How do you express your love for someone?
You can't express your love only by your love and boldness. If you want to express your success, you need to wait for the time to come. It's not too late to act after you have a solid emotional foundation and a common vision for the future and are ready to express your love.
What exactly does it mean when the time is right? Before giving my answer, let's discuss the significance and value of confession and what kind of confession is a successful confession.
I think there is only one evaluation criterion for successful confession-
After the confession, you have reached a * * * understanding of the next development of the relationship.
Before the formal discussion, let me tell you a recent incident.
Two days ago, I went to a university in Shanghai to give a lecture. After class, a little girl caught up with me and told me her troubles:
She said that she had a very good friend of the opposite sex in high school, and they were regarded as buddies. Later, everyone went to college and was admitted to two different universities in Shanghai.
Before the end of the first half of the freshman semester, the other party suddenly came over and confessed to himself. The girl was afraid of losing this friend and agreed. But this agreement does not matter, and the days when brothers are commensurate are gone forever. New boyfriends always call her "dear" on WeChat, because everyone thinks it's normal to have boyfriends and girlfriends. But she felt sick, uncomfortable and unbearable.
But even so, the girl didn't dare to tell the truth to each other, so she only agreed too impulsively and deeply regretted it. She not only regrets, but also suffers-what should she do?
If you continue, you really feel bad; If you tell the truth and tell the other person, "I agreed that your confession was wrong before, but now I want to go back on my word", I am afraid I will lose this friend forever. In this way, I lost my lover and a friend. I feel that the cost is higher and it seems inappropriate. What should I do?
Let's not consider this specific problem for the time being, because this is the little girl's own business. I hope that through her story, one question that makes you think is: Is the boy who confessed to her successful?
I guess everyone will be divided into two factions:
One school will say, isn't this confession a success? All the girls agreed to be your girlfriends. This confession must be successful. Others will think that this confession is not successful at all, and there is no basis for love between other girls and you. She still treats you as a friend and never treats you as a boyfriend.
So, which faction do you support?
In my opinion, this is of course a failed confession-after the confession, the two sides actually did not reach an understanding on the next development of the relationship.
The true successful confession is not necessarily that you two verbally promise to be lovers from now on through a ceremony, but that you two have a common understanding of the next development: shall we be lovers? Or continue to be friends? Or do you want to take another look? This is called * * * knowledge, which is also called confession success.
So the example I cited above can only be called seemingly successful, but in fact it still failed.
After establishing a correct understanding of confession, our next topic is to consider what alternative forms of confession exist and what kind of relationship foundation will lead to confession. Appropriate confession should be combined with appropriate scenes and emotional tone, so that you can make love with beautiful women in the opposite company in the office building with folk songs. Do you think the success rate is great?
So next, I'm going to tell you the science of confession.
Types of confession
The first is passion-induced confession.
This kind of confession is the first to push the classic love bridge of Titanic. Little rotten Jack and a new woman Rose, one just won a boat ticket with a dream, and the other fled the party and yearned for freedom. They met at the most emotional moment, not so much the brewing of emotions as the outbreak of emotions, which is difficult to express.
From the first meeting to the brave confession, it may not take long to brew. Strong emotional experience can enhance the possibility of love at first sight and effectively improve the psychological energy reserve before confession.
Agitation brings the feeling of love at first sight, which lowers the threshold of confession. If both parties are excited, the success rate of confession will be further improved. But don't be too happy. Such a confession can easily lead to "regret immediately after agreeing."
Some studies have found that within 48 hours after confession, the incidence of regret and rebellion between the two sides is very high. Many times, it is because the scene of confession contains too many emotional factors and impulsive decisions, so once people calm down, it is easy to think about it and feel that it is better to disagree.
In short, if both of you are highly aroused, confession may not require much preparation. If you want to confess, you don't have to wait long. But be careful: the other party promised now, but called tomorrow morning-
"hello? Forget what I said last night, okay? 」
What do you think this can do?
The second is called the accumulation of childhood friends.
Some lovers are relatives for many years before they become lovers, even to the point where girls are boys' "brothers" and boys are girls' "sisters". Boys, children and children are hurt by love among thousands of people. In retrospect, they found that TA was true love. The long-term experience of * * * together with * * naturally cultivated the emotional foundation of confession. This training process may not be radical, but fortunately it is long enough.
Among the reasons why couples break up, which one do you think ranks first?
Financial problems? Lack of * * * time? Still rarely go out to play together? Neither-"three views disagree" is the seed player. If you want to fall in love, it is more important to look at the three views than the eight-character combination. In the same way, people don't deny that you are a good person, but think that you "lack similarities."
There are also childhood experiences, so make sure that the three views are consistent, that there are enough topics and strong similarities in life. One day, ignorance became an impulse to know nothing, years and memories became strength, so confession naturally happened.
However, this confession is also risky. For some people, "love" is actually not as important as that "best friend". If your confession is successful, the other person does gain a lover, but the other person may also think that he has lost a best friend at the same time. This is not necessarily a good thing for the future development of relations. If you want to make a good confession in this situation, I'm afraid you should make the other person feel safe enough and come to the conclusion that if we upgrade from friends to lovers, I won't lose a good friend, but gain a closer friend.
The third kind of confession is special, that is, confession in a hurry.
If you have seen the disaster film The Day After Tomorrow, you can understand what I want to say.