The ancient custom of getting married first and then getting married.

China's wedding can be divided into three stages:

Premarital ceremony, that is, "engagement"

Formal wedding, that is, the etiquette of "getting married" or "getting married", means the combination of husband and wife.

The ceremony after marriage is "adult ceremony", "adult ceremony" or "adult ceremony", which shows the role played by men and women after marriage.

In China's traditional wedding customs, premarital ceremony and formal wedding are the main procedures, both of which originated from the Six Rites of the Duke of Zhou.

It is recorded in the Book of Rites: "Those who are unconscious of rites must be in the interests of both, and continue to worship the temple, and the next generation will be the next generation. Therefore, men are more particular about accepting gifts, asking names, accepting gifts, and inviting guests. All the masters are only at the door, and they will be promoted and obeyed by the temple, and they will be greeted and entered at the door. " ..... So it's the essence of courtesy to be surprised. "

The so-called six gifts, according to the records of the ceremony, are receiving gifts, asking names, Najib, receiving gifts, inviting parties and welcoming guests. It is said that the Six Rites originated in the Zhou Dynasty. Some scholars believe that there were six rites in Zhou Wenwang's time, but some people didn't follow them.

In the third year of Emperor Ping of Han Dynasty, Liu Xin and others arranged the wedding, and the fourth assistant, Dr. Lang Junqing, told the family of Qianlang to marry him personally. The next year, the queen was also appointed to accept Cai and Buji. During the Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties, the wedding of the Crown Prince and the Crown Princess came uninvited, and from the Eastern Han Dynasty to the Eastern Jin Dynasty, many people did not follow the six rites to get married.

After the Tang dynasty, the crown prince began to marry, and the prince's wedding would follow six rites. Later, the premise of "asking names" was "acceptance", and the premise of "invitation meeting" was "acceptance"; Therefore, although the concept is still in accordance with the Six Rites, in fact there are only four Rites, namely, accepting talents, accepting the pole, Zheng Na and kissing. Zhu Xi's family gifts combined "Naji" and "Zheng Na" into one, so there were only three gifts.

In the Yuan Dynasty, there was a ceremony to discuss marriage.

In the first year of Hongwu in the Ming Dynasty, the wedding was held in accordance with Zhu Xi's family heirloom ceremony.

In the Qing Dynasty, according to Tongli, officials in the Han Dynasty had nine ceremonies, but they were all merged into adult ceremony and adult ceremony. In ancient times, there were only five rituals left, namely, discussing marriage, receiving gifts, receiving coins, inviting guests and welcoming guests. Other literati and marriage are relatively simple, while folk weddings are generally carried out in accordance with Zhu's family law.

Three letters and six manners

Main items: Three Books and Six Gifts

Uncle San

These three books are the letter of engagement, the letter of engagement and the book of welcoming the bride:

Letter of appointment

The letter of engagement is an engagement letter, which was given by the man's family to the woman's family in Naji.

Ritual book

A gift book is a book for "receiving gifts" (giving gifts). The gift book will list the types and quantities of gifts in detail.

Wedding handbook

As the name implies, the book for welcoming the bride is the book used when marrying the bride, that is, when "welcoming the bride".

Six rites

National electronic advisory Committee

Also known as "election", it is equivalent to the "marriage proposal" and "matchmaking" mentioned by later generations. It means that the man made a decision after careful consideration.

"Wen Gong Jiali" said: "The gift of accepting and choosing, and the so-called promise in this world." In ancient times, it was simple and simple. According to "Ten Weddings in Yi Li", the so-called "zhi" or "zhi" held by the literati only used geese. It should be a pheasant, but pheasants are not easy to be caught alive, and most of them are dead pheasants. Not suitable for marriage, wedding is a life event, so couples who get the license should wear and use clothes beyond their status.

Don Du You recorded 30 kinds of gifts in Tongdian:

Gift symbol

, Yang, Yuan Rutian, Yang Hexiang, group without party.

Geese follow the sun.

Sake reduces happiness.

Reasons for the happiness of liquor.

Japonica rice nutritious food

Millet, rice and rice are all rich.

Puppies are many and soft.

Weeds are soft for a long time.

Selaginella inflorescence

Jiahe Jiahe LULU

Sewing clothes, sewing long-life clothes, life-extending glue, different types can be combined.

Paint has good internal and external light.

Five-color silk Five-color silk chapter is inexhaustible.

Acacia Spirit Acacia Spirit has a harmonious voice.

Nine sons mo nine sons mo Yongsheng.

Money, money and brightness are unlimited.

Ruth, vanilla Ruth, vanilla is auspicious.

Phoenix, Phoenix, love between men and women.

The relic beast is honest and modest.

Yuanyang Yuanyang's flight must be harmonious with each other.

Blessed animals are respectful and kind.

Fish and fish are far apart.

Lu Lu badminton is also a deer.

The blackbird knows how to feed back and filial to her husband and mother.

There are four children and nine women.

Yang Sui Yang Sui became famous and settled down.

Dan and Dan are the colors of the glory of the king, green is the first color, and the East begins.

Q. Name

Asking the name means that the man asks the woman's daughter's name and time constellation. If the woman accepts the man's proposal, she will give the man her daughter's name and time constellation and put it in front of the gods or ancestors to predict good or bad luck. If she is lucky, she will decide to marry the woman's daughter.

Najib

Naji, that is, after Wen Ding, is a bit like the engagement of westerners. At this time, in fact, the marriage has been preliminarily agreed.

Zheng Na

Take the sign, that is, the gift; "Na" means to hire money, "Zheng" means "Cheng", which means that a man can only get married if he receives a dowry. When giving a big gift, the man's family will ask two or four female relatives (who must be full of joy) to make an appointment with the matchmaker and bring the bride price, gift money and bride price to the woman's family; After the conscription ceremony, the engagement was formally established.

Invitation date

The invitation means "choosing the right date" to get married. The man's family will choose an auspicious day for marriage, and then prepare a wedding date book and gifts for the woman's family. After the bride's family accepts the gift money and agrees, the wedding date can be determined.

Meet sb. in person

Wedding reception, also known as wedding reception, means that on the wedding day, the groom will go to the bride's house with the matchmaker and relatives and friends to marry the bride. Before going to the woman's house, the groom will go to the ancestral temple of the woman's house and then take the bride back to the man's house in a sedan chair. The couple will hold a ceremony of offering sacrifices to heaven, land and ancestors at the man's house, and then send them to the bridal chamber.

Change Geng spectrum

Changing genealogy means that the families of the man and the woman exchange genealogy as evidence of engagement. After the matchmaker proposed marriage, the characters of men and women did not collide, and the two sides changed the Geng spectrum.

outer city wall

The man's family will choose an auspicious day and bring some gifts to the woman's family. Gifts are generally three sacrifices, wine gifts, etc. , and formally issued a letter of appointment.

Have a big gift

"Guo Wen Ding" will be followed by the "Guo Da Li" ceremony, which is the most grand and important engagement ceremony. Because after this ceremony, it's like a formal engagement. Like Guo, men will choose an auspicious day and bring the same dowry and various gifts to the woman's home; And the woman's family will also prepare gifts in return. The following are gifts for men and women only:

Nanjia gift

The following gifts are all even numbers to get the meaning of "yes man". According to different local customs, the types of gifts will be different.

Bride price: This means that the man acknowledges and thanks the woman's parents for their kindness in raising her daughter.

Bread: one load (50 kg)

Seafood: There are four, six or eight kinds, and the type and quantity depend on the economic situation of men. Each model is usually divided into two packages. Nostoc flagelliforme is essential for getting rich. Other seafood include abalone, oyster sauce, scallops, mushrooms, shrimp skin, squid, sea cucumber, shark's fin and fish belly.

Three kinds of animals: two pairs of chickens, two males and two females (if the parents are incomplete, one pair is enough); Pork flies in pairs from 3 kg to 5 kg (like flying only), that is, one piece is connected to another to show rich and sincere respect.

Fish: big fish or shad; Meaning fishy (sound) gas; It also means finish what you started.

Coconut: two pairs (not all parents can use one pair), which means there is a grandfather (coconut) and a son.

Wine: Fourth, it shows strong love.

Guo Jing: dried longan, dried litchi, dried peach and peanuts, to bless the prosperity of future generations, but also contains the meaning of happiness and endless life.

Fruit: that is, life is righteous and fierce.

Four-color sugar: rock candy, orange cake, winter melon candy and golden glutinous rice, which means sweet and dense, and grow old together.

Tea, sesame: Because tea needs seeds, it is a gift to tea, which means that once a woman is engaged, she must keep her promise and have no regrets, that is, the "oil sesame tea ceremony".

Mailbox (gift box): There are lotus seeds, lilies, green shoots, arborvitae, two pairs of betel nuts, sesame seeds, red beans, mung beans, red dates, dried peaches and dried longan, as well as red rope, fair, bride price, decorative gold, dragon and phoenix candles and a pair of couplets.

Fragrant gunners string gold: incense (removing bones and piercing feet), cannon (big firecrackers and cannons) and bracelets (dragon and phoenix paired happy bracelets).

Competing for two meters: the man prepares glutinous rice 12 Jin and sugar 3 Jin 22 Liang, which is for the woman's family to wrap jiaozi, in order to wrap it completely and sweetly.

Nvjia gift

Half or part of the gift from the man's family.

tea grounds

Raw fruit

Lotus root, taro and pomegranate (one pair each)

He Weijin

Pants: It means longevity and wealth.

Shoes (a pair): It means to grow old together (shoes).

Platycladus orientalis leaves, ginger, tea fried pile, muffin

repayment

Betel nut (accept one and return the rest to the man's house): it means Ichiro to the end.

Anchuang

After choosing an auspicious day, a few days before getting married, "the lucky man of my life" moved the new bed to the right place. The position should be determined according to the horoscope and god position of both men and women, and the living position of the bed should not be opposite to the sharp corners of the table cabinets and square cabinets.

Then, a "wife full of children and grandchildren" is responsible for making the bed, and all kinds of happy fruits, dried litchi, red mung beans and pears are placed on it.

Don't let yourself or other adults sit and lie down after you settle down, especially widows and divorced people; Instead, let the baby play in bed first, which means that Gardin is rich.

dowry

The dowry should be delivered to the man's house the day before the wedding at the latest. The amount of dowry symbolizes the identity and wealth of the woman's family. In addition to jewelry, dowry mainly has auspicious meanings:

Butterflies fly together: scissors

Sweet honey: a piece of sugar

Flowers bloom with wealth: vases

Food and clothing: 72 sets of clothes

Crying marriage

"Book of Rites" said: "Marry a woman's house, keep candles for three nights, and miss each other. "

Crying to get married may be difficult to understand today; However, in ancient times, due to the inconvenience of modern transportation, it was difficult for a daughter to see her family after marriage.

In fact, married women can't go back to their parents' homes to visit relatives at any time, as they do today, and they need the consent of their husband's family.

In addition, there is the following statement: It is said that crying marriage originated from the fact that ancient women could not marry freely, so they would use the song of crying marriage to accuse the unfair marriage system in ancient times.

It makes me addicted.

In ancient times, when a person was twenty years old, he had to perform a "coronation ceremony" to show his adulthood. And 14-year-old woman "and gifts". Mark the age of marriage. Therefore, bar mitzvah and marriage are inextricably linked.

After the promised marriage, a woman needs to change her hairstyle to show that she is no longer a girl, but a bride who is going to get married. "Going to the top" means not only combing the hair and bun, but also dressing up the whole head, painting a thrush on the face and applying makeup.

"Face-opening" refers to wringing the hair off the bride's face with fine wool to make her face smoother.

"Climbing to the top" is a very exquisite ceremony. Comb your hair with a new comb, and the person who helps your boss must be a "lucky person" (commonly known as "lucky guy" and "lucky woman"), that is, this person is a person who is disowned by his six relatives and has a house full of children.

In addition, the bride's family will hold a banquet to treat guests, and the grand occasion of "reaching the top" can also be seen.

"Lucky guy" and "lucky woman" said while combing the bride and groom's hair, "comb it to the end, comb it to Qi Mei with white hair, comb it to the children and grandchildren, and comb it to four silver bamboo shoots."

Red wedding dress

The bride usually wears a square red scarf with a length of three feet on one side. This red scarf is called "hijab", commonly known as hijab.

There are generally two opinions about the wedding custom of hijab: one thinks that hijab is to hide shame; There is also a saying that originated from predatory marriage in ancient times, which means that the bride can never find her way back after covering her head.

Pick up the bride (in a sedan chair) for the wedding.

In ancient times, men had to greet the bride. "Greeting" is the most solemn etiquette among the six rites. Without the groom, there is no married bride. In ancient times, there were people on foot and by car, and it was more common to greet them with eight-person sedan chairs.

People in sedan chairs must be strong. Never answer someone else's sedan chair. They have to move around. When you come back from the wedding ceremony, you have to take another road to avoid going back. If you pass through temples, shrines, graves, wells, rivers and other places on the way, you must cover the sedan chair with a red carpet by the married man as a means of "avoiding evil spirits".

If you meet a funeral procession on the road, the person who greets the wedding will say, "Lucky today, you have met a treasure!" " "Why on earth is this? Will the funeral procession be a treasure? In fact, this is because the homonym of the coffin is "viewing wealth", which means seeing treasure. This is mainly for good luck.

(of the bride and groom) salute to heaven and earth.

"Worship the church", also known as "worship heaven and earth", is a very important ceremony in the wedding. Interestingly, "paying homage to the church" does not belong to the etiquette in the ancient "three books and six rituals".

After the Song Dynasty, the marriage custom of "meeting the bride" was very popular. After "visiting the church", the woman officially became a member of the man's family.

When "paying homage to the church", the master of ceremonies presiding over the wedding will say loudly: "First, pay homage to heaven and earth, and second, pay homage to the high hall, and the husband and wife will go into the bridal chamber together."

In fact, worship of heaven and earth represents the worship of the god of heaven and earth; And worshipping Gaotang is the embodiment of filial piety; As for the worship of husband and wife, it means that husband and wife respect each other as guests. To some extent, sexual intercourse was in ancient times when a few women could have the same taste as men.

extinguish

Going out means that the bride leaves her family. At the auspicious time, the woman must be carried on the sedan chair by Sister Daikin. It is said that it will bring bad luck if the bride lands on her feet.

When going out, the bride's sister-in-law is not allowed to send it away. This is because the word "sister-in-law" is homophonic, so people believe that going out to send her away will bring bad luck.

Nowadays, when the bride goes out, the bridesmaid (accompanying the bride to the man's house, she must be unmarried) holds up a red umbrella to protect the bride, which means spreading the branches and leaves of the bride. While walking, Sister Dajin and other sisters sprinkled rice on the sky, the roof of the umbrella and the roof of the flower car to "feed the golden rooster", which means that the chicken will not peck the bride after pecking the rice. Finally, before boarding the float, the bride will bow to her relatives and friends to show her gratitude.

Pass by someone's house

Passing the door means that the bride formally enters the man's house after leaving the woman's house to meet the elders of the man's house, such as Weng Gu.

Legend has it that Aunt Weng can't directly see the newcomers entering the door in the lobby because there will be a collision. So when the woman enters the man's house, Weng Gu will come out of the room and meet the couple in the hall.

Then the bride and groom will worship heaven and earth first, and then their ancestors. Newcomers will offer tea to Aunt Weng and bow down. Aunt Weng will say some greetings and send jewelry and gifts to the bride. The bride should wear the ornaments as soon as she receives them to show her gratitude. Then, the couple will offer tea to other elders and relatives.

San Chao hui men

Three Dynasties, that is, mothering, means that on the third day after marriage, the bride, accompanied by her husband, went back to her mother's house to worship her ancestors with roast pigs and gifts, and then returned to her husband's family with her husband; According to legend, there was such a custom in the pre-Qin period.

Mothering is going back to your parents' home to report your safety. In ancient times, modern transportation was inconvenient. If a woman's in-laws are far away from her parents' home, the so-called married husband may not have a chance to return to her parents' home when she arrives.

Therefore, returning to the door may be a woman's last chance to set foot in the family. Because of this, people attach great importance to visiting their parents, which is a wedding custom.