I like to associate with people who are measured.
You shouldn't do anything in this world, otherwise things will get very bad.
Too many people are easy to walk for a long time; Doing things too hard can easily lead to great disaster.
Life is limited, and living too much is a disaster.
Being a full man is lacking in everything.
0 1
Speak in moderation and don't poke others' pain at will.
There is a saying in Xunzi: "Kind words are warmer than cloth and silk, and hurt people deeper than spears and halberds."
Speak appropriately, as comfortable as the spring breeze;
Bitter will only make the original feelings fragmented.
Ge You is a considerate person who does not surpass others in words.
Once, he attended a dinner party, and after three rounds of drinking, someone spoke loudly: "Who wants to vote for a new film recently, mainly ..."
At this time, one of you can't help but vomit: "As long as you can, you know more!"
The other sneered, "Who doesn't know this?"
But Ge You smiled slightly from beginning to end, holding his hands, sitting in the crowd, listening respectfully, and occasionally holding a show: "I really don't know, you have to tell me more, I want to listen to you in detail."
He always seems to have the leisure of an old Beijinger.
People who talk a lot and are over 500 years old are by no means unheard of. Often, he can guess the end as soon as he hears the beginning.
But he is willing to watch his friends brag for fun, and he is willing to leave some room for the speaker and some freedom for himself.
So many people will praise him generously in public and say that they like to get along with him.
Ge You always speaks with his own limits. He will not pour cold water on the enthusiasm of others, nor will he easily poke people's pain and expose people's scars.
A good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts in June.
Cai Kangyong once said, "You are what you say."
People who can talk are often people who can take others to heart.
Everyone can speak, but not everyone can say a good word.
People who can talk can not only make people respect, but also warm their hearts.
The art of speaking lies in an appropriate limit, and this appropriate limit is often reflected in seeing through and not seeing through.
Seeing through is a kind of wisdom; If it is not thorough, it is a kind of mind.
02
Leave room for yourself and don't push others to the wall.
In the battle of Guandu, Chen Lin, as Yuan Shao's chief of staff, wrote a book of 1700 words, denouncing Cao Cao.
Not only said that Cao Cao was a "thief", but also scolded his ancestors for eight generations.
After watching Chen Lin's campaign, Cao Cao suddenly broke out in a cold sweat.
Soon after, Cao Cao defeated Yuan Shao and Chen Lin was captured alive.
For a time, the sound of execution was endless.
Being so humiliated, anyone else could have taken revenge to vent their unhappiness.
However, because Cao Cao cherished talents, he left Chen Lin with him and entrusted him with a heavy responsibility.
After Chen Lin followed Cao Cao, he not only added a beautiful scenery to Jian 'an style of writing, but also successfully became one of the "Seven Scholars of Jian 'an".
Moreover, he advised Cao Cao, and was praised by scholar Lu Bi as "the governor is in harmony with Wei Wu".
Cao Cao's tolerant mind makes many people willing to follow him and help him become a generation hegemon.
There is a saying in "Caigen Tan": "It is more than enough to treat people and things, and endless courtesy can keep an insatiable heart; If you have enough wisdom, you can guard against emergencies. "
Leaving room for others can not only retain people's hearts, but also help others achieve something.
A person's feng shui is often on himself.
When you were in power, you didn't kill others.
When you are frustrated, when you are depressed, you will naturally be less.
There is a saying in "Letters from Fu Lei", "Don't be arrogant if you are right, and forgive others if you are right."
Many times, when you forgive others, you let go of yourself and even achieve yourself.
Thirty years in Hedong, thirty years in Hexi, leaving room for others is to leave yourself with vitality and retreat.
03
Don't go beyond the rules in communication, and don't violate the bottom line of others.
Murphy said something like this:
When he first came to work in a TV station, he hosted a good program.
Before he reported the good news to his family, he received a phone call from a relative.
The other party wants Murphy to arrange a job for his son. She thinks that her son is a director and should enter the TV station. If Morphy is willing to help, it will be easy.
Murphy coaxed, "You need an exam to get into Taiwan Province. It's not like I asked someone to find a relationship. "
Hearing this, the relatives flew into a rage, not only complaining that Murphy didn't help, but also sarcastically saying that he forgot all his poor relatives when his career was successful.
In desperation, Morphy directly said that there was nothing he could do about it, and even blacked out the contact information of this relative.
In the long journey of life, we gradually lost contact with many people before we realized that no matter what the relationship is, the most suitable distance is actually enough.
Zhou Zeng said: "All communication has an insurmountable final boundary. This boundary is not clear, but it is certain. All troubles and conflicts begin with unintentional attempts to break through this boundary. "
If this relative knows that his request may have crossed the boundary between two people, he will not pursue it because of the other party's refusal, nor will he be blacked out.
Each of us, in interpersonal communication, should actually learn to restrain ourselves, grasp the sense of proportion, and not break through the bottom line of others.
Because people are like hedgehogs in the cold winter, they will feel cold if they are too far away from each other; Being too close will sting.
Zeng Guofan once said that he likes the words "flowers are not fully open, the moon is not full" best.
Because once a flower is in full bloom, it is not far from decline, and once the moon is round, it is not far from loss.
People who can talk can speak freely without poking people's pain.
People who can do things can not only show their talents, but also push people into desperation.
A good relationship can not only help to appreciate each other, but also not cross each other's bottom line.
Being a full man is lacking in everything.
Half-blooming flowers and half-drunk wine, knowing enough is the best state of life.