Say it happily and funny.
2. I play too much on the computer and want to fast-forward watching TV.
3. When winter came, I washed the quilt carelessly.
4. A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.
5. Cover up sadness, loneliness and sighs, and the first experience of love.
6. There are so many beauties in the country that countless mistresses commit lewd acts.
7, underwear is like knowledge, invisible, but very important.
8. In the current weather, instant noodles can be directly soaked in tap water.
9. I don't know what's good about you, but I just want to see you take a bath.
1. I love you not just by saying, but for life.
11. There is only one day left in the National Day. It's time to get ready for the New Year!
12. I asked the electric fan if I was ugly today, and it shook its head all afternoon!
13, joking is ok. First, don't cross the line, and second, don't poke people where it hurts.
14. The most painful thing in the world is waking up after a good sleep.
15. Don't call me a light bulb in the future, but the brightest star in the night sky.
16. Look at you. You look like you're joking!
17. Smart people are unmarried, and it is difficult for married people to be smart again!
18. For Russia, the happiest thing is that they go shopping hand in hand.
19. Take out your complaints and bask in the sun every day, so that you won't be short of calcium.
2. The real fate is not the arrangement of heaven, but your initiative.
21. Wear the most beautiful wedding dress at the right age and marry the safest person.
22. Just looking at you one more time in the crowd makes you think I want to take a taxi.
23. I'm not the kind of person who hits someone when he's down. I just sealed the well.
24. I cry because you love me too much, and I smile because you care about me too much.
25. Many things are between not saying that you are wronged and saying that you are melodramatic.
26. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!
27. At first glance, you are not so good, but at second glance, it is better to have a fierce look.
28. God has given us acne as well as youth.
29. Listen, I have my attitude, and it's not your turn to say I failed.
3. Commitment is like farting. It was earth-shattering at that time, and then it was pale and powerless.
31. You chased me, which made me give up my motivation to get married and have an attempt to return to the common customs.
32. I don't believe in eternal love, because I will only love you more every day.
33. The score of each subject is closely related to the appearance of teachers in each subject!
34. Fat people are all eaten in one bite. Do you think anyone can reach the sky in one step?
35. I wake up every morning with a handsome hairstyle, either Saiyan or Altman.
36. Boys are strong to express themselves, while girls are strong to protect themselves.
37. Don't look at me with innocent eyes like a puppy, it will make me want to eat dog meat.
38. Girl, hold my hand. Say all the sad things and come with me.
39. Actually, I am a mental derangement, and I have been lurking in the normal world for many years.
4. Those women who can't unscrew the bottle cap are all pretending. Please ask her to open a courier and try it.
41. Don't think that a girl can tempt me just because she is beautiful, at least she is stupid enough!
42. Doctor, what symptoms do I have when I see my homework?
43. Every time I send out a new book, my first reaction is to turn to the last page to see if there is an answer.
44. Actually, your nagging was the happiest time in my life, but I didn't know it.
45. Break up. Why don't you add more salt because your feelings are weak?
46. Buddha said: The sea of suffering is boundless, and you turn back to the shore. I said: there is no side, where did you come back?
47. What gifts will you receive on National Day? I will receive a month's new traffic!
48. You are the one who pushed me and told me to refuel, and you are the one who hugged me and let me do without hard support.
49. I like to eat when I am unhappy, and I get fat when I eat, and I am unhappy when I get fat.
5. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, occupying a good tomb after death can make up for the regret that you couldn't afford a good house before your death.
51. I want a steady score, can resist the cruelty of exams, and have a home in a pile of students.
52. When someone asks me what happiness is, I tell them that happiness means that the person I love smiles at me.
53. The most painful thing in life is that after experiencing the super storm, not only did you not see the rainbow, but you also caught a cold.
54. I wish you a happy summer: Pepsi-Cola mirinda, very cola iced tea, Coca-Cola Wahaha.
55. With such a strong wind, girl, my hair is really in all kinds of postures, swings, surges and waves.
56. When you see this question, you think of someone in your heart, so congratulations, you already like her.
57. Every time I want to find someone to accompany me, I find that some people can't find it, some people shouldn't, and some people can't.
58. I firmly believe that you will never walk out of the Yuan Ye in my heart, even if you walk through the thousands of waters in Qian Shan and day and night.
59. I miss you every day, miss you at night, dream about you, look at you in my eyes, hold you in my hand, and love you in my heart!
6. What is April Fool's Day confession? Tomb-Sweeping Day's confession is king, because if you fail, you will say that you are possessed by a ghost!
61. If you are willing to open my homework layer by layer, you will be surprised that this page is not written and that page is not written.
62. Some songs fall in love after listening to the prelude, some people like it at first sight, and some homework doesn't want to be done after opening the first page.
63. People who used to say "Let's talk about it after the New Year" as their mantra will talk about it after the New Year. It's just after the New Year. .
64. I feel that Li Shimin is so stupid. If he hadn't sent the Tang Priest to fetch the scriptures, he would have eaten him. We are still in the heyday of the Tang Dynasty!
65. Yao Jiaxin was sentenced to death in the first instance. After watching the news, the boss told us earnestly, see, that's what happens when you want a raise.
66. Tang Priest wishes you a happy life, Wukong wishes you good health and Friar Sand wishes you good luck. Bajie, don't you know what you want to say?
67. You don't learn so many weapons in China, but you prefer to learn swords. If you go up to the sword, you don't learn to go down; There are so many moves in the sword, you learn to drunk the sword; If you don't learn iron sword, learn silver sword.
68. In the Chinese exam, I always feel that I am British; in the English exam, I feel that I am from China; in the math exam, I find myself an alien.
69. I've been working outdoors recently, and I've got a tan. I went to the supermarket to buy some whitening skin care products, and the salesman even praised me: Your Chinese is really good.
7. Eating a handful of candy, leading Kojiro, carrying a big schoolbag, and squeezing the car to school. Adults love fashion, children have a heavy burden, more bus bags, and less short skirts!
71. Install traffic lights at intersections to direct cars and old people. Cars are running around the street, and my aunt is trembling with fear. I advise you to be a watchman, not for your children and grandchildren.
72. M: The world is so big, why hold on to me? You have your life, I have my freedom, and letting go is true. Salesgirl: Why do you want to leave when you take something?
73. I long for love. A person's smile is printed in their eyes, and a tear is appreciated by two hearts. If the fate of this life is predestined, I would like to switch a sincerity with one.
74. Love turns a thousand times in my heart. I want to see you again. Let me know that your heart also feels that our love has not been in vain. You and I still miss it deeply until the last day of our lives!
75. It's been a lot of twists and turns for us to develop to this day. There may be more tests waiting for us, but I only know one thing, I love you, and I just want to be with you forever!
76. Doctor: Why can't I find my pen? I want to give you a prescription. The patient quietly reminded: doctor, didn't you put it in my armpit!
77. Reporter: Grandpa, you are over eighty, and you still call your wife dear. How do you do that? Grandpa: Don't mention it, I forgot her name long ago, and I dare not ask
78. Loving you is a kind of happiness, thinking of you is a kind of happiness, waiting for you is a test, thinking of you is a habit, loving you is a kind of treasure, kissing you is a kind of tenderness, watching you is a kind of enjoyment and hugging you is a kind of romance.
79. If I burn incense for one year, I can meet you, I can get to know you for three years, and I can cherish you for ten years. For the happiness of my next life, I am willing to convert to Christianity!
8. Last night, I dreamed that God said I could have one wish. I took out my globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change it. I said I wanted to be beautiful. He pondered and said I would take a look at it again.
81. In English class, the teacher asked what word followed the verb? Xiaoming stood up with great excitement and shouted: It's typing, verb typing, verb typing. The boundless horizon is my beloved teacher: get out
82. My boyfriend said to her: I dreamed of you last night, and my underwear got wet in the morning. She shyly asked her boyfriend: What did you dream about? Boyfriend replied: I dreamed that you took off your makeup and scared me to pee!
83. Waiting for the bus at the station, I heard two old people talking. My eldest son asked me to live in Beijing and my second son asked me to live in Hong Kong. You are so happy that both sons are so filial. The eldest son is in Hong Kong and the second son is in Beijing. Funny talk
1. In an ice cream shop, the waiter brought a glass of lemonade and asked, What would you like to eat, sir? I took a sip of water, opened the menu, looked up and asked her: Is there a Daoxiao Noodles? First she looked surprised, and then she said rudely, this is not a Shanxi noodle restaurant! I laughed and said, sorry, I went to the wrong store. After that, I came out, feeling less thirsty than before.
2. Passerby: How much is the insole? Auntie: 5 yuan. Passerby: Let me see. Auntie: I made them all myself. Look at this stitch. Passerby: Do you want to sell it for 3 yuan? Auntie: If you don't sell it, you can't even get in at this price!
3. Remember that when we first entered junior high school, none of us were familiar with our teachers. Once in a math class, the teacher wanted a classmate to do a problem on the blackboard, but he forgot his name. It happened that the classmate was very fat. Our teacher pointed to the child and made him cry. Come and do this problem.
4. I love to sleep in primary school. Once a Chinese teacher assigned homework to write a composition entitled "If I were a spider". After class, I asked my classmates, racked my brains at home at night and wrote a sensational "If I were a pig". Later, I got angry at school
5. Today, in the office, a colleague was crawling on her desk with a sad face. I went forward to ask what happened. Is it uncomfortable there? My colleague sighed and said, My sister is going to have a baby soon. Me: What are you sad about your sister having a baby? Colleague A: After her child was born, I was a veritable aunt! ! !
6. Today, I saw a classmate looking at the sky with a mobile phone on the balcony. What did I ask him to look at? He said he was waiting for the plane. I said you couldn't get on the plane. He said: when the plane flies over my head, I can chat with the flight attendant on WeChat. I only want to draw up Ma Benteng's past in my mind. How much more is this!
7. My friend rode me on an electric car and told me to shoot the P shares of the sister paper in front. After filming, we accelerated our escape. Later, I filmed it, but my friend stopped and said to me, What are you doing? The world was quiet
Eight or thirty years later, Jimmy Lin got on the bus and swiped his old-age card, but the driver drove him down. In tears, someone patted him on the shoulder: Use my old-age card. He looked up and almost lost his voice: Degang! The other person put his forefinger in front of his mouth: shh, I'm his son.
9. When I was in college, I went to the Internet cafe for a night. About 12 o'clock, the school leaders came to check out the night. All the people in the internet cafe ran out, and all of them were arrested by the leaders. Only one buddy escaped. I will tell you that when the school leader entered the Internet cafe, he silently went to the corner and took a broom to sweep the floor there.
1. Some drift bottles were lost in the mailbox. Contents: I'm Xiaoqian, the minister, and I'm an aunt, and I feel quite good. I received a reply from a great god: Bajie, I am a master
11. She wears a rockhopper, and she is beautiful as a flower. She plays piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, and she is absolutely charming. She is clever, and she is beautiful. She is very beautiful, and her admirers become forest. She is beautiful in Leng Yan, and she is in a dilemma. She's chinese odyssey, and she's in the limelight. She is tolerant of those who have wronged her, and she tries to persuade the world to be unfair. She woke up and remembered that the bowl had not been rinsed last night, so she dared to run to the kitchen.
12. Yesterday, a student came to school without washing his face, so I sent him home. Good idea, he must have come to school clean today! No, the whole class stopped washing their faces today.
13. Two days ago, a friend took Xiong Haizi, who was in primary school, to my house, turned my house upside down, and tore down my precious Transformers everywhere. So before I left, I gave his parents my elementary school Olympiad Maths problem set that I had treasured for many years.
14. I took my husband and daughter shopping today, and my daughter walked in the middle. Suddenly holding our hands, I sang a chicken in my left hand and a duck in my right hand. Before I knew it, my husband added that there was a toad in the middle, and he was still coaxing his daughter.
15. Going out for a walk is always a struggle. Look up and go, for fear that you won't get the money; Let's go with our heads down, for fear that we won't see any beautiful women. Then nod your head and go.
16. Our class climbed a mountain in the suburbs in the morning. When we were approaching the top of the mountain, the head teacher asked: Which classmate runs fastest? Me. The particularly naughty roommate replied. The head teacher said: Very well, the camera is still in the car, please go down and get it.
17. When a friend sells prepaid cards online, he always waits for the trading platform to show that the buyer has paid, and then recharges the other party's phone. On this day, he told me that he had been cheated. I wondered, after all the money had been paid, could he still be cheated? He said: that person's screen name is that the buyer has paid, and I didn't read it carefully, so I charged it.
18. An old man said to his friend, I am so lonely! In this world, I have no other relatives except a puppy. The friend said sympathetically, then you can have another puppy!
19. A friend and her sister were eating in a restaurant, and their hands were stained with oil. They wanted to take out the paper and wipe it, so they took out a pack of sanitary napkins. Who knows that she didn't find it wrong and tore it open. Her friend got up and quickly went to the opposite side to grab it, fearing how embarrassing it would be to be seen. As a result, this sister was not aware of the situation, so she shouted when she came to grab it ~ suddenly attracted the attention of the whole restaurant! There are two waiters right away.