I am an artilleryman! I need a cross talk about veterans retiring from service.
Guo Degang (A): Many friends came to listen to cross talk!
Li Jing (B): Alas
A: Great! Listen to it often Crosstalk is good for your health!
B: Yes?
A: Have fun, good health. What do you hear when you listen to crosstalk?
B :Tell me!
A: I have to teach you,
B: Ah
A: When listening to cross talk, I mainly listen to Guan'er
p>B: Oh, it’s that Guankou,
A: Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, no matter how many sentences, all in one go!
B: A long line< /p>
A: Mouth is clean
B: Alas!
A: When listening to cross talk, I mainly listen to Guan'er!
B: Alas! !
A: Where are you listening to the storytelling?
B: Ah!
A: What you heard is this praise!
B: Character praise
A: Character praise! Flowers and birds praise! Armor praise! This is the praise you heard!
B: Yes!
A :Where is the conductor?
B: What are you listening to?
A: Look at this style!,
B: Oh!
< p>A: Dance!B: Ah!
A: Look at this partner!
B: Look!
A: Watch!
B: This is it. . . .
A: Pay attention to this belt
B: That’s right!
A: Pocket watch!
B: Ah!
A: Look at this chain
B: Oh
A: Bun!
B: Ah!
A: Eat this stuffing
B: Yes!
A: Tang suit!
B: This. . .
A: The button you are looking at (ancient button, pronounced "Pai'er") is a urine kang! Pay attention to that piece, buy a tortoise!
B: Ah
A: Look at that guy, there are so many universities learning about this thing, huh?
B: What kind of knowledge is there?
A: Most people can’t tell,< /p>
B: Yes, no one is thinking about this!
A: That’s me!
B: Ah!
A: You have so much ability!
B: This ability is not that great!
A: I am a literary giant!
B: What are you?
A: Huh?
B: I didn’t see it
A: Smell me, then you will howl after you smell it
B: This literary giant It’s just one word, don’t break it apart
A: I am a scholar!
B: Oh? Learned
A: Alas! You Listen to it
B: Ah!
A: We all know! Poems and songs
B: Okay, okay, please stand up and speak first. Ah?
A: I’m used to sleeping on the kang at home!
B: I still live on an earthen kang here
A: Poems, songs, and classical literature are all Got to learn,
B: Alas!
A: Gold and silver are the most expensive! Time is like a sword that cuts people!
The sun and the moon travel by and urge people to grow old. !The three golden rays of the Sun Buddha bring people to life.
This is a Tang poem. This? You can sing and say this!
B: Yes? Sing?
A: (Singing, Beijing Qinshu Diao) That gold and silver treasure is the most expensive!< /p>
Time is like a sword that cuts people! The sun and the moon travel and remind people!
Three golden rays of the Sun Buddha can make people survive, (Qin Shu passes the door) tells the story of the common people!< /p>
B: Are you applauding for this? What kind of mess is this?
A: This? A Tang poem, the three golden lights of the Sun Buddha bring people to life
B: This song does not exist among Tang poems.
A: There are too many!
B: Ah
A: A horse is considered a good horse if it is fat! People have to work hard if they want to get rich!
p>
When you are away from home and making unintentional friends, he leaves a hole for you to see!
Flowers bloom and fade every year! How many moons are missing and full! Endure and endure,
< p>Rao, Rao, there are three knives above the word "forbearance"! We all know this!B: This is called the "Hundred Ninja Picture"
A: Alas! Fishing, woodcutter and plowing calves You all have to endure it. Listen to me explain some of the basics of forbearance.
The woodcutter who chops wood also has to endure it. What he has to endure is that there are no tigers and wolves howling in the mountains. The fisherman also has to endure it.
p>
What I endure is that the wind and waves are calm so that I can catch the fish and shrimps. I become a tormentor and pretend not to see it with one eye closed.
Look at this. ah. This, are you looking at it?
B: No.
A: Pretend not to look at it!
B: Don’t make up for it, why are you making up for it?
A: Ah! Tang poetry, Tang poetry and Song lyrics!
B: There is no such song
A: Everyone has seen the talented man, right? This?
B: Is this what the talented man has learned?
A: This is a great knowledge, to be honest.
You have to study everything!
B: What else are you studying?
A: Huh? You have to study them all, the classics! You have to study them all, Eastern and Western Han, Journey to the West, and Three Kingdoms , ah?
B: If you want to talk about the Three Kingdoms and Water Margin, then you should study the classics. This is interesting
A: Do you know both the Three Kingdoms and Water Margin?
B: You know?
A: No? Okay, that’s it!
B: Ah
A: People who talk about cross talk don’t have much knowledge, you Made me change this view. Okay! Kid! Ah? Ha!
B: Who is the kid?
A: I also know about the Three Kingdoms! I am very excited!
B: Huh?
A: Huh? You? Ha? This? Yo? Ha! He also knows about the Three Kingdoms? Look!?
B: What's wrong with you? What is this?
p>
A: I am very happy! There is a successor in the Chinese cross talk industry. Ah? You know about the Three Kingdoms too?!
B: I know that the Three Kingdoms don’t show up very often
A: I am an expert in this field!
B: Oh, Specialize in studying this!
A: You have to ask me about the Three Kingdoms!
B: Yes?
A: I just study that The things inside and outside the Three Kingdoms, up and down!
B: Oh, tell us what you have studied.
A: What I know is unknown to others.
B: Oh!
A: Do you know how to borrow the east wind?
B: There is such a drama
A: Ha! Have you seen this play?
B: Ah
A: Huh?!?!? Okay! Okay! Okay! Is this thing still alive? In the Three Kingdoms, borrow the east wind , Peking Opera has this! Peking Opera! There is this play of "Borrowing the East Wind"!
B: Yes
A: (Singing) I predict that the east wind will come down on Jiazi! Right?
B: There is this line!
A: Wei Rongyuan sings this the best! Do you know?
B: Who?!?!?! ?
A: Ah?
B: Wei Rongyuan? Wei Rongyuan sings opera!
A: Who is this?
B: Ma Lianliang!
A: Ma Lianliang?
B: Alas!
A: This is the best song! But let me ask you! Jiazi Day The east wind will surely fall, and by virtue of the east wind, this day is Jiazi Day
B: Yes
A: On this day, what day of the week is it?
B: What day of the week
A: When is the day of the week?
B: Then. . . Who knows?
A: I don’t know?!?
B: I don’t know!!!
A: Thursday!
B: Thursday?
A: November 20, the 13th year of Jian'an! AD 208! Calculated by day, plus leap years and divided by 7, it is Thursday! Thank you !Thank you!
B: It’s okay, I really work hard to pay it forward!
A: Thursday! I’m going to sell this to the Beijing Peking Opera Company!
B: Huh? What do people need this for?
A: Let’s put it into a play later! (Singing) I predict that on Thursday, Jiazhi day, the east wind will come down! This is good, this is so good. Ah?!
B: If you sing like this, you have to take the band into a ditch
A: How great, Peking Opera comes with weather forecast, this thing, huh?
< p>B: This is nothing!A: Don’t you want to watch it? I want to know what day we can go to the theater!
B: Just know that day?
p>A: Contributed a lot! Did you know?
B: Didn’t contribute much!
A: Others don’t know, but we know!
B: Oh, what else are you studying?
A: Well, does Guan Yu know?
B: Of course I do!
A: Guan Yunchang, he Who is the master?
B: His master?!?
A: Do you know?
B: Guan Yu still has a portal?
< p>A: Look!?! There are masters and apprenticesB: Oh
!
A: I don’t know?
B: I don’t know!
A: It’s over, it’s over!
B: Ah
A: Don’t ask for a better explanation!
B :Then tell us.
A: Who is Guan Yu’s master?
B: Ah!
A: Who knows? No one knows! Let me ask you a little question first, Guan Yu What books do you like to read?
B: Alas? You can’t hide this from me!
A: Yes
B: Spring and Autumn Period - Sun Wu’s Art of War!
< p>A: Yes! Sun Wu’s Art of War! Why do you like to watch Sun Wu’s Art of War?B: Why?
A: That was left behind by his master
B: Oh?
A: Do you know?
B: Ah
A: Sun Wu! There is a word left behind!
< p>B: What?A: Empty!
B: Sun Wukong?
A: Alas!
B: Monkey Son?!?!?
A: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!!!
B: Is this Guan Gong’s master?
A: Guan Gong His old mentor! Ah? Sun Wukong! Uncle Zhu Bajie, do you know?
B: Yes
A: Monk Sha, do you know?
B :Alas! Monk Sha
A: His master, Monk Tang, yes!
B: Yes, that’s not right either?
A: Why is it wrong? ?
B: Is this Sun Wukong a monkey?
A: Yes, this Guan Yu is also a monkey!
B: Guan Yu is a monkey
p>
A: Han Shouting - Monkey! Right?
B: Your little knowledge has been wasted here
A: After the Three Kingdoms came the Two Jin Dynasties. The two Jin Dynasties ended with the Southern and Northern Dynasties, and the Southern and Northern Dynasties ended with the Sui Dynasty.
Finally, the Tang Dynasty unified the world. Do you think it took 500 years during the Three Kingdoms period?
Guan Yu, who was taught by Sun Wukong, , it was suppressed under the Five Elements Mountain, and 500 years later it was taken out to obtain Buddhist scriptures. Take a look. . . Right?
B: What is all this mess?
A: Look?! Knowledge? Knowledge!
B: Apart from this, you What else are you studying?
A: It’s better to be more capable!
B: Ah
A: Cao Cao, do you know?
B: Cao Cao knows
A: Who is Cao Cao’s father?
B: Cao Cao, his father?
A: Ah!
B: I know!
A: Who is it?
B: Cao Zigao (name of dim sum)
A: Look? That’s nonsense Right? I don’t do this to you!
B: You don’t do this
A: This is the time to learn this knowledge!
B: Ah! I know!
A: You are not serious, just ask if you don’t know. What does Cao Zigao mean? That's nonsense. Ah?
B: His name is Cao Song
A: No. . . Let me tell you, I have been studying knowledge for so many years, ah?
B: You always have no standing posture
A: There is no place to rest your legs, you know this, you know Well! Cao Cao’s father is not Cao Song!
B: Who is it?
A: Do you really want to learn?
B: I really want to learn!
A: Take a notebook and write it down! Let me tell you, Cao Cao’s father! His name is Banana!
B: Banana
A: Banana !!
B: Not as tall as Cao Zi like me!
A: How hard are you doing?
B: Yes! You are smart! Son! What two words are there?
A: Good relationship, friendship. Cao intersects.
B: Isn’t that the fruit?
A: No, no, no, it has nothing to do with that,
B: Oh
A: Cao Jiaojiao, this has a history.
B: What is the basis for this?
A: Have you seen the Peking Opera "Catch and Release Cao"?
B: Yes!
A: There is an old man named Lu Boshe< /p>
B: Oh
A: I said this when I met Cao Cao.
B: Which sentence?
A: It’s true that I have a good relationship with your father! I have a good relationship with your father, Cao
B: And also Is it true?
A: It’s true!
B: You are a “dog with a bit in your mouth - Hu Lei”
”
< p>A: Cao Jiaojiao, do you know? You don’t know this, right?B: I don’t know!
A: How powerful is this? Through our research, we found In the Three Kingdoms, there were different ways of dealing with emotions between men and women.
B: Oh, what is there?
A: For example, there is a great person here,
B: What is his name?
A: Liu Bei, Liu Xuande.
Liu Bei is not very good.
B: Ah
A: Especially to his wife, he is not good! In the Three Kingdoms, he gave his wife to his wife three times Abandoned
B: Oh?
A: This is called Liu Bei abandoning his wife
B: When?
A: Look! Lu Bu beat Xiaopei and he ran away. His wife (Mi Zhu) left him alone and ignored him.
B: Ah
A: When we hit Xuzhou, he ran away again. What should I do with my wife? Let Guan Yunchang get two cars and take him away. Just hide.
p>
B: Yes
A: Later, when we were at Tuntu Mountain, we made an appointment for three things. Is there such a period?
B: When we were at Tuntu Mountain, we made an appointment for three things< /p>
A: Later, Zhang Wenyuan came and asked about this matter. Zhang Wenyuan had a lot of things to do. He just came out of Wulongyuan, you know?
B: Oh, this and this. . .
A: Say, I’m busy too!
B: Zhang Liao, Zhang Wenyuan, not that Zhang Wenyuan
A: Ah? Is it different from that (?< /p>
B: It’s different
A: What dynasty does he care about with his temper? Ah
B: That needs to be taken care of, and that needs to be figured out.
A: Ah, this was one time. Later, when I abandoned Xinye and walked to Fancheng, I abandoned my wife again.
B: Oh?
< p>A: Later, thanks to the generals, Zhao Yun and Zhao Zilong, who went in and out seven times, the young master Adou was rescued.B: Yes
A: Liu Bei took the child , the invitation to buy is so exciting
B: Ah
A: Tears came down. When I saw this Adou, it was all because of you!
B: Does Liu Bei talk like me?
A: He, what are his characteristics?
B: What are his characteristics?
A: Just because of you, You almost lost one of my generals! Why did I keep you, this unlucky kid? I'll throw you and me to death! --- Throw it to the ground
B: Throw it to the ground and you won't fall to death?
A: This is bad! It’s a bad door, can you fall to death? First, Liu Bei’s waist is hairy!
B: Oh
A: Second, his arms are long, like those of a gorilla.
B: Yes
A: Third, the child just dropped to the ground on the sand! It’s okay. I want to fall to death, I really want to kill myself, there are many ways to do it,
B: What can I do?
A: Hold the leg and throw it against the tree
B: This is too cruel
A: It’s over in two strokes, isn’t it? This is Liu Bei abandoning his wife
B: Inviting to buy people’s hearts
A : And this Lu Bu’s love for his wife
B: What happened to Lu Bu’s love for his wife?
A: Lu Bu is amazing!
B: Ah
A: Lu Bu among men, the red rabbit among horses!
B: There is such a saying,
A: No horse head can beat him,
p>B: Yes
A: Run fast! Oops, this lap covers hundreds of miles,
B: Yes
A: And he’s not tired. He pulls the reins and lets out a wild cry. The horse raises its hooves. Ha! He’s still talking to other horses!
B: Ah
A : I'm the fastest runner!
B: It's not over, right? This horse has the same taste?
A: That's what it means
B: What do you mean?
A: Red Rabbit among horses, Lu Bu among men! Amazing! When he is capable, there is one thing: he is greedy for beauty and likes Diao Chan. When he was at the White Gate Tower, he asked Cao Cao to kill him. Lu Bu loves his wife
B: Alas!
A: And Liu An killed his wife
B: What is this story?
A: It was Liu Bei who escaped from Xiaopei. He didn't eat anything along the way and was very hungry.
I found a small house in the wilderness, and there lived a man named Liu An, who was playing swordsmanship and singing.
B: Alas
A :What is playing the sword? People in the past would sometimes sit in the house, stretch out their swords, play the sword with their fingers, and sing while playing the sword.
B: They used to do this
p>A: To relieve my boredom, yes, (singing) the fragrance of flowers in spring is bright and bright.
B: Is there such a song?
A: Just to relieve my boredom! Liu Bei came here and banged on the door. The door was about to open, and Liu An came out. Who are you looking for?
B: If you try to learn this again, I’ll slap you!
A: I’m just a real person, do you know that?
< p>B: Why do you have this in every paragraph?A: Let me come in. When I sat down here, Liu Bei said he hadn’t eaten yet.
It doesn’t matter, I’ll prepare a meal for you! Go to the back and kill your wife.
Cook a few dishes, bring them out, Liu Bei eats them all, call here I ran out and met Cao Cao.
At that time, a man named Liu An invited me to dinner, and his wife was fed. Cao Cao was very moved,
Sent someone to send Wen Yinyi Qianliang, starting from here, Liu An suddenly became rich,
B: Rich
A: But, the spirit is very empty,
B: Ah
A: I will be a bachelor for the rest of my life,
B: Why
A: No girl from any family dares to be his wife,
B: Why?
A: Afraid of his treat.
B: Yes, are you going to kill him again?
A: Isn’t it true? If you look at these knowledge, you can’t tell if you look at the Three Kingdoms.
B :That’s not the case
A: You have to come here to learn from me,
B: Yes, just think about this
A: Isn’t that right? Let me ask you another question,
B: What is the problem?
A: Who is the most capable among the three kingdoms?
B: Alas? This is not something you can do. I, I know!
A: Who is it?
B: Zhuge Liang!
A: Zhuge Liang is very capable. He knows both astronomy and geography. , Zhongxiao Renhe,
Understand the Yin and Yang and understand the Eight Diagrams, and the Xiaoqi Sect knows the shield and armor. I am more wise than Guan Zhong and Le Yi.
B: The ability is not small! The ability is so great!
A: The ability is great, how come Wuzhangyuan and Qixingdeng were so crowded that Sima Yi ran to death?
B: Then It’s just that Sima Yi is very capable.
A: That’s right! Sima Yi is very capable. Commanding thousands of troops and horses! Huh? There are as many as a thousand generals under his command.
What a great hero. When fighting Jieting, he sent Zhang Heyi to win the battle. Sima Yi is very capable!
B: How big!
A: Then why did Zhao Yun scare away Zhao Yun at the street pavilion? What is going on?
B: That means Zhao Yun is very capable!
A: Yes! General Changsheng, he went in and out seven times in Changbanpo to rescue the young master Adou.
B: Alas!
A: Zhao Yun is so capable! Why did he let Zhang Fei cut off the rear when he was in Yangqiao?
B: That was Zhang Fei He is very capable!
A: At Hulao Pass, three heroes fought against Lu Bu. Three heroes beat one man?
B: Lu Bu is very capable!
A: Baimenlou, Cao Cao, kill Lu Bu!
B: That means Cao Cao is very capable!
A: Oh? When the warship was burned, he cut off all his beards and ran away. Now, who is more capable?
B: I don’t know!
A: You don’t know who is more capable in the three countries?
B: I don’t know!
p>A: Me!
B: Are you still here?
A: Look, how many times have you been without me? Can you say it so happily?
B: You don’t show your face very often
A: What a talent! To study it, you have to study its extension. It’s no fun just thinking about the story.
These heroes in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, do they have different uses in today’s society!
B: Oh? They all have their uses!
A :Alas!
B: How many people should I mention?
A: I can give them - re-employment!
B: Oh, you can give them Arrange a job.
A: No problem.
B: The one you just mentioned, Zhang Liao, Zhang Wenyuan, general!
A: Zhang Liao, Zhang Wenyuan,
B: What can he do?
A: Let’s go to a kindergarten and become a teacher. Specializing in taking care of children,
B: Why is this?
A: During the battle in Xiaoyaojin, millions of children did not dare to cry. Zhang Liao stopped crying and put it in the kindergarten. Most suitable for children.
B: He can calm even children.
A: They are all afraid of him.
B: What can generals Zhang Fei and Zhang Yide do?
A: Zhang Fei and Zhang Yide are put in the bank as security guards.
B: What's going on?
A: One is that he snores while sleeping, and the other is that he stares while sleeping. In this way, being a security guard is most suitable.
B: Yes, guard against thieves. Cao Cao
A: Cao Cao, become a plastic surgeon! Cut off his beard and discard his robe to completely change his appearance. Plastic surgery is the best!
B: What can Zuo Ci do?
A: Zuo Ci is an amazing person, with a half-immortal body. I wish I could do all kinds of tricks in the past. Really? Be a magician!
B: Magician?
A: David. Zuo Cifield
B: David Copperfield
A: Well, he doesn’t stumble
B: What do you mean by not stuttering? ?
A: My hands are quick and my mouth is fine.
B: Can be a magician
A: A magician
B: Okay.
Let me mention one more, Liu Bei and Liu Xuande
A: To act in a TV series
B: To act in a TV series?
A: Just cry if you want, Liu Bei is the most suitable< /p>
B: Full of emotions
A: No problem
B: What can Zhang Song do?
A: Zhang Song, oh, offer Xichuan Zhang Song!
B: Yes
A: Be the host, sharp-tongued, don’t save face, let him crowd the guests
B: Oh, Kong Ming
A: Kong Ming opens a website,
B: Opens a website?
A: Such a smart person doesn’t open a website, ah ?Unjustly accused.
B: Yes, yes, yes
A: Really?
B: Zhao Yun Zhao Zilong
A: Express delivery!
B: Huh?
A: Express delivery! Seven in and seven out, don’t delay things. Fast!
B: Fast?
A: Fast!
B: Miheng
A: Miheng, strike Those who encouraged and scolded Cao Cao and took off their shirts to fight with Cao Cao?
B: Yes, yes, yes!
A: Sent to the Academy of Fine Arts to be a nude model
< p>B: How did you figure it outA: Take it off there, take it off there
B: Guan Yu Guan Yunchang,
A: WTO negotiator, passed Five levels to kill six generals, this is the most suitable place for him.
B: There is a man named Cao Chong
A: Free market, let’s deal with the fair scale
B: Yes, Cao Chong weighs the elephant
< p>A: He has researched on thisB: Pang Tong?
A: If you act in a sketch, you will definitely look famous, let me tell you.
B: Well, Pang Tong is not good-looking,
A: Ugly star!
B: What can Yang Xiu do?
A : Lucky 52, guessing riddles for Li Yong, choking. . . . This is great!
B: Sun Quan?
A: Play a drama, play a foreigner, no makeup required
B: Oh,
A: Green eyes, red eyebrows
B: What can Meng Huo do?
A: Meng Huo, seven captures of Meng Huo? A, A, and B should be coaches! It’s just 7 times!
B: What about after seven times?
A: After seven times, get out of class is over.