Husband and wife get along: respect is more important than blame?
Your question is very good. When couples get along, respect is more important than accusation.
Important matters between husband and wife in the family should be discussed in advance, and it is best not to be arbitrary. Sometimes it is too late to discuss, so we should tell each other as soon as possible afterwards, explain the situation and get each other's understanding. This is a sign of respect for each other;
(1) For example, my wife's younger brother wants to buy a house and borrow tens of thousands of dollars for turnover. My sister has to tell her younger brother that the money at home can only be decided after two people discuss it:
"I'll give you the information when I get home and discuss it with your brother-in-law."
When they got home, they sat together, and the husband and wife talked about their brother's borrowing money to see if their opinions could be supported by their relatives.
"What's your answer?" The husband asked his wife.
"I said, I'll discuss it with your brother-in-law when I get home, and then tell him." This practice of a wife is a respect for her husband. The husband said:
"What do you think?"
"Before and after we got married, my brother was busy and helped a lot. Now I ask for money. I think buying a house is a serious matter. This is a great event. I still have some money and I should lend it to him. "
"They borrowed money, and the next step is to repay the mortgage. Where did the money come from? "
"My father and mother said that the old couple's money was given to their son, and the money borrowed later came out of the old couple's salary. Two years, maybe. Think about it, this is the case, can you help my brother? "
This discussion is very good, basically achieving mutual respect.
If the wife promised her younger brother at home and went home to withdraw money, the husband would think, why not discuss such a big matter before lending it out? !
Unrespected self-determination can lead to quarrels between husband and wife. Because the husband felt that he didn't get due respect at home, he began to blame his wife. The language may not be nice. This situation is to lay a hidden danger of disharmony in the future. If the husband says:
"You don't discuss this matter, you make decision without authorization. You haven't said the money yet. I always want to borrow money from you in the future. How much money do you have? "
This is the language of reproach. At this time of the atmosphere, the wife only has to pay more smiles to convince her, and she loses confidence. If the wife is in high spirits:
"I have said I would lend it to him, so I can't go back on my word, can I?"
"I have money to borrow, but I have no money!"
When things come to this, it is difficult to solve them. This is the result of making decisions without respect for each other.
(2) The way of husband and wife is to respect each other. There's nothing wrong with two people sitting together when things happen.
In principle, discuss it before adding big items to your home, which will not cost much and save a lot of quarrels and disputes between two people.
A few years ago, after my nephew got married, they often quarreled. My niece is afraid of wasting electricity at home. My nephew turned on the computer and turned off the TV.
Two people don't discuss anything, she said:
"Don't turn on the computer when watching TV, and don't turn on the TV when turning on the computer!" Two people are not negotiable.
They often quarrel about such things. There are many small quarrels, and when they gradually become major events, they are even more noisy; Everything at home is quarrelling, and there is no way to blame each other. After several years, the two finally divorced.
One party always blames and does not give respect, which will change the good relationship between husband and wife. Sometimes it is right or wrong, and it is completely unclear.
Between husband and wife, it is better to respect each other and blame as little as possible.