Post some humorous or funny phrases
No guilt for teasing people - Comprehensive text messages for teasing
1: On a cold winter morning, you paddled hard in the pool, breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly stroke, freestyle, etc. Diving that makes people fall in love! The old man on the shore was anxious: "I'll take the test! You drank up the cesspit and stopped letting me farm!"
2: There is no way to relieve my worries on the Internet, chatting to relieve my worries, and suddenly I saw a beautiful girl waving. , paused, closed other windows, and at the end of the conversation, it was an old man from the north who was gagging!
3: During the pre-Qing Dynasty, he sat in court and carried a gun in the Beiyang Army; he experienced desolation in Wuchang City and helped in the Northern Expedition; he was injured outside Nanchang; he climbed over the wall in the Long March and fought against enemy lines behind enemy lines. Sheep; who else can be better than me?
4: A farmer’s daughter was so ugly that he had to let her go to the cornfield as a scarecrow to scare crows. Not only did she scare away the crows, but three crows were so frightened that they sent some corn back.
5: I am happy and worry-free with you, I am really infatuated with you, I am worried and sad for you, I have also been sad and obsessed with you, I dare not change my heart, don’t be too suspicious, I am very troubled to write it, I am most afraid that you are Unintentionally.
6: When can we go back together to see our school and our past? The autumn leaves blew away the promise made by the wind, and actually made the infatuated tree wait all winter! I love this sentence so much! I would rather regret if I have done it than regret if I missed it
7: Dear Yes! When I ride a bicycle uphill, what I miss most is the motivation you once gave me. With you in the back seat, going uphill is full of pleasure, as long as you fart!
8: Want to be with me You said goodbye. Seeing the innocence written all over your face, my heart was broken. Why did you choose so deeply, but then give up in a hurry? I really wanted to keep you by my side forever, but my mother said "City" No pigs allowed”!
9: On a cold winter morning, you paddled hard in the pool, breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly stroke, freestyle, and the amazing diving! The old man on the shore was anxious: "I'll take the test! You drank up the cesspool and stopped letting me farm!"
10: What happened? Dial your mobile phone, and the voice prompt says: You are dialing a lazy pig from out of town. Please dial the pig pen area code before the number you are dialing. I couldn't believe it, so I dialed again, and the voice prompt said: The owner of the phone has been slaughtered!
11: In the past, I only knew that the little pig couldn’t speak, so he only knew how to hum. But then I met you, and I realized that you can hum better than the little pig. As for you, you still hum. !
12: The monotonous and busy life day after day sometimes makes people forget their own existence. At this time, you only need to take a hammer and lightly hit it on your thumb, and you can easily Find yourself...
13: A cricket made a bet with a pig: If I jump into the grass, you can't see me. The pig said: Should I be able to see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pigs are watching, the pigs are watching! The pig is still watching! Why are the pigs still watching?
14: Mobile phone maintenance experience: 1. Use distilled water for cleaning. 2 Use ice water to cool down when charging. 3 Disinfect in the microwave regularly. 4 Block the handset to prevent dust
15: If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea leaves and you were boiling water, would you brew me? If I were a car and you were the driver, would you drive me? If you were the money and I was the bankbook, I would definitely withdraw it from you.
16: I had the intention to turn into a big tree to protect you from the wind and rain, but you chopped it into pieces to light a fire; I had the love to turn it into wings to take you to heaven, but you used the torch just now It’s made into KFC spicy chicken wings!
17: You spend too much time online, please pay attention to eye hygiene. Do as I say: please rotate your head 360 degrees, bite your ears with your teeth, and make eye contact 20 times during the process
18: Your Excellency: Financially poor, inconsistent personality, likes colorful, life creed It’s a mess, and everything written above is inseparable.
19: You have changed, you have become so strange, you are no longer the familiar you in my memory! Looking at your unfamiliar face, my heart breaks.
20: I recently got a secret whitening recipe, and I saw with my own eyes that a person who was originally very dark suddenly became very white. Really effective. Of course I'm thinking of you when I have good things going on. The method is to apply a few layers of white chalk on your face, you’re welcome!
21: Tang Monk was kidnapped by bandits. In order to demand a ransom, the bandits called Sun Wukong’s cell phone. The prompt sounded: The other party has flown out of the service area! He asked Tang Seng: What is Zhu Bajie’s number? Tang Seng: I have sent it a text message and it is reading.
22: When we were young, we were childhood sweethearts. I would sing and you would dance with me. I could sing 200 songs and you could dance 200 dances.
So everyone affectionately calls me Erbai Ge and you Erbai Wu!
23: After so many years, do you know how hard it has been for me to find you? I've traveled all over the world just to find a face like yours! This is my business card, welcome to my plastic surgery hospital anytime!
24: You are cool, you are handsome, you are a diamond king, there are rows of beauties chasing you, you can choose from them, your face will light up with joy, your heart will beat wildly, and your ears will burst into laughter. There was a voice from the side: "ragpickers are not allowed to sleep here"
25: Turtle: If I hadn't been surfing the Internet all the time, my face wouldn't be as green as a screensaver! Octopus: If I hadn't smoked all the time, I wouldn't blow out smoke rings in a hurry! Frog: If I hadn’t read text messages all the time, I wouldn’t be like this!
26: Even though I am very frugal, I still like you to invite me to the hotel every day. The higher the class, the happier I am. Don’t wonder: drinking the Moutai you bought is cheaper than drinking my tap water!
27: I heard that the mice in your house have moved, and the flies were sent to the hospital due to fumes. I just saw your cockroaches in the supermarket buying freshener, and the bedbugs buying incense! Brother, wash your feet!
28: Cowardice is not your nature, patience is not your destiny, silence puts you in trouble, reserve is your heart disease, whoever dares to disrespect you again, I will let you bite him!
29: Where are you? I can’t get through on the phone, I’m so anxious! I have something important to ask you. When you see the message, go to the epidemic prevention station for a physical examination as soon as possible! Your opportunity has come. If you pass the physical examination, you will be transferred from a private pig pen to a state-run pig factory!
30: One day I was walking on the street, and a beautiful girl came up to me and asked me, "Are you handsome?" I said "no" and she left! Then he turned around and punched me viciously, saying, "I told you to lie." 31: Dear user, since the sum of the digits of your mobile phone number is the same as the number of strokes in your name, we suspect that you may be in arrears and will suspend the service for one month.
32: You use white clouds to make clothes, borrow a pair of wings from a bird, fly in front of me like an arrow, tell me - this is what a birdman looks like!
33: I had a dream last night: God told me that I am destined to be lonely in this life. There is only one way to crack it - send text messages to ten fools. I cried at that time: God, I only know you, I am finished.
34: I want to go to the sea with you, but I can’t grasp the unpredictable future; I want to go mountain climbing with you, but I’m full of confusion about ideals; I want to wander with you, but I can’t reach the happy paradise. ; I wanted to go shopping with you, but the police told me that dogs are not allowed.
35: A cricket made a bet with a pig: If I jump into the grass, you can’t see me. The pig said: What if I can see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pigs are watching, the pigs are watching! The pig is still watching! Why are the pigs still watching? ! ”
36: As eternal as a gust of wind, as real as a dream, you lower your head and think silently, I can’t calm down, I can’t help but say to you, you - dog! You can’t even do it. It’s too fast!
37: Old friend, do you still remember me? You were so majestic that year. The central leadership personally received you, the national defense personally escorted you, millions of people looked at each other, and the loudspeaker read loudly. Welcome: Criminal 048, death penalty, pulled out and killed!
38: God created water because he saw the people drinking, and created fire because he saw the darkness of the world. God saw that I need a friend. , so you showed up, so... God lost his rice bucket
39: Urgent reminder: There may be tornado weather in the near future, so be sure to carry two 10-kilogram dumbbells with you when you go out. To avoid being swept to the west by the strong wind. Those weighing less than 50 kilograms must double the weight.
40: The dusk is as thick as wine, the autumn wind blows gently on the willows, and the chrysanthemums have been defeated for a long time. Where are you running, the weather is cold. It's been a long time. Did you add any clothes? The city doesn't allow dogs. Did the owner beat you? Please call me if you are safe so that I don't have to worry about you all the time!
41: It is said that after Tang Monk and his disciples obtained the scriptures, Tripitaka was reincarnated as a He became a gangster boss, Wukong became a fashion model, Sha Monk became a university professor, and Bajie became a mobile messenger, reading text messages
42: You drink wolf wine, walk like a dog, and sing love songs all day long. I walked on the mountain road, with my lovelorn hair styled, and a passionate pace, with eyes like a rag-picker, always looking for the rain and dew of love.
43: Look at your lemon head, mouse. Eyes, hooked nose, splayed eyebrows, windy ears, big turned mouth, rabbit teeth, wick neck, high and low shoulders, long and short hands, chicken breasts, dog belly, rice bucket waist, hurry back to Mars, the earth is very dangerous.
44: Where are you? Please reply to the message immediately after seeing it. I have something urgent to do with you: I need to measure your height, weigh you, and test your IQ, and then send it to Guangming Dairy.