How did men and women perform rituals in ancient times?
Asking names is the second of the six rituals. In other words, the man sent a matchmaker to the woman's house to ask her name and birthday. After getting Geng Tie back, Buji folded his character. "Yili? Shi Hunli: "Bin Zhiyan, what's your name? "Master Xu, guest admission." Zheng Xuan's note: "Anyone who asks his name will have good or bad luck." Jia Gong Yan Shu: "If you ask your first name, ask your female surname."
The third of Najib's six rites. After asking the name and matching the eight characters, the man informs the woman of the good omen of marriage and presents her engagement. This is etiquette. In ancient times, Naji also offered a goose feast. Zheng Xuan's note: "It's a good omen to return to the temple, and then send an envoy to tell you that the marriage is settled." In the Song Dynasty, most people were engaged by Buji in the form of marriage. In the Ming dynasty, it was replaced by the general book of the media and marriage. In the Qing Dynasty, Najib Yiyi was involved in the process of asking names and getting married. During the Republic of China, there was no Naji instrument, only a simple Buji instrument, and the woman Geng was placed in front of the kitchen god. If there is no abnormality within three days, it will be regarded as smooth, and men and women will get married.
Levi is also called "Nacheng" and "Nabi". The fourth of six ceremonies. It is the man who gives the bride price to the woman. Book of rites? Confucius Ying Da's Diligence and Confusion: "The money collected is also collected by those who receive it. Sign, into also. Hire money before getting married. "It was not until Najib learned that the woman agreed to get married that the man felt that it was feasible to receive the bride price. It is the only etiquette among the six rites that does not use geese, which shows that the ancients have distinct righteousness and etiquette. Gifts collected in past dynasties are all customized, and many items such as jewelry and fine silks are used by the people for women's employment, which is called collecting money and later evolved into gifts.
Invitation date is also called notification date, commonly known as date selection. The fifth of the six ceremonies. It was the man who sent someone to the woman's house to inform her of the wedding date. "Yili? Shi Hunli: "Please use the goose, the host says goodbye, and the guest tells the date as a gift. "Invitation ceremonies have always been like this, that is, the male family sent envoys to the female family to invite the date, give gifts, then give a speech to explain the wedding date set, the female father accepted it, and finally the envoys returned to me. In the Qing Dynasty, the date of invitation was often called a letter or telegram, that is, the date of ceremony, wedding date and other related matters were written down by the man's family in red paper, and sent to the woman's home by the matchmaker or himself to discuss the wedding matters with her family.
Kissing is also called welcome. The sixth of the six ceremonies. It is etiquette for the groom to marry the bride himself and go home. The Book of Songs? Daya？ Daming: "A great country has a son, a heavenly sister, and a female general, Quexiang, who knows Wei." The wedding began in the Zhou Dynasty, and the queen was also pro-Weishui when she got married. This ceremony is the beginning of the wedding. There are various forms of welcoming ceremony. In the Qing dynasty, the groom greeted him personally, wore red flowers, rode horses, or took a sedan chair to her husband's house, and the best man praised her parents and relatives. The Yue family wrote an essay with double flowers and red flowers, sailed for three weeks, and then returned first. The bride was wrapped in brocade by her brother and others and carried on the sedan chair. After getting off the bus, several relatives of the bride's family accompanied her and said "farewell", and the groom greeted her at home.
From the Zhou Dynasty to the end of the Qing Dynasty, in the marriage according to the Six Rites, except for the invitation (engagement) ceremony, the other five rites required the man's envoy to hold the goose as a gift for the woman's family. Because geese are migratory birds, they migrate from the north to the south every once in a while with the change of climate, and their spouses are fixed. One dies, and the other no longer chooses a spouse. The ancients believed that the flying geese from south to north conformed to yin and yang, the fixed spouse conformed to benevolence, righteousness and propriety, and the marriage was based on geese, symbolizing the harmony between yin and yang of a man and a woman, and also symbolizing the loyalty and singleness of marriage. Later, because geese became more and more rare, people used woodcut geese instead. In modern times, three kinds of live birds, goose, duck and chicken, are used to replace the ceremony of giving geese to ensure the harmony of marriage. With the gift of goose, North Korea and other countries also use it.
Discussing marriage is also called discussing relatives. On the initial stage of marriage, that is, the three stages of accepting gifts, asking names and Najib in the six rites. The man sends someone to the woman's house to propose marriage, and then goes through the formalities of job exchange, auspiciousness, marriage, blind date, etc. until the engagement. Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio? Frog God: "Although I forgot, I dare not discuss his surname."
Obtaining relatives with permission is the first of the six rituals. Yip Wong's Preface to Gui Zhexu in Yuan Dynasty? Answer "Song": "I'll ask Ken a hundred cups of tea, and then I'll ask him dozens of poems. "
Marriage is also called eight characters, and it was called Buji in ancient times. It is understood that marriage is one of the procedures in the name-asking ceremony. At the beginning of marriage negotiation, after writing the eight characters, review the names and birth dates of both men and women. Ancient people went their separate ways, asking ghosts and gods and suing temples. Modern teachers of Yin and Yang are invited to talk about whether the life of men and women is consistent. If they are consistent, they will get married. If we contain each other, marriage will fail. The birth dates of both parties will be returned.
Pressing Geng is also called pressing posts. It is one of the contents of the Six Rites Naji. After matching the eight-character posts of both parties, the man's family put the Geng post in the gift box, pressed the card and gave it to the woman's family. In addition, put the other person's eight-character sticker under the memorial tablet of his own temple or ancestor or under the incense burner for testimony, and the intention will be identified first. If the family is safe within three days, it is feasible to get married, also known as pressing Geng.
Blind date is also called "seeing each other". That is, after the marriage negotiation stage is changed, the matchmaker will contact and arrange for the two sides to meet face to face. Dating ceremonies in previous dynasties were similar. In the old society, men and women did not know each other, but were arranged by their parents.
Engagement is a ceremony to conclude an engagement. Through this ceremony, it means that the marriage of both parties is officially decided. In ancient times, the man took geese as a gift and went to the woman's house to talk about marriage. The goose became a symbol of marriage. In modern times, decorations, clothes and food are sent to women's homes as gifts. After the gift, the engagement is completed. Engagement is in the form of marriage certificate and money gift. In feudal society, engagement is a necessary procedure for marriage, and neither party can go back on his word. After the founding of New China, engagement is no longer a legal procedure. Both men and women need to register as long as they are voluntary and conform to the provisions of the Marriage Law.
It is understood that after the engagement, the man's parents go to the woman's house to burn incense with the woman's parents and pray for God's blessing. After the ceremony, the woman held a banquet. Taste the soup first, serve four bowls of clear soup, cross the mouth of the bowl with red lines, and drop copper coins on the line to show marriage. After tasting the soup, put four pig's trotters on the plate, put red flowers on each plate, put a knife on the plate, and wrap HongLing around the handle. This is called offering flowers, which means signing an engagement. After tasting the soup and offering flowers, the wedding was officially completed.
Discussion on employment is a procedure in which a man and a woman agree to get married and the matchmaker negotiates the type and quantity of the man's dowry and the woman's dowry. Generally, it is determined according to the family status and property of both parties and the personality of married men and women, which obviously has traces of buying and selling marriage.
Insertion is a special ceremony to send a promised wedding token. The man proposed his engagement to the woman's house and sent the jewelry inserted by the woman to the woman's house as a token of love. "The Scholars" 27: "But I explained that there is no in-laws in his family, so don't ask Mrs. Bao to do it herself."
Giving a bride price is also called giving a bride price, giving a gift, giving a gift, giving a bride price, letting go, making a decision, expanding the market, recruiting people and giving a bride price. According to Guangzhou etiquette, the bride price is paid by the man to the woman before marriage. The quantity and quality of gifts vary from place to place, mainly depending on the wealth of families. Southern Song Dynasty? Wu, did you dream? Marriage: "As for the bride price, the rich have to prepare three gold, so gold, gold and gold fall are also true." If the home is covered with chairs, or there is no gold ware, it is necessary to use silver plating instead. Otherwise, if the rich and the poor are different, they will follow suit, and there is no definite law. "Gifts are given according to the ritual system, and the consent of the woman is also required. The essence is to combine giving and giving. Before hiring, the matchmaker holds a gift card (gift list) to discuss with the woman's family. Often there are many disputes on quantity and quality between the two sides, which need to be discussed several times before deciding. When recruiting people, the man prepares a gift book, puts it on a red lacquer wooden tray, queues up with gifts on his shoulders, and sends it to the woman's house with drum music. The female family helps to show gifts to her relatives and neighbors. The woman accepted, and the engagement was formally established after the bride price was paid.
Counteroffer is also called return gift, return feeling and reply. Before marriage, the man gives a dowry, and the woman will give a certain bride price as appropriate after accepting it. Southern Song Dynasty? Wu, did you dream? Marriage ":"The man chooses the date to hire, and (the woman) returns the gift. "Because the reply is often put on the plate, it is called a reply.
Good days are also good days. It is understood that a beautiful day is a suitable day for marriage. It should be calculated according to the ecliptic, or selected by Yin and Yang teachers, or selected according to the almanac. Li Shangyin's Raven in Tang Dynasty: "How can you be careless with clever words? A good moment may not have a good time. " "Water Margin": "Today is a good day. Xianmei and Wang Ying got married." Most people pay attention to the date, season and month when choosing an auspicious day.
Accompanying gifts is also called escorting members, and collecting money. It is understood that the dowry ceremony is that before men and women get married, relatives and friends pay the money according to the agreed amount, and then make a gift for the men and women who are ready to get married. In the past, gifts were limited to relatives and friends of the man's family, and relatives and friends of the modern woman's family have since become vulgar.
Adding a box is also called adding a room It is understood that after receiving the invitation from the man's family, the woman's family wrote the auspicious day of her marriage as a wedding sticker and sent it to relatives and friends. Relatives and friends who receive wedding stickers are usually given to the woman's family as gifts. The difference between adding boxes and making up is that money and things are not given directly to the bride, but to her family. This is a kind of etiquette exchange between families.