, and if they don't eat a meal, they will be hungry. This shows that the kitchen in the cooking place is really related to life and marriage.
That is to say:
If your marriage is not guaranteed by daily necessities, talking about happiness is simply an idiotic dream;
If you are married without the participation of pots and pans, if you want to be happy, you must be in the opposite direction;
If your marriage is mired in the problem of "different opinions", it must be wishful thinking if you want to be happy.
So, if you want a happy marriage, please start with the harmony in the kitchen.
I wish the above words * * * to encourage my readers.
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