Taiwan Province immigrant lottery table
The famous school complex of parents in Taiwan Province Province and the United States began in kindergarten. Many parents have moved their children from childhood, moved their household registration cards, or started drawing lots from kindergartens to send their children to star schools with good reputation, distinctive features, rich courses, high enrollment rate and some strong school teams. I hope a good beginning is half the battle.
However, Washington post cited the latest report of the American National Academy of Science, Engineering and Medicine, and pointed out that this good start, like many children who have done bad things in life (such as children born in poverty, foster care, new immigrants, and children whose parents are in prison), are "high-risk" students, and behavioral and psychological problems occur more frequently than ordinary children.
Because the children in famous schools are under too much pressure. In the eyes of most people, they are either talented or caring. They enjoy a lot of social resources and are really not qualified to compare with the pressure of ordinary people. "My parents asked me where their pressure came from, so I asked,' What didn't give them pressure? Suniya Luthar, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University, was the first to discover that these "privileged elements" were as poor as the disadvantaged children born in11990s, and their parents invested too much in their children, expecting to get all A's; For their reputation in the school, the club, the school team coach and the instructor all hope that they can win the game; The faculty and staff of the school hope that their entrance examination results will be among the best and win glory for famous schools.
High pressure puts a psychological burden on children who seem to be winners in life. Famous students seem to have entered a "pressure ecosystem". In order to get a better resume, join the school team and strive for ranking, we have fierce competition with our peers in all aspects, hoping to get into a good university, find a good job and earn a lot of money. Even if ordinary children feel relaxed in sports, music and other activities, they can't relax and enjoy, and their values and outlook on success are easily distorted.
To make matters worse, because most of them are winners in life, or they are all smart and talented, and their parents have resources to help them, their emotions are ignored and they are easy to fall into high-risk situations.
Stanford University has conducted a survey of 43,000 famous students, and found that half of junior high school students and three-quarters of senior high school students feel great academic pressure, and two-thirds of middle school students are often worried that they will not be admitted to an ideal university, which has turned being admitted to a good university into a narrow door to success in life.
The robert wood Johnson Foundation, the largest public health charity in the United States, has also found that children who are relatively rich and under great pressure of success are under the same level of long-term pressure as children who have experienced trauma, discrimination and poverty, which will also affect their physical and mental health.
Rusal's research also found that the incidence of anxiety, depression, drug abuse and illegal behavior among elite students is at least two to three times the national average.
Avoid talking too much about performance, unconditional love and support. He also suggested that teachers should start by observing clues to reduce the risks of these children. For example, from primary school, will children envy their peers too much, be too competitive, cheat, lie, avoid important things asked by their parents, and worry about their grades? In particular, if children's sense of self-worth is based on their own achievements, it may lead to anxiety and depression.
Parents should also talk to their children about values, not achievements. According to a survey of 500 students in prestigious schools in Grade 7 and Grade 8 published in Youth Magazine, if parents talk more about their values and personality traits, such as respect, helping others and kindness, rather than talking about achievements such as good universities, good grades and good jobs, the proportion of children with problematic behaviors will be lower.
Richard Weis *** ourd, a psychologist at Harvard College of Education, also reminded parents not to reveal values that care too much about grades and achievements in their choices of speech and life, such as who they admire.
The most important thing is to set an example. When a family is free, they can plan more time to eat, rest and play together, even more than usual, so that they can be more balanced and have the opportunity to expand their horizons and ideas.
Rusal said that parents' job is to let their children feel their unconditional love and support, and don't let their children build their self-esteem on brilliant personal achievements.