Kuaishou’s funny and inspirational jokes

Jokes mostly reveal the perverse phenomena in life and are ironic and entertaining. There are different levels of interest. Next is the "Kuaishou Funny and Inspiring Jokes" that I carefully prepared for you, welcome to watch!

Kuaishou's Funny and Inspiring Jokes (Popular)

1. Come on, junior high school chemistry teacher Stop to refuel your motorcycle. After filling up the tank, I wanted to smoke a cigarette, so I took out the cigarette and put it in my mouth before leaving the gas station. Just as he was preparing to order, the waiter came over and said to him with a smile on his face: "You are looking for death."

2. Meow star's melancholy rose bath! (*^__^*)

3. A buddy said that his idea of ​​a good car is that if you drive out and hit four cars in a row, your car will be called a good car if nothing happens to it. Someone replied: "That's a bulldozer." Someone later added: "You can consider bumpers and tie a Nokia around."

4. My son is two and a half years old, and my mother took him out to play on the street today. , I met a former colleague. My mother greeted her politely and said, "Long time no see. You are getting younger and younger as you live. How old are you this year?" The colleague smiled and said, "Young is nothing to me. It’s almost time to run five.” He teased his son and asked kindly: “Baby, how old are you?” The son thought for a moment and said, “It’s already time to run three!”

5. Leader: Why didn’t you report this in advance? Me: I called. Leader: I answer so many calls every day? You should send me an email! Me: I have sent an email. Leader: There are so many emails every day that I can’t read them at all. Can't you come and report to me? Me: You're not in the office. Leader: Do I have to report to you wherever I go? I think your attitude is very bad! Me: I can't afford to hurt such a leader!

6. One day when I was shopping, I said to my cute best friend: Come with me to IKEA later. She immediately replied to me: Is it your aunt’s house or your second aunt’s house? What if I go to you? Forget it, my aunt’s house is too fierce!

7. My cousin works in other places and takes the train back to his hometown. As soon as I got on the bus, I saw a buddy sitting in his seat, so I politely said, "Brother, this is my seat. Unexpectedly, this guy looked at the ticket and then his own seat number, and got furious, you are blind, you have eyes." without. My cousin looked at him sadly and said nothing. After waiting for two stops, he saw that the guy was about to fall asleep. He gently patted him awake and said leisurely, Brother, you seem to have taken the wrong train...

8. No matter how smart a mobile phone is, no matter how high-configuration a computer is, it can’t be as interesting as a lively, cute, pretty girlfriend who can run, adjust, talk, and laugh!

9. Singles' Day is coming soon. As a sophomore who has never celebrated Valentine's Day or Singles' Day, I feel very anxious. My classmates have been helping me look for junior students. After meeting a junior student who is 180cm tall, Never heard from again. According to a classmate, when asked about his impression of his senior sister afterwards, he implicitly said: Senior sister knows too much? Knows too much? I understand nmlgb...

10. Then I would take a taxi at Xi'an Railway Station , I went to a friend’s school. My friend told me that it would be 23 yuan. I got in the car and he drove. I walked for a long time. When I looked at the watch, it jumped to more than 60 yuan. I kept silent. Finally, it was more than 70 yuan. , I asked the driver: Have you ever seen Superman? The driver looked at me doubtfully, I calmly said that I was, and ran away as soon as I opened the door. . .

Kuaishou’s funny and inspirational jokes (classics)

1. Now I realize how important it is to have a well-spoken mother? In the past two days in the hospital, the aunt and the nurse Chatting, talking about the nurse as my daughter-in-law

2. It has been a year since I broke up with my ex, and I couldn’t help but go downstairs to her again today. When the wifi automatically linked to her home, I burst into tears. It rains. . Then click on Thunder. . .

3. It’s snowing, freshman status: Wow, it’s snowing at school, so happy? Sophomore status: It’s snowing so early this year, freezing to death? Junior status: Being beaten by all kinds of things The snow status is all over the screen, isn’t it just snowing? Senior status: It’s snowing, and I still have to go to a job interview in the cold wind? Graduate status: I heard it snowed at my alma mater, I miss it so much?

4. In the finance school entrance exam, one of the questions is: Please write down three institutions that can lend money. A teacher burst into laughter after correcting a certain candidate's test paper. The candidate’s answer was: bank, credit union, parents.

5. One day Li Bai swam to Mount Emei, the moon was shining brightly, and he immediately sang: "The half-moon in Mount Emei is full of autumn, and the shadows are reflected in the water of Pingqiang River. At night, the clear stream flows to the Three Gorges, and I miss you. Yuzhou." As soon as he finished speaking, bursts of laughter came from the distance, and Li Bai was annoyed, "Who are you laughing at? I don't think it's offensive, but please give me advice." At this time, a man stepped forward and said with a gentle smile: "Drop your life. , it’s a chop, it’s a stab. "

6. When I was at work, I suddenly remembered that I gave my three-year-old daughter a lesson. I called back to comfort him. The call was connected and it was my daughter who answered. There was also the sound of cartoons next to it, probably because I was watching TV with my grandma. So, I asked knowingly: "Baby, I'm dad, what are you doing?" After the daughter was silent for two seconds: "Here, your son's phone number!"

7. The husband said to his wife with emotion. : "After so many years, no one in our family can replace you!" My wife asked angrily: "Be honest, how many people have you found to replace me over the years?"

8. Today's friend Let me tell you some news. My friend’s family has a strange husky, a special kind. It has been eyeing the fish in the fish tank at home. In order to eat the fish, one day, while the owner was not at home, he spent two hours clearing the fish tank. After drinking all the water in the room, when the owner came back, the two guys were lying on the floor, vomiting and having diarrhea. . .

9. Di Renjie and Yuan Fang set up tents and camped on the hillside! At night, Di Renjie woke up and woke Yuan Fang with his elbow: Yuan Fang, look! What is there in the sky? Yuan Fang: A bright moon! Di Renjie: What do you think about this? Yuan Fang thought for a moment and then said: Well, the moonlight is nice, there are no stars, it should be cloudy tomorrow! Di Renjie: Idiot! Our tent was stolen! Bao Zheng: Don’t be surprised, the tent is still there Here! It’s me...

10. The checkout for the meal was 75 yuan. I searched my pocket and only had 50 yuan in change, so I gave the boss 100 yuan. The boss asked me for 25, and when I put it in my pocket, my brain twitched. Call the boss: Boss, come here. I have 750. Give me the 100. . . The climax was when the boss actually returned the 100 to me and said that I should have told me if I had any change. . .

Kuaishou’s funny and inspirational jokes (selected articles)

1. At about 12 o’clock last night, I was sleeping soundly when I received a call on my mobile phone. I answered it helplessly. I was confused. When she said "Who is it?", she said, "I'm in the toilet, please bring me some toilet paper." I said, "It's too late today, let's do it tomorrow." Then I hung up. When I woke up in the morning, I was abused by my roommate. . .

2. Yesterday I picked up an iPhone 4S in the park. When I saw the photo in the album, it turned out to be a beautiful woman, so I decided to return the phone to her. We met at the park. When we were almost there, I used her phone to compile I sent a message "I'm pregnant" to all her friends on her mobile phone. After giving her the mobile phone, I immediately disappeared, hiding my merit and fame?

3. Eating in the cafeteria, beside me There was a young couple sitting, who looked like they had just talked for a while~~~ After eating and preparing to leave, the man pointed to the table and a bottle of water he had just bought and said to the woman: Take this water! The woman said: Take it ! The man said: You hold it! The woman said: You hold it! The man said: You hold it! The woman exploded: I asked you to hold it for me!

4. When I was in high school, the director caught someone in the boys’ dormitory using binoculars to peek into the girls’ dormitory, and he became furious. The entire school conducted a surprise inspection of the male and female dormitories in the afternoon. Results: 23 telescopes were found in the boys' dormitory and 41 in the girls' dormitory. 6 of them were split into single tubes?

5. I chatted with my dad and helped him deal with computer problems, so I used remote access, but it was not turned off later.

I told my dad, "Dad, I want to buy a pad to read books." So I saw my dad typing: "How much does it cost?" Then he deleted it word by word and replaced it with another sentence: "Buy it."

6. A certain hotel keeps a parrot hanging at the door, and says when guests arrive: "Hello, welcome!" A regular guest thought: I'll come in quickly and see how you react. One day he "sneered" He ran in, and the parrot said: "His grandma's! It scared me!!!"

7. The middle school mathematics teacher is named Yu Wentian. One day, a classmate called him "Teacher Yu". He probably didn't know that there was such a thing as a compound surname. The teacher said awkwardly, "Classmate, my surname is Yuwen, please call me Teacher Yuwen." The classmate was stunned for a second and said, "But you" He's a math teacher!

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9. One day, the son came back and said to his father: "Dad, some people say that I am a straw bag." "What? They actually said that my son is a straw bag. "Hmph! His son is a straw bag! Moreover, his son is the biggest straw bag in the world!" The son's father then said, "Huh! Which guy said you are a straw bag?" the son replied. : "My grandpa!"

10. I took my five-year-old brother to watch a movie, and suddenly a scene of the male and female protagonists making out appeared on the screen; they threw their clothes under the bed one by one. I nervously turned my head to see my brother's reaction, but the situation was not as bad as I thought. The younger brother was unconvinced and said: ?Brother! Why can they throw clothes away but I can’t?

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