Dry goods | Loneliness is the best time for a person to grow up
He said, are you lonely?
I'm lonely, I'm scared, and I feel I can't be happy,' she said. I wonder if love really exists.
For a long time, whenever I walked into a bookstore, a piece of "Six Talks on Loneliness" with white characters on a blue background was always placed in a conspicuous position. I have bought a lot of books, but I haven't aroused my desire to buy so many books before. It seems that I need karma with a book and I need to meet at the right time to generate strength.
A few days ago, I attended a party with some friends. The organizer suggested that everyone bring a book to share. On that day, I brought a book "Disqualification on Earth" by Osamu Dazai and "One's Fine Weather" by nanae Aoyama. That is, on that day, I saw the book Six Talks about Loneliness brought by another friend, so I chose this book that I haven't read for a long time.
When someone asked the writer Yates why he wrote so many sad and lonely characters, Yates replied, "Maybe people who are lonely because of sadness are more interesting than happy people. Loneliness doesn't just mean loneliness, I think it means being isolated from the mainstream of the world. "
There are many geniuses in the world who are lonely because their ideas are so strange that others can't understand them. But because of their paranoia, they have made great achievements in a field, bringing spiritual wealth to everyone, and some people have promoted the development of this society.
I liked to live alone when I was a teenager.
After coming home from school, I locked myself in my bedroom. Although the bedroom is simple, the enclosed bedroom space is like my own spiritual planet. There were not many ways of entertainment at that time. I do my homework, listen to music and read novels in my bedroom ... I am free and unfettered. It was not until mother cooked the meal that she lazily came out of the bedroom, ate a few mouthfuls of rice quickly and suddenly returned to her own world.
I don't like festivals, noisy and secular performances, deafening firecrackers and rich food. The more lively the festival is, the more I feel that the atmosphere of the festival reflects people's wandering in their destiny.
In life, I also don't want someone to dial a phone to bother me. When I am with many people, I always feel a sense of emptiness. I was in the forest, chatting and joking with people, but I was in a trance and didn't know where I was.
In this life, there will be various situations to face lonely moments. Go to a different place to study alone. Leave home and fight like wild animals in big cities. Spend your birthday alone. Colleagues who come and go at work I went to the hospital alone when I was sick. Loneliness in lovelorn. Late at night, standing on the side of the road, I saw the city full of lights, but I didn't have my own home.
I always think of a book I once read, The Stranger by Paul Yi. After the war, Asiana tried to get rid of the painful trauma and nightmare brought by past experiences. He trudged thousands of kilometers from America alone to a completely strange place, a seaside town in Brazil, where he became an apprentice to a Japanese tailor. In this new and unfamiliar environment, he started a new industry, learned a new language and adapted to a new life. He must spend those lonely years. To meet the beauty of life.
In fact, loneliness can bring us many benefits.
In today's urbanized society, it is difficult for people to face loneliness, and they dare not go back to their apartments alone. They always feel the need to spend those lonely times before going home. When you are really alone, all kinds of endless entertainment, all kinds of games, short videos, TV dramas or variety shows, and even all kinds of dating apps. These different forms of entertainment desperately occupy our "lonely time". And these various forms of entertainment are not very beneficial to our growth. It can't eliminate the huge and desolate loneliness and emptiness in our hearts.
Many times, being alone is just one of the few opportunities for our growth. We can study, keep fit, or do a sideline, learn a skill, or study a hobby, which may bring us unexpected achievements.
When a person begins to enjoy loneliness, he can talk to himself and think more. You can examine your own right and wrong that day. You can read your heart, think about what you really want in life and find your own direction in life.
Many artistic creations are also produced in loneliness. The creation of a painting, the writing of a novel ... they are all created in an extremely quiet state, and they are all facing loneliness.
Only works that have been precipitated by time and created with heart can have enough shocking power.
It is hard for me to imagine that a great artist can be a noisy person at the same time.
Loneliness makes people calm down and appreciate the world.
Mu Xin wrote a poem called "Once upon a time it was slow", in which he wrote that in the past, the sun turned slowly/cars and horses were slow/only enough to love someone for a lifetime.
This is an era of running fast, and everyone feels busy every day.
Pixar made a film "Soul" in 2020. When the protagonist Joey was a teenager, he dreamed of performing with a famous band and becoming a real musician, but when he really achieved this goal, he found that he was not as happy as he thought.
This era advocates buying a house and a car, achieving goals, achieving achievements and becoming so-called successful people.
Pixar, on the other hand, tells us through this film that life doesn't have to have much achievement, even if it doesn't, so what? On the contrary, the most regrettable thing is that you only think about success, but forget to enjoy life.
It is not too much to pursue fame and fortune, but we have been busy with society and live a fast-food life. Do we remember the beauty of life? Do you remember the blue sky and fresh air? Do you remember the taste of a good meal? How long has it been since you enjoyed a splendid firework with your heart and felt the waves of the sea with your feet?
I often travel alone, and people often ask, is it interesting to travel alone?
I thought about most of the journey. In a foreign country, in a strange place, a person flies with a huge suitcase, looks for a hotel, goes to a local scenic spot, strolls on the street or sits in a coffee shop. Not very talkative.
However, I just feel the atmosphere here, the lifestyle of people here, their communication and their smiles in a "silent" way.
In the process of traveling, sometimes on the train ahead, people are buzzing around, children's cries, voices and the sound of cars running are mixed together ... while I am immersed in the world of books alone.
The excitement and noise are theirs, not mine.
A reporter once asked Yang li Ping, 57, "Do you want to dance without children?" She calmly replied, "Some people live to carry on the family line, some people enjoy it, some people experience it, and some people watch it. I am a bystander of life. I came to this world to see how a tree grows, how rivers flow, how white clouds float and how dew condenses ... "
She is a person who enjoys loneliness to the extreme. She lives for herself.
As Zhuangzi said, "being alone with the spirit of heaven and earth".
Life is actually a very lonely journey. We come to this world blankly, and eventually we will leave alone. Each of us should spend our lives alone.
Zhou said that you have lived with your relatives, friends, acquaintances and contemporaries, and you have watched them grow and age around you. However, you are still growing and aging in loneliness, and every age in your life belongs to you only. You must bear the scars left by years on your body and mind alone.
Loneliness is not shameful, and there is no need to resist. Embrace it, feel it with your heart and find its power.