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In the dream, those flowers, those beautiful scenery that were once within reach, and my mother’s beautiful face, gradually blurred and disappeared bit by bit, until all that was left in front of me was nothing. Endless darkness. When I wake up from the dream, there is still eternal night in front of me. The world has disappeared from me, leaving no trace behind. It should be eight o'clock in the morning now. According to my mother, the piggy alarm clock placed on my bedside table will wake me up at eight o'clock every morning. I slowly groped my way to the window. It's probably going to be nice weather again today. The sun felt warm on my body, and there were cute birds chirping outside the window. I tried my best to calm myself down and feel more of the birds singing and the fragrance of flowers this spring, but I still couldn't help but shudder. Maybe it was the completely black world in front of me that made me feel hollow and cold! My mother also told me to come to this window to bask in the sun every morning after getting up at eight o'clock in the morning. I heard that at eight o'clock in the morning, the sun will shine directly in from this window. At this time, the sunlight is the warmest and can even be warm. Cure my illness. How is this possible? This must be my mother's simple and beautiful wish that cannot be realized.
I often imagine this world as a miniature universe. Everyone has their own planet. They are close to each other but repel each other; and me, hey, what am I? I should be that black hole, cold and lonely.
Before that car accident, I had a very warm home. A serious but loving father, a nagging but virtuous mother, and a naughty but sensible me. This is my everything, yes, all my joy, all my happiness. But all of this changed drastically because of that car accident. My father left quietly due to excessive blood loss when I was in a coma, without leaving a word. Although my mother barely survived, I heard from the doctor's uncle that she probably wouldn't be able to survive much longer. And I, I actually He survived under the protection of his parents, but due to the violent collision his brain suffered at that time, his optic nerve was severely damaged and he was likely to lose his sight. But now, this "possibility" has already become an unchangeable fact! Although the driver who caused the accident gave me a large amount of compensation, can he give me a complete home? ! Even my mother, who finally survived, stopped breathing at that moment!
What meaning does this world have to me!
One day after the car accident, I suddenly heard someone calling my name outside the room. The voice was so kind, so warm, yet so strange. I panicked and ran around the room, knocking over so many things and hitting the wall so many times, that I finally found a corner in my darkness. I squatted down obscenely, hugged my knees with my hands, and buried my head deep between my knees. My whole body was trembling with fear. When the people outside the room heard the panic in the room, the knock on the door became more urgent. , they still kept calling: "Yuyou, what's wrong with you, Yoyo? Yoyo, be obedient, be good, open the door for your uncle and aunt quickly. Yoyo, don't be afraid! We are here to take you home!" Go home? Oh! I couldn't help but sneer, my home had already been destroyed in that car accident, what other home could I go back to? The current home is just an empty shell! I remained silent and didn't give them an answer. The people outside the room obviously couldn't wait any longer. With a "bang" sound, the door was kicked open. When I heard the sound of them rushing in, I stood up slowly and said coldly: "No way." Thinking that the quality of this door is so poor, why didn't you notice it before? "As I said that, I groped and walked in the opposite direction from where they came, even though I knew that in this small room, I was blind. There is absolutely no way to escape from people, but I wish I could stay as far away from them as possible, even if it is just a millimeter away. I heard the sound of high heels walking towards me, and a gentle female voice said: "Yuyou, listen to auntie and come back with us. Since your mother handed you over to us, we will definitely not If you live up to her hopes, you will be our child from today on. As for the name, it’s up to you, okay? Come on!” As soon as Auntie finished speaking, she took my hand and led me away carefully. After leaving the house, we came to the place we now call home. Somehow, when I hear that aunt's voice, I become surprisingly quiet. It feels like it's my mother.
My aunt took me to my room and told me that everything in this room was designed exactly according to my mother’s wishes, and the lighting effect of this window was really good, especially It was eight o'clock in the morning, and the sun would shine directly in through this window... All of this was what my mother could think of before she died. I couldn't listen anymore, so I covered my ears and burst into tears.
It was Chinese New Year less than three days after I moved to this home. On the day I turned 30, the house was always filled with joyful laughter and busy footsteps. My aunt asked me to stay in the room obediently, for fear that the naughty children outside the room would knock me down. After eating the meaningless New Year's Eve dinner with my so-called relatives, I groped my way back to my room and locked the door behind me. The stereo in the room was still playing and singing, and now it was playing an extremely sad song - "Black Sunday". This disc was specially burned by my aunt for me. It contains all my favorite songs, including this one. My aunt even argued with me about this because she was afraid that I would react badly after hearing this extremely miserable song. take things too hard.
Listening to this song now, I suddenly felt very intimate and moved by the story hidden in this song: the death of his lover buried his love and swallowed up his faith, and he was willing to follow her hearse... ...My already dry eyes are now bursting with tears because of it. Not long after, the sound of fireworks bursting out one after another came from the window. I really envy them. They can spend their short life to perform their beauty to the extreme for the world to watch, but I can only hold on to what is in front of me blankly. In this darkness, I never dared to hope that anyone would be willing to approach me, but I always felt a vague warmth around me.
At that time I didn’t want to hear anything anyone said, and I was scared and in a lot of pain. I can't even find someone I trust to talk to, it's like I'm the only one left in the world. I have become accustomed to locking myself in an empty room, listening to the darkness singing all the prosperity, counting the elapsed time over and over again, living in my world of nothingness.
My aunt was afraid that I would miss my studies due to blindness, so she spent a lot of money to hire a tutor for me, but in the end she left in anger because of my violence. I laughed wildly: Can this make me thank you and surrender to you? How is that possible!
Later, I can’t remember how much time passed. My aunt knocked on my door and brought me a bunch of very heavy things, but I yelled at her to get out. Angry that she had intruded into my world without my permission, my aunt hurriedly apologized and left my room. The world finally returned to peace. I reached out curiously and touched what my aunt sent me. It was a box, very big. If I touched the flower correctly, the silky ribbon on the box should be a tied bow. After I opened the package with a sneer, a woody fragrance suddenly hit my nostrils. This is exactly the smell I like - fresh. I was immediately panicked and didn't know what to do, but I soon regained my composure: it was just If one of my preferences is known to her, what does that mean? I wanted to see what other tricks she could play, so I followed the box and took out all the things inside. It turned out that they were mostly useless wooden boards. I couldn't help but sneer: It's just some boards, is it necessary? Mysterious? When I continued to touch it, I was completely stunned. There are uneven writings on the thin board! It took me a long time to finally figure out that the content on the board I turned to was actually from the textbook! sky! What is aunt doing? ! Could it be that these "wooden books" packed in a box one after another were all carved out stroke by stroke by the aunt with great painstaking efforts? Could it be...I have no time to think about it anymore. I stumbled out of the room and ran towards my aunt's room, but I heard my uncle's angry voice: "Yuyou only had a birthday, and you gave her such a special gift with such a thankless effort. It's also because the carving hand is worn out. Let's not talk about it for now. How long has she ever accepted your kindness to her? You just gave her something with good intentions, but she still got angry with you. You said You are really...sigh!" "But Youyou is really a good child. She just can't accept the fact because of family changes, so she doesn't want anyone to get close to her. She needs to get a warm home again, she..." Before Auntie could finish speaking, I was already bursting into tears. I ran towards Auntie in the direction of the sound, but the moment I met Auntie, I stopped. I hesitated: I once brought a baby to Auntie. After so much harm, what face do I have to face her now? I shook my head helplessly and turned around to leave. At that moment, a warm embrace surrounded me from behind. I couldn't help it anymore, turned around and threw myself into that long-lost embrace, crying loudly: "Auntie, I... I was wrong, I shouldn't be like that, I... ugh..." Auntie gently stroked my messy hair and said, "Auntie doesn't blame you, as long as you don't close yourself up in the future. , Youyou just need to listen to Auntie and live happily, understand?" I finally couldn't help shouting: "Mom!" Auntie was stunned, and it took her a long time to come back to her senses: "Yeah! "Good boy!" I seemed to see my aunt, no, my mother, looking at me lovingly and smiling at me.
Today, I stood next to this window that gave me plenty of sunlight. A year ago, through the sunshine, I felt the love of my deceased mother, and that love was sandwiched in my infinite condolences; a year later, under the same sunshine, what I felt was the love of two mothers. Love, another love melts into bits and pieces and is injected into my life forever.
It’s another year, but spring is blooming.
Mom, I will always love you, I will always love you!