I'm not okay at all.
Seeing this passage, I feel that this is a question that I have been thinking about since my youth, and I am not qualified to answer this question about how to get happiness, because I have been on this road of finding happiness, and this process may last for a lifetime.
Actually, I'm not okay at all. Really, when I think about it, there are many things that make me unhappy.
When I was a student, I always regarded academic performance as the first goal. I do well in every exam. The happiest moment is the moment when the teacher posted the report card on the wall, which lasted for dozens of seconds, less than a minute. Then I continue to bury myself in reading and reviewing, because the countdown to the next exam can begin again.
Of course, besides studying, there are also hazy fantasies in youth. I like a boy, so I wish I could be closer to his seat. It's best to pop in and ask me a question. The teacher had better arrange for us to finish our homework together in groups. It's best for him to see me jump rope in physical education class. We'd better be admitted to the same high school and university in the future, and then we can be together forever.
And what is the opposite of this expectation? It means unrequited love, which means that you expect to be seen by him when you are good, and you will inevitably be beaten by him when the result is very timid. And in many cases, the probability of the latter will be greater, and you can't answer this question in class. When you are panting after running on the physical education class, there are also embarrassing moments when you desperately want to grab a meal and take a shower. He played all these, but you can't hide.
You expect him to look back at you inadvertently, but you don't know that maybe he just wants to smile with another girl.
Ambiguity makes people feel wronged and there is no evidence of love. The heroines in those idol dramas are actually the moments when the hero is moved at the most embarrassing moment, which is really a big joke.
Well, that's why I've been very unhappy, starting from junior high school to college.
When I was busy with my studies in college, I began to think about many life problems. At this time, my value system has not been fully established, my vision is not wide enough, and there is no guide, so I always walk into a dead end inadvertently.
I once thought about a deep human problem, that is, since everyone is going to die, what is the significance of trying? Later, someone told me that everyone's life thickness is different, depending on what you want.
So I asked myself, what do you want? I thought for a while, hoping to find a good job, earn a lot of money, and then live a good life, but what else? Well, I also want to see the outside world. I also want to do something meaningful, such as setting up a project foundation, which can plan some activities every year to gather friends to participate, but is this fantasy too ungrounded? Forget it, I don't want to.
So I am very unhappy. At this moment, even though I am sitting in the classroom listening to the teacher, I am still thinking, what is the significance of my completing this news interview class? I wonder if this major can make a living. I wonder if I can find a suitable job in the future. What should I do if I can't go on as a reporter?
I feel horrible. Nobody knows what I'm thinking, and they don't want to know.
After graduating from college, I came out to work. I'm busy renting a house, I'm familiar with the route to work, and it's cheaper to arrange my own dinner. Knowing more about my colleagues in the company and reminding myself not to make mistakes will have a bad impact on my career.
After working for several years, I am busy thinking about changing a bigger house, considering whether to buy a house of my own, planning my marriage, making a major career choice, and arranging their retirement with my parents, hoping to take them to the outside world where they have never been before in my lifetime.
None of this has anything to do with money.
I used to be told by my predecessors that money may not make me happy. I always scoff at this, because I don't think people who are still struggling with food and clothing will pay attention to your affectation.
But now my attitude towards this problem seems to have changed a little.
When traveling in Dali, the innkeeper told me that a guest came to their house last year. He is the boss of a famous group. There are countless luxury cars and big houses in his home. Every year, his business is big and respected, but he is still unhappy. He wakes up after sleeping for a few hours every day and can't stop during the day. When he stopped, he panicked.
So I asked, why didn't the boss put aside some things about Shi and change his lifestyle?
The innkeeper said he couldn't let go, even though he was much more successful than Wang Shi in his career, he just couldn't let go.
After listening to this passage, I was deeply impressed. I haven't met those great people so far, but every time I watch interviews with these people, I can know that their helplessness is as great as pressure. I once saw an entrepreneur say that if life could be repeated, he wanted to choose not to live now. Many people scoff at him, saying that it's easy to get rich standing up and talking, but now I'm beginning to feel that I can't let go of the word.
But my life is still terrible. For example, I don't like going out to eat, but cooking at home every day will be annoying. For example, I just came back from a business trip recently, and I don't feel comfortable with the fast pace of Shenzhen. They were very busy soon, and the roads were noisy and crowded. I'm a little flustered. For example, I don't know whether my next plan is to be a freelancer who sells words for a living or to find a suitable job to continue to be an office worker. I hope to support myself, but I also want to have some free time. For example, I tried on summer clothes at home these days and found that I was fatter than this time last year, which really pissed my mother off. ...
I am unhappy. I chatted with a junior high school classmate I haven't contacted for a long time yesterday. The first thing he said was, are you highly educated people not going back to your hometown to work? I want to explain, first, there is no suitable job and no interpersonal relationship in my hometown. This is impossible. Second, I want to make it clear that entering the workplace really has nothing to do with academic qualifications. Emotional intelligence and the ability to seize opportunities are sometimes more important.
But this classmate blocked me with a word. He said that I don't have such a good graduation school and hot major as you anyway. It must be easy to find a job, right? I'll just stay in my hometown and wait for my old age!
I don't know when my former classmates and friends began to alienate. Even with the WeChat circle of friends, praise has become a kind of numbness. Many times I want to find a topic to chat with, and I find that sometimes TA has isolated you and is no longer willing to save you further. That's it.
My life is not good at all. Any disappointment will make me feel very bad. Even if I bought a fruit and found that I didn't choose it when I came home, even if I left my drinking cup in the car today, even if my neighbor closed the door loudly in the middle of the night, all these can make me feel unhappy and unhappy now.
With this idea, I became a pessimist preacher, but after writing this, I want to talk about my own efforts to live a good life.
First of all, I try to stay with the energetic optimists. For example, my Guangzhou best friend will come to accompany me every two weeks. She is a person who deeply loves life. She will be happy for a long time when she meets a good movie, and she will be amazed at the beautiful scenery. When she meets a good-looking boy, she will be all kinds of anthomaniac, and then laugh. For example, every once in a while, I will have dinner with my colleagues who have a good relationship, chat with them about the gossip of the company, the recent hot topics of current affairs, some wonderful personnel encountered by the company next door, and all kinds of speechless leaders. At this time, I will find that I am involved, because I am a part of them every day, and every detail will make me willing to participate in these topics, so I will be very happy when chatting.
Second, I tried to be alone. I have studied this matter for many years. From the initial anxiety and panic, to the fear that there is no existence. Later, when I read the code word alone, I began to enjoy this kind of time alone, especially at night, when I had a short meditation. It's like being above sea level, with rough waves below me, but the sea is as calm as water, only smelling the sea breeze, and then the sun is shining.
Thirdly, I try to give more surprises to my life. For example, I dried some small daisies I bought during my trip to go to dali and brought them back from the plane. Now I put them on my bedside to remind me of this time full of adventure and happiness. For example, I started to go to the supermarket to buy some lettuce and fruit, add a few slices of bread and mix it with yogurt, and it became a salad, which was delicious enough. One of my favorite things is washing clothes. I put all kinds of clothes in laundry bags and put them in the washing machine. Then I wait for half an hour to dry one by one. At this moment, I feel that being a housewife also gives me a great sense of accomplishment.
Fourth, I will enrich myself. I am a person with a bad stomach. It's even worse when you're full and hungry The best way is to fill the refrigerator with food and have dry food on the table anytime and anywhere. I try to avoid junk food. I will cook rice porridge or sparerib soup for a whole day at the weekend, and then I will be eating it all the time. Well, lonely people should eat enough, and unhappy people should eat more.
Fifth, I will try my best to ensure adequate sleep. I used to watch a lot of amazing people sleep for a while. They always say that people sleep much after death, and they should try their best to be active when they are alive. So I feel very ashamed. There was a time when I forced myself to sleep very little, just to hone my will. As a result, I am very tired every day and the whole person is very decadent. So I compromised. I tried my best to get enough sleep and found myself in good shape.
Sixth, try to make some small changes every day, such as cutting your hair and replacing it with scented shower gel. I have run out of toner, so I can arrange flowers with bottles. I also replaced the big T-shirt with a skirt with a waist. There are no less than ten cups in my house. I drink water from different cups every day, and my mood is different. I even feel that the water has become better. Cheer for the little surprises in life, which I didn't dare to think about before. I dare not think about it now.
Seventh, relax regularly, whether it's shopping, exercising or doing a SPA, or watching movies or joining a book club. Even if I sit in the coffee shop downstairs for one night, away from my family environment, I will feel that I have given myself the best treatment. I used to feel frustrated when I heard that buy buy bought it. Now I feel that any kind of material or service product obtained with money will make me feel happy at this moment. Maybe this is the money itself.
After all, Bayi returned to the level of values. I have gradually discovered that when you don't aim at happiness, or deliberately pursue happiness, you can feel this happiness to the greatest extent. In addition, I began to understand that there is no happiness in life. Happiness exists at the moment when you solve the current problem, and then it won't be long before you start to face the next one. If you want to understand this, you may not need to pursue so much.
Now look at Weibo's circle of friends. I don't look at people who always show their true or false side. I only choose what I want to see and skip the rest.
I won't worry about whether those people who shine every day will live very tired, or whether they will affect my spam by forwarding some useless articles. I won't envy them because they eat, drink and have fun, because I am also recording my own life. If you think I am very happy and rich in status, it may be that the pictures I share at the moment and my copy are true.
Social networks exist to satisfy most people who want to tell others that I am doing well. Sometimes, on the other hand, it is also an encouragement to oneself, but many times, everyone has different degrees. I can't comment on this. One thing I can grasp is to tell myself that everything in this world is presented in PS state. Perhaps the protagonist of the story used Mito Xiu Xiu himself, or the onlookers forced the watermark and special effects.
As for these seemingly beautiful things, people who probably know the original intention of life know them, but they are all like drinking water. The meaning of saying this sentence is not to give up the envy of others, nor to tell you the truth of this world is inherently bad. If you can really achieve these beautiful halves within your own power, it is also a very inspirational and lucky thing.
In this world, there are always people who can help you live the life you want. Sometimes you don't know what kind of life you want to live, but you think you have to look at other people's models, but you can't copy them completely, because everyone's experience is unique.
I think the best way to live is to watch others realize their dreams and then realize them yourself. This dream can be big or small, but everyone's dream is different. You can refer to other people's, but don't compare them, otherwise you will fall into a cycle of endless cycles.
I am a girl who is not yet 30 years old, and I don't know what feelings I will write on the milestone of 30 years old. I have seen many people feel at the age of 30, and I never envy or feel inferior. I only hope that I have something to write on that day and my feelings can be translated into words. I hope that when I look back many years later, even if I feel naive, I will still be moved by myself, so that I feel that my life has not been wasted.
Well, I'm still unhappy. I'm actually not doing well at all, but when I wrote this sentence, my heart was calm, because I have begun to learn to accept my unhappy side and accept life as a practice. I will still love life, work hard and do well in every life project.
It is my greatest blessing to look back in my lifetime.