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Funny sketch script-Examination Crazy--Yun (campus sketch)
Author: Anonymous Source of article: Original number of clicks on this site: 5700 Update time: 2005-12-30
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Characters: Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling, teacher
Scene: Classroom This article is reproduced from www.coffbar.com, www.coffbar.com skit script, resume template resume cover
Content:
Xiao Ling is sleeping on the table.
Xiao Ai left the book beside him and went out.
Xiao Wu came in and sat in Xiao Ai's seat.
Xiao Ai (comes in): Oh, man, this is really baffling. Are you kidding me? Don’t you see, I’ve already taken this seat!
Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding, and Mao is Mao. In fact, I got it earlier than you!
Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning, why didn’t I see you?
Xiao Wu: I took it last night.
Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I got up early every day, scratched my head, and my blood was flowing. I couldn’t lose this position!
Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. The Feng Shui here is unique. If you want to drive me away from here (Xiao Ai: - How?) I advise you to pull me down as soon as possible!
Xiao Ling woke up: Why are you making noise?
Having a quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning is a waste of youth!
Do you know what mistakes you made? ah?
Xiao Ai: I know.
Xiao Wu: We won’t argue anymore.
Xiao Ling: The most unforgivable thing about you is that you woke me up!
Xiao Ai sat in front of Xiao Ling.
Xiao Ai: The last word is to carry forward the style. Brother, follow my lead in the exam!
Xiao Wu: Huh? Is there an exam today?
Xiao Ling: Can you? My hands are numb today!
Xiao Ai: Are you scared?
Xiao Wu: Are you sleeping?
Xiao Ling: None of them are right! Tired of fighting grass!
Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent most of the night lighting the lamp and burning oil!
Xiao Wu: Oh, are you studying hard?
Xiaoling: Do you also fight grass?
Xiao Ai: Oh no, I’m thinking about exam strategies!
Xiao Wu and Xiao Ling came over: What are you thinking of?
Xiao Ai laughed wildly: Let me tell you, this trick is amazing!
Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling: Come on!
Xiao Ai: Copy according to the book - (pick up the book)
Xiao Ling: Go to hell!
Xiao Wu: That’s a good idea! Why didn't I think of that?
Xiao Ling: Come on. You call this a trick?
Hey, in order to relieve the tense atmosphere, I will give you a humorous puzzle.
Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu ignored her.
Xiao Ling: Tell me, how many steps are there to answer the exam?
Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu approached: How many steps?
Xiao Ling: Three steps!
Step one: write your name. (Both of them nodded)
Step 2: Read the question again! (Both of them nodded)
Step three: - hand over the rolling paper!
Xiao Ai: Hand in blank!
Xiao Wu: What’s wrong?
Xiao Ling: Let me ask you another question: There is an exam today, who didn’t come?
Xiao Ai: Who can’t come to the exam today? Xiaoling?
Xiao Ling: I’m not here!
Xiao Ai: Look around, Xiao Wu?
Xiao Wu: Here you are!
Xiao Ai: Ah! I know—Xiao Ai!
Xiao Wu: You came here in vain! There is no difference between coming or not coming!
Xiao Ling: Answer, teacher! Not here yet!
The teacher walked in.
The three of them were startled: Are you here? Why did you come even though you said you couldn’t come? oops! (Noisy)
Teacher: What is it called? The toad has come in?
The three of them laughed.
Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? --Fraction! Minute by minute, your lifeblood! (Evil smile) Test, test, test, our magic weapon!
Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, copy, our trick!
Teacher: Hand out rolling papers quickly! Don’t come early even if you have an exam, what time is it already! I didn’t come until half an hour after the exam started! What have you been doing?
Hair curls.
Teacher: The exam lasts for *** two hours! No papers are allowed to be handed in for less than one hour! Students who want to answer the paper please pick up the pen, and students who do not want to answer the paper please rest where they are. Students who want to go to the toilet - please restrain yourself!
Xiao Ai: Let me compare the teacher,
He is like a mouse looking for a cat to be an escort - the request is unreasonable!
Xiao Ling: That’s right! Could it be that he is a legendary rapper, otherwise why would he keep mumbling?
Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than trees! Do you know what a serious mistake you have made? Heavier than the sea of salt!
Three people started copying.
Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) This student, please stop copying!
Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling: I didn’t copy it!
The teacher walked up to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying!
Xiao Ai: How do you know? I put it on the table and copied it!
Teacher: The board in front of your desk fell off, I saw it!
Xiao Ai: (looked at it) Oops! What bad luck!
The teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's rolling paper, and Xiao Ai was about to stand up and walk.
Teacher: Sit down! You are not allowed to go out for less than an hour!
The teacher walked to Xiao Wu, and Xiao Wu took the roll of paper to the table and copied it.
Teacher: Okay, okay, stop pretending!
I look down upon those of you who cheat with books, as you have no technical content at all.
How did you copy it just now? so? so?
Xiao Wu: Lower and lower!
Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu’s paper) Sit down and reflect, why did you cheat with the book?
Xiao Wu: I don’t want to take the book either! Why didn't I do a good job like her (Xiaoling)?
Xiao Ling looked at Xiao Wu with wide eyes.
Teacher: That’s right, remember to hit the grass next time! I just like this kind of hard-working children.
Teacher: It’s time! carry out an assignment.
Put away the roll paper.
Teacher: OK. Remember to take the high school math test in the afternoon! (Part 2)
Xiao Ai: Ah! Are you taking the high school math test in the afternoon?
Xiao Ling: Ah! ! High school math test in the afternoon! (Picks up the grass) What did you test just now?
Xiao Wu: High... number? ! What tree is that?
Three people: Let’s study how to kill grass!
The teacher walks in (each teacher can be played by one person in costume).
Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher!
Teacher: Xiao Ai, how do you write a composition! (Give the roll of paper to Xiao Ai)
Xiao Ai: What’s wrong?
Teacher: Read it.
Xiao Ai: "My Teacher", my teacher has an oval face...
Teacher: Wait, (take out a big sign with claws written on it) Are you a melon with an oval face? What you wrote is that my teacher has a clawed face!
Xiao Ai: Teacher, the paw face is also a face, can’t we just look at it?
Teacher: You continue reading.
Xiao Ai: My teacher is so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful...
Teacher: Stop! Why do you write so much about how beautiful it is? That’s how I wrote it until the end!
Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn’t it required that the composition should be no less than 500 words?
Teacher: Then you only take beautiful photos?
Xiao Ai: Isn’t it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings!
Teacher: Hum hum, tell you, you only have 496 words!
Xiao Ai: Oh! Then I’d like to add: It’s so beautiful!
Teacher: Look at your translation of ancient Chinese. How did you translate death by touching a locust tree?
Xiao Ai: Find an old locust tree and hang yourself!
Teacher: Why is it an old locust tree? Look, when you explain words and death, you actually write about death!
Xiao Ai: Oh, I wanted to write about death!
Teacher: (with a helpless look) You, you failed again!
Xiao Ai: Give me another chance! I've retaken it five times!
Teacher: Okay, I'll give you a chance. I've heard that phlegm can relieve oxen, and it's easy, right? You make up a sentence using the word "easily done", and I'll pass it to you!
Xiao Ai: There is a fish in the swimming blade? ! Fish... fish, fish swim in the water, fish can swim with ease...
Teacher: (laughing) Congratulations, you got——
Xiao Ai: Passed?
Teacher: (indifferently) The sixth opportunity to retake the course. (Part 2)
Xiao Ling, Xiao Wu: Forget it, let’s study advanced mathematics.
The teacher comes in.
Xiao Wu: Philosophy teacher!
Teacher: Xiao Wu!
Xiao Wu: Yes!
Teacher: Look at your rolling paper!
My question is: This is the question, please answer it.
How did you answer?
Xiao Wu: This is the answer, please give me points...isn’t it right?
Teacher: Do you call this a problem?
Teacher: You——Okay, next question,
Essay question: What is courage? Why didn’t you answer?
Xiao Wu: I answered!
Teacher: I just wrote five words!
Xiao Wu: (reading) This is courage! That’s right! Then I handed in the paper without answering the following questions. How well I explained courage!
Teacher: You-just wait and die!
Xiao Wu: Teacher! Give me another chance! I failed fifteen times!
Teacher: Then let me ask you two questions. It depends on your luck...
Xiao Wu: Two ways - too many!
Teacher: Okay, the first question is answered correctly! If you don't answer the second question, I'll let you pass. How many hairs do you have?
Xiao Wu: It would be nice if I were bald.
Teacher: Answer!
Xiao Wu: 123456789 roots!
Teacher: How do you know?
Xiao Wu: Teacher, I don’t have to answer the second question!
Teacher: OK! very good! very good! Take it (hand a piece of paper)
Xiao Wu: This is——
Teacher: Re-study! (Part 2)
Xiao Ling, Xiao Ai: Come and study advanced mathematics——
The teacher comes in.
Xiao Ling: English teacher! (wanting to run)
Teacher: Xiaoling, why are you running? Didn't have breakfast!
Xiao Ling: Didn’t eat——
Teacher: I saw you had eaten in the morning!
Xiao Ling: -Breakfast tomorrow!
Teacher: Xiaoling, look at the paper. None of your reading comprehension is correct! Did you just read the topic and choose it without even reading it?
Xiao Ling: No!
Teacher: How dare you quibble!
Xiao Ling: I didn’t even read the question, I just chose the answer!
Teacher: And your composition! Why does it look familiar?
Xiao Ling: Doesn’t it look familiar? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph...
Teacher: Xiaoling, it’s time for you to wake up! This time you——
Xiao Ling: Ah! Teacher, I have failed five, fifteen, no, fifty times! I can’t hang up anymore!
Teacher: It’s not that I didn’t teach you...this...for example, can you translate what evening dress means?
(To the audience) It’s an evening gown!
Xiao Ling looked at Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu.
Xiao Ai: Evening is at night, best for big games!
Xiao Wu: Dress is clothes, girls are always clamoring to buy them!
Xiao Ling: Oh! Teacher, I understand! It's night clothes!
The teacher shook his head. (Part 2)
Xiao Ling: No, I have to find a teacher! You two, study it slowly! (Part 2)
Xiao Ai: Forget it, the grass may not be of use, so I’m leaving.
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Xiao Wu: What should we do? Hand in blank?
Xiao Ai: Of course I can’t hand in a blank paper. I’m going to memorize the most difficult question now, write it on the paper, and answer it myself! (Part 2)
Xiao Wu: He has personality. (Just about to leave)
The teacher came in.
Xiao Wu: Class teacher!
Teacher: Xiao Wu, I want to talk to you.
Xiao Wu: Ah!
Teacher: This question was asked in the last exam: What is the principle of this reaction? What did you answer?
Xiao Wu:——Principles of physics.
Teacher: Is there such an answer?
Xiao Wu: Is it... a chemical principle?
Teacher: Xiao Wu! What will you do if you continue like this? Why don't you like studying?
Xiao Wu: ——You don’t like my major!
Teacher: Environmental worker? Do you know what an environmental engineer does?
Xiao Wu: Sanitation worker.
Teacher: It’s environmental engineering!
Xiao Wu: Oh? So what will I do after graduation?
Teacher: ...sanitation workers.
Xiao Wu: I heard it is for sewage treatment.
Teacher: (excited) Who said it was for sewage treatment? ——It also controls air pollution!
Xiao Wu: How to control the atmosphere?
Teacher: I don’t understand this! I teach water pollution treatment!
Xiao Wu: It’s still about sewage treatment.
Teacher: Has your mother seen your summer vacation results?
Xiao Wu: I saw it.
Teacher: Really? Did you really send it?
Xiao Wu: Of course I will send it!
Teacher: What did your mother tell you?
Xiao Wu: My mother said that if I have nothing to do, what report card will the school send?
Teacher: ...just go.
Xiao Wu: I can’t leave.
Teacher: Why?
Xiao Wu: The curtain call hasn’t come yet!
The four of them took the curtain call on the same stage.