What words are useful for praising children? Is there anything simple and effective?

But recently a parent told us backstage that he didn't know how to praise his children. She has seen a lot of family education experience and understands that praise is better than criticism, but every time she praises, she always says something like "you are great" and "you are smart", and it doesn't play a key role.

Because the real praise is not reflected in these general praises.

Whether a person can succeed is related to his way of thinking. The way of thinking can be roughly divided into two categories, one is? Growth thinking? , one is? Fixed thinking? . The difference between the two is that the former believes that his ability can be improved through hard work; The latter thinks that their intelligence and ability are quantitative and will not change.

Professor Carol Dweck of Stanford once did an experiment on the development of praise mode and thinking mode? , and finally found that:

Children with fixed thinking patterns think that hard work and difficulties make them feel stupid; Children who grow up thinking mode think that hard work and difficulties can create new neuronal connections and make their brains smarter and smarter.

Children with growth thinking are not easy to give up, so they can enjoy the process. Therefore, praising the child's talent, rather than praising his efforts, strategies and choices, is slowly killing his growth thinking.

So how should parents express their praise for their children? Extreme parents will help you.

Praise efforts

When children get good grades, which of the following two ways of praise is better?

Method 1: "Baby, you did really well in the exam!"

Method 2: "You did really well in the exam. You must be working hard. Keep cheering! "

Praise children to some extent. Children will not pursue the ultimate and challenge themselves in future studies, but will often choose simple tasks, because he hopes to complete them smoothly and get affirmation.

And the second way to praise children, children will? Dare to challenge more difficult tasks? . In contrast, the latter naturally grows faster than the former.

Open Phoenix News to see more high-definition pictures.

Praise perseverance

When a child tries challenging tasks, such as breaking the game of Go and trying rock climbing, please remember to affirm his patience and perseverance after countless attempts and failures.

Contrast: Come on, you can do it! Parents said: persistence is the greatest success, behave well and continue to cheer! This will give children more encouragement, and will not bring too much pressure to give up halfway, so children are more likely to succeed.

Praise the details

When the child's ability is improved to a certain extent, remember to praise the details, the more specific the better.

For example, dear, your swimming posture is more standard now, and your air exchange frequency is more even, which has made great progress than before!

This kind of praise is more? Can let children pay attention to their own details, details are the key to success or failure.

Praise creativity

Children's imagination is the richest. When his unconstrained style is recognized, he will be more willing to think about the world and life.

Children's creativity is the accumulation of creativity and thinking. ? Therefore, when a child is willing to share his creativity with you, be sure to give him praise.

A complimentary attitude

Attitude determines quality. For example, parents should give a positive attitude to children who consciously preview the learning content after completing their homework.

Praise the spirit of cooperation

No matter how clever a child is, he can't always do all the work by himself in the future. Being able to cooperate well with peers is actually to cultivate children's ability to communicate with others and unite and cooperate.

It is important to praise children's cooperative spirit. When the children finish their group work, tell them, "Your group Qi Xin works together for the same goal. This spirit should also be maintained in the future life!

Praise leadership.

Although some things are not entirely done by the child himself, he is in charge of management and he does well. Because he has a strong sense of responsibility and leadership, this must be praised.

Let the child know that although he didn't personally participate in every step, you achieved it, which is a very important factor.

Praise courage

Praising a child's courage is the best time to help him improve his confidence index.

Courage is a child's external performance and a child's profound understanding of himself. For example, children dare to let go of their parents' hands when they learn to swim, and children are not afraid to learn to ride bicycles.

Parents should encourage their children: "Dare to face difficulties is the best quality!"

Help children to take risks, be confident, and feel confident and calm when walking independently in the world.

Praise and care

Details are often reflected in small things, and details reflect children's comprehensive and multi-angle thinking.

For example, before traveling, careful children will be optimistic about the weather forecast and make strategies. At this time, parents should praise his thoughtfulness.

Praise credit

A person's betrayal is a shame. Good credit is a quality that must be cultivated? So we should help children understand the importance of honesty in time.

For example, when you reach an agreement with your child, parents can say:

"I believe you, because everything you said before has come true."

"I believe you, you will find a good way ..."

Praise modesty

Learning good advice and experience from others can also improve your ability. People with growth thinking generally have the mentality of learning from others with an open mind, winning without arrogance and losing with grace.

The child succeeded, not just boasting. It is necessary to guide children to sum up their gains and losses and let them continue to work hard.

When children fail, let them? Learn to take advice from others? When children listen carefully to other people's suggestions, they must praise them.

Praise the choice

We can accomplish the task well, sometimes because of our efforts, but sometimes because we made the right choice. Praise the child for making the right choice? It is also the key to cultivating growth thinking.

Parents, think again when you want to tell your children that you are great? How can praise help them grow better?

Anyway? Praise is a way of education? The starting point is to let children establish a sense of responsibility, self-confidence, self-esteem and initiative, get rid of bad habits, and develop good behaviors and thinking habits such as independence, good thinking, unity and cooperation, perseverance, patience, and the ability to find and solve problems.