What are the customs of getting married in Tuanbei?
be engaged in
In the past, marriage was entirely arranged by parents. The child was hooked up by the media when he was three or five years old. Before engagement, please ask the fortune teller to judge whether the eight characters match according to the date of birth, zodiac and five elements of both men and women. If you close it, you will change jobs, and the engagement will be established, otherwise it will be ruined. When engaged, the man's family will hold a "matchmaking wine". The poor family can't get engaged, so they have to take a young girl as their future daughter-in-law when their son is young. Some families have no sons, so they first adopt a girl named "Wang Langgu" and marry her after giving birth to a son. These two kinds are child brides.
There is a big age gap between men and women, and there is often an absurd phenomenon that "Eighteen elder sisters are three-year-old lang, daughter-in-law and mother, coaxing him not to cry during the day and coaxing him into the bedroom at night, wishing him not to wet the bed tonight". After the engagement, every traditional festival such as Spring Festival, Duanyang, Mid-Autumn Festival and the birthday of his parents-in-law, the man should prepare gifts such as meat, noodles, rice cakes and clothes to the woman's house for the festival until the wedding. In addition to the above two forms, there is another form of engagement, that is, "adoption", which is called "recruiting a son-in-law" locally. Poor households with many boys are not easy to get engaged, so they send their sons to childless families as husbands. After entering the door, she became a woman's house and gave birth to a child with a female surname.
After the founding of New China, arranged marriages became very rare, and free love and late marriage and childbearing became fashionable. However, the marriage cases blocked by the "eight characters" did not disappear.
(of two families) exchange visits after becoming relatives through marriage.
After the engagement, the man should bring a bride price to the woman's house, which is called "crossing the street". Gifts include: clothes, jewelry, cash and so on. Gifts for girls, for women's families (clothes and shoes) and for women's relatives (each family has a piece of meat). The woman accompanied the guests with relatives and elders and set up a sommelier. When the new son-in-law passed by to recognize relatives, all the women in the woman's family tried their best to play tricks. Some add water to tea, some put Chili powder in broth, some deliberately undercooked meat or chicken, and drew pictures on their faces.
Welcome and bid farewell to this day
After the engagement, when young men and women reach a certain age, the man takes gifts to the woman's house to discuss the wedding date, which is called "wedding ceremony". After the woman agrees, the book is officially delivered. The man asks the fortune teller to count, set the wedding date, write a post, and formally inform the woman's home, commonly known as "delivery day", as well as clothes and jewelry for the woman, pork, cake and sugar for relatives. On this day, the woman brought her closest relatives to her home to accompany her guests, which also sent a signal to relatives and friends that her daughter was getting married. Since then, the woman has stepped up preparations for the dowry. On the morning of the wedding, the man sent someone to carry the dowry. The more dowry, the longer the wedding procession, the more glorious it is.
Pick up the bride (in a sedan chair) for the wedding.
After lunch, the man sent a man and two women (Candle Gu) to visit the bride's house. After arriving at the woman's house, the young girls and young women of the woman's house are not allowed to enter the house, and cigarettes and sugar are required for bride price (one red paper is one yuan and two yuan). The man's receiver threw the things he brought in through the door and forced them in when they grabbed them. Men's Nuo and Candle Gu are made by women, girls and young women, and most of them are painted with red ink or pot ash. And the big troops who greeted the wedding met on the road. Couplets are written on both sides of the bride's sedan chair. Some men only write the first couplet, and the second couplet allows the woman to continue, in order to test whether there are talents in the woman's family. When the sedan chair arrived at the man's house and walked around the door, the drums stopped ringing. The teacher gave a thank-you speech to the sedan chair, calling it "the comeback". Legend has it that the ancestors of the female family came in a sedan chair, and "returning to the horse" means sending them back to their ancestors. Then the couple will worship heaven and earth first, and then enter the bridal chamber to drink the wine of perfection.
Scatter accounts and make trouble in the bridal chamber
After drinking, a ceremony of "spreading tents" was held: "One scatters happiness to die, the other scatters mandarin ducks in pairs, the third scatters three yuan and the four seasons are auspicious, the fifth scatters five sons to be admitted, the sixth scatters happiness, the seventh scatters seven stars are splendid, the eighth scatters the whole family's well-being, the ninth scatters forever, and the tenth scatters are complete ..." After the banquet, a new house was set up, commonly known as three-day marriage, and all elders and younger generations can participate, regardless of size. Peanuts and beans (some raw) brought by the bride were divided up by everyone's guns. In the process of eating, some people spit out "born, born" from time to time. This is the artistic effect that the main family wants, which indicates that the new couple will have many children and grandchildren.
Crying marriage
In all parts of Xishui, when daughters grow up and get married, they all have the custom of crying and marrying, which is very similar to the ancient and unique marriage custom of Tujia nationality. Some began to cry half a month or even months before marriage, and some cried the day before marriage; Some people cry alone, while others cry with their sisters, brothers and sisters, parents, relatives and friends. There are many things to cry about, such as the virtue of ancestors, the kindness of parents, the friendship of sisters, the virtue of brothers and sisters, the love of hometown and so on. And some cried and scolded the matchmaker (fake scold). Most of them are lingering words, and the rhythm is in the form of seven words and eight sentences, and there are also five words and seven sentences. For example, "When I grow up, I will leave, and my mother will never come back", "When I step out of a house, I will be a guest, and when I step into a house, I will be home" and so on, and shouts like "Mom, daughter" are interspersed among them. When you cry, sometimes you feel depressed, sometimes you feel high, sometimes you are sad, and sometimes you are happy. The wedding day is the climax of crying. People who cry, including nephews and nieces, have to pay money. This money is called "tears money".