It's difficult to speak in public. How to get it out?
Fear, nervousness, forgetting words, not knowing what to say, incoherent, confused in logic, inarticulate, talking to myself, out of breath and so on. I thought very well and had a lot to say, but when I stood up, my brain went blank! Before I could say it, I was already shaking with nervousness, alas! Let me speak in public? Really let me die.
These problems have puzzled us for a long time and are difficult to solve for a while, which directly affects our mentality and social interaction. take for example
When getting along with friends, I can't express my thoughts effectively, and my words don't convey my meaning, which is very poor.
Eating with leading colleagues, because there is nothing to say, seems out of place, excluded and isolated.
In the work report and debriefing speech of the unit, I felt ashamed that I had to end it hastily because of nervous stage fright and insincerity. Usually, in front of the staff, it's really humiliating because of the lack of self-confidence, chaotic logic and unsatisfactory words.
These problems are not your fault. As the famous debater Ma Weiwei said, "All along, we have been educated according to the rules, but we have been evaluated by this society in a way of speaking. This is the embarrassment under the education model. "
It would be a pity if you feel that you are naturally unsociable, afraid to speak, more and more taciturn, and even feel inferior and autistic because you encounter difficulties in communicating with others. Because "speaking" is originally formed by cultivation, no one can make the words sound reasonable and pleasant from birth. So all the problems you encounter can be improved step by step.
First of all, let's understand the factors that induce tension, mainly in two aspects.
Let's imagine these scenarios:
1) Are you nervous when chatting with your parents normally? no
2) Do you get nervous when chatting with your friends? no
3) Your parents know about your puppy love. Were you nervous when they asked? be
4) Your friend owes you money and never pays it back. Do you get nervous when you want it but don't know how to say it? be
5) Do you feel nervous when you express it publicly in front of 200 people in the classroom? be
To sum up, we can draw a general conclusion: casual communication will not make us nervous, such as chatting with parents and friends, we will not be nervous. Once there is an interest appeal or psychological appeal, it will cause our mood to fluctuate. If we want to avoid accusations, embarrassment and recognition, our hearts will beat faster, and we will have worries and doubts. This is what we often call neuroticism.
When we walk in the society, it is very common to speak extemporaneously. In this process, people have formed a conventional general mode of thinking, that is, you and the people who listen to you know what role you play, and everyone consciously or unconsciously takes the social identity of your role as the standard to measure your speaking level. It is this kind of role expectation that makes you bear a heavy psychological burden, afraid of "speaking badly" and "making a fool of yourself", and afraid of being looked down upon by others, thus resulting in the embarrassment and helplessness of "dare not speak".
Inferiority is a negative emotional experience, and there are many reasons for it, such as appearance, status and family background. Under the influence of this inferiority complex, people who speak in public will think that their thoughts, opinions, language organization, voices and manners are not as good as others ... The more worried they are, the greater their psychological pressure is, and the more afraid they are, and they will become at a loss, tongue-tied, and feel ridiculed by many people, unable to escape, very painful and eager to bury themselves.
Nervousness is an instinctive reaction of the human body and an early warning of the body. It tells us to avoid danger at any time, so this kind of tension is the physiological need of every normal person. What we need to do at this time is to make the tension less obvious, and control this normal reaction in a suitable range without affecting our normal expression.
Specifically, how should we face these two factors that cause tension?
We often attend some meetings. As long as you pay attention to the people around you, you will find that many people are playing mobile phones! Even if you don't play with your mobile phone, few people listen carefully. You can imagine that even if the audience can listen to you carefully, they will listen to you with one ear and the other ear, and will not take it to heart. Few people will think you are poor. As long as there is no fanfare, there will be no impact. You said less than 10 minutes, and people won't care. Don't take it personally.
Harvard University in the United States has a happiness class, the focus is on mentality: you have to admit that everyone is an ordinary person. Without you, the moon will still go around the earth and human civilization will still develop. You are just an ordinary person, the dust in the universe, the bit part in other people's world. Few people in the audience will take you seriously. Even if you feel that you are a failure, others will not underestimate you and will not affect your communication, so don't worry about ridicule, disappointment or incomprehension. These are your own feelings and have nothing to do with others.
"You are just an audience and a supporting role, and I am the master of this world! Then I said, you have to listen to me, I am the leader, and I have the final say. "
Think of it as a rehearsal. Come when it's time. "Broken cans and broken falls." Let him be nervous if he is nervous, whatever, it doesn't matter if he is wrong, let everyone laugh at me! Let the storm come more violently! It's much simpler.
What really affects your state is not whether you have nervous and anxious emotions, but how to understand, accept and deal with them. If you don't care and don't amplify these tensions, you can speak out easily.
I won't expand this piece, so let's try to understand it. Since you can speak eloquently and work hard in the workplace, you can only laugh at the end if you become eloquent and shrewd. Only by knowing your own shortcomings can you find ways to solve them and make yourself more and more mature and powerful. And those who love to complain can always find reasons to escape and automatically give up opportunities for growth. The gap between people is gradually widening in repeated choices.
I. Lifestyle of Secretaries 10.
1. What is your image as a smart person?
Your first impression is very important.
Be careful when talking to the leader.
4. The secretary's words and deeds etiquette norms
5. Working terms you must master
6. How can a secretary improve her writing ability?
7. How to improve language expression ability
8. How does the secretary ask for instructions to report his work?
9. The way the secretary deals with people
10. What are the contents of official reception etiquette?
Second, how to improve the ability of impromptu speech 10
1. The secret of quickly improving communication with people
2. How to improve the ability of impromptu speech
3. How to cultivate good eloquence
4. Pay attention to socializing and chatting.
5. How to speak better
6. Stupid mouth and slow response have the rule of law
7. Be a flexible and honest person
8. Ask people to talk and do things.
9. How can I put my words right?
How to improve oral expression ability?
Third, how to do a good job in the meeting work of 8 lectures
1. Eight-character decision of meeting minutes
2. Three main points of meeting minutes
3. The moderator's speech is bright and bright.
4. Examples of writing meeting host words
5. Meeting Minutes and Meeting Minutes Writing Requirements
6. How to improve the writing speed of meeting minutes?
7. How to do a good job in meeting affairs
8. The writing format of the meeting host words
Four, the accuracy and standardization of official document language 8 lectures
Five, how to give full play to the expressive power of official documents.
Six, how to organize the official document sentence group 5
Seven, TV news release writing skills 5 lectures
Eight, how the leadership speech is tempered 20.
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Simple and practical learning and operation experience is enough. There is no foundation and don't worry. As long as we sit down, experience learning with our heart and keep practicing, the effect will naturally come out.
How to effectively solve the problem of novice writing, I pay great attention to the details of writing skills, and the content is straightforward and unpretentious, so that everyone can understand and learn.
"Having a secret is only the beginning of success. If you want to win the final victory, you must keep practicing! Practice! Practice again! Until you develop your abilities.
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