The marriage process in ancient times can be said no matter what dynasty.
No matter when and where, the wedding is considered as a great gift in the ceremony of life. But from ancient times to modern times, people's understanding of it is very different.
The ancients thought it was an unshirkable task for the younger generation to carry on the family line, that is, the so-called "there are three unfilial things, and no posterity is great." Therefore, the marriage ceremony of male and female mating and bearing children is placed in a very important position.
Wedding is closely related to the marriage system, which reflects people's civilization from one side. Like other nationalities in the world, the ancestors of the Chinese nation, whose main body is the Han nationality, experienced the stage of disorderly marriage and group marriage in primitive times, and basically adopted the form of monogamous marriage after entering civilized society.
The original wedding form began at the end of primitive society, and gradually evolved from the engagement ceremony in Fuxi era, to the "wedding ceremony in the hall" in Xia and Shang dynasties, and then to the complete "six ceremonies" in Zhou Dynasty, which initially laid the foundation for the traditional wedding in China. After several generations of development, various wedding ceremonies have become more complicated and enthusiastic.
Generally speaking, traditional weddings in China can be divided into three stages: pre-wedding ceremony, formal wedding ceremony and post-wedding ceremony.
Prenuptial ceremonies are some ceremonies held in the planning and preparation stage of marriage.
There were five kinds in the pre-Qin period (including receiving gifts, asking names, Naji, receiving gifts, and inviting invitations), and later generations gradually evolved into ritual festivals such as urging makeup, sending makeup, and vacating houses.
In ancient feudal society, marriage depended on "the fate of parents and the words of matchmakers". Therefore, all the pre-marital ceremonies, including a series of links from choosing a spouse to preparing for a formal wedding, are almost arranged by both parents, but the parties to a real marriage are excluded.
Because men's social status is more noble than women's, most marriage proposals are initiated by men. If the man's parents want to marry their son, they should first ask the media envoy to propose to the woman's family (called "release"). If the woman accepts the marriage, they will begin to accept gifts and ask names and other ceremonies.
Nakai: This is the first step for a man to formally propose to a woman.
On the day when the two sides agreed to hold the ceremony of accepting talents, the media sent by the male family held a live wild goose as a gift (at first, the wild goose was used as a gift, that is, the wild goose was used as a migratory bird, flying in the south in autumn and returning to the north in spring, and sometimes it came and went, never breaking its promise, as a symbol of loyalty between men and women; And fly and stop with geese to make it clear that marriage must be orderly and insurmountable.
Later, he painted with lambs, white geese, acacia and glue paint. As a gift) and came to the woman's door. He said to the person who refused the woman's house (the person who assisted in the salute): "Your master is very kind and gave XXX (the husband's name) a wife. XXX (husband or brother) asked me to ask your master to hold a ceremony to choose a lady in your home according to the regulations left by his ancestors.
After being informed, the hostess went out to meet her. After the host and the guests exchanged a bow, the media envoy once again expressed his intention to come and accept the ceremony. The host reciprocated, accepted the live geese, and made some humility. As soon as the matchmaker saw that the marriage was officially approved by the woman's parents, he left and came back to me.
Makeup and dressing room: These three ceremonies were not recorded in the pre-Qin literature, but developed by later generations in the evolution of weddings.
Makeup Festival is a musical instrument festival. In this festival, men will send people with gifts to urge women to make up their brides as soon as possible. In the Song Dynasty, three days before the wedding, male families would send makeup-promoting flower buns, gold sales headscarves, flower fans and other things to female families, and female families should use gold and silver to win royalty, Hualuopu heads, green robes, boots and other things.
Send makeup, a few days before the wedding, the bride's family sent someone to send the dowry to the man's house. Dowry is usually packed in a box. Some people spread it out on a square table to show off their dowry and send it to the man's house in a row. Dowry usually includes boxes, bedding, jewelry, clothes, silks and satins, Four Treasures of the Study and gold and silver utensils, as well as fields, houses, shops and pawn shops. In Zhejiang, there is a kind of dowry called "Tong Tong" (there is a big lid on the bucket for the bride to have a baby). The bucket contains red eggs and happy fruit, which is called "giving away children", which means blessing. In Shaoxing area, there is "daughter wine" as a dowry, that is, after the daughter is full moon or several years old, several winemaking jars are buried underground and taken out as a dowry for the man's family on the day of her marriage.
Laying a house is a ceremony in which a woman sends someone to a man's house to lay a new house, sometimes at the same time as sending cosmetics. In the Song Dynasty, the day before the wedding ceremony, women's families would send people to the new house to lay curtains, bedding and other appliances in the room and prepare gifts to warm the house. Then use a trusted woman or married woman to guard the room, not allowing outsiders to enter, waiting for new people. The shopkeeper must be a "good woman" with a long life, and a well-off family can get good luck. This custom is still popular in some modern places.
Kissing: It is a ceremony for the groom to marry the bride at the bride's house, and it is also the most complicated and grand ceremony in ancient and modern weddings.
According to the book Yili's Wedding. On the night of the wedding, the bride put on her wedding dress-pure red lace dress (silk dress) and wore a "second" (braided wig) on her head. In the room of Xiangnan station, the nanny stood on her right, and the bride's waitress stood behind in a white and black coat. When the groom is wearing a formal dress, he leads a team consisting of ink carts (the groom takes the car), floats (the bride takes the car with curtains), slave carts, servants, etc. Arriving at the bride's door, the hostess came out to meet her in person. After some courtesy, the two sides came to the class, and the groom made a ceremony to his father-in-law (the heaviest bow-down ceremony in ancient times took a long time to kowtow). In the meantime, give her a dress as a warning. Then, the bride came to her mother on the west steps. Her mother tied a belt around her waist and put on a scarf, and then warned her: "Be diligent and respectful, and do the housework that your parents-in-law told you to do." Later, the bride and groom walked to the gate together. The bride put on a dust-proof coat, boarded the float and took the drive belt from the groom. So, the groom drove the float forward. After the wheel turned for three weeks, the groom gave the car to the driver. He took the ink car first because he had to pick up the bride at home.
Wedding banquets are handed down from generation to generation, including sedan chairs, happy cars and floats. Most of the bride's wedding dresses are crested with dragon and phoenix patterns and colorful ornaments, and the hanging silk tassels cover her face. Some people also wear red scarves and paper fans. When the groom arrives at the woman's house, the bride often cries and refuses to get on the sedan chair, so the bride's relatives and friends have to try it in public-ask the groom to write a poem, and the bride will get on the sedan chair after the groom recites "Poetry for Makeup" on the spot. Before getting on the sedan chair, the woman's family first asked the woman to take a lamp or mirror to shine in the sedan chair, which is called "taking a photo inside the sedan chair", thinking that this can suppress evil spirits. In modern times, after the sedan chair is lifted, the woman pours a pot of water at the door. The original intention is that water can purify filth, and of course it can also cure evil spirits and ghosts. Later, it evolved into "the water spilled by the married daughter"-I wish my daughter a harmonious relationship with her husband's family after marriage and will not be rejected.
On the way to greet the man's family, the sedan chair is very imposing: the escort is in front, followed by deacons, lanterns, drums and music, and then the bride's sedan chair. Blowing along the road presents a festive scene. When the sedan chair welcomes the man's family, the neighbors ask for auspicious money, which is called "blocking the door": the farewell person scatters copper coins into the air, and the children scramble to grab them, which is called "all over the sky". Another person holds a flower bucket and scatters grain, beans, money, fruit and other things at the door-it is said that this is to avoid evil spirits that stop the bride from entering the door-which is called ". The bride is getting off the sedan chair, but her feet can't touch the ground. She can only wear green cloth strips, felt mats or sacks. Because the ancients believed that the earth and the sky were sacred, once the bride's feet touched the land, it would inevitably offend the land god, so it must be covered with blankets or cushions to avoid it. This custom was recorded in Bai Juyi's poem "Marrying a Woman in Spring Festival" in the Tang Dynasty: "The felt mattress in Tsing Yi is inclined in color. "In the Song Dynasty, the mat was changed to mat, which was called" passing mat "or" passing bag ",that is, mat or sack was passed around until the bridal chamber, and the homophonic word" Yu "of mat (that is, children and descendants) and the homophonic word" generation "of bag meant to carry on the family line. Later, some strong relatives of the woman's family lifted the bride from the sedan chair and boarded the bed. So far, it has become the bride's brother-in-law who carries the bride up and down the sedan chair.
When the bride comes to the new house, she must cross the saddle to show peace, and some even cross the fire to suppress evil.
Visiting the church: it is a ceremony for the bride to worship God, father, relatives and husband after going through the door.
In the pre-Qin period, the bride met her in-laws in the early morning on the second day of her wedding. After bathing, the bride was guided by her praise to see her in-laws. The bride walked to her father-in-law's table with a bamboo board full of dates and chestnuts in her hand, bowed to the east, then stepped forward, knelt down, put the bamboo board on the table, touched it with her father-in-law's hand, stood up and bowed back, and bowed again. Then she went downstairs to class, took the bamboo board full of dried meat from the waitress and went to her mother-in-law's table to perform the same ceremony as before.
Then, instead of her parents-in-law, the editor gave the bride a ceremony to give her sweet wine. Then, the bride will give the food prepared according to the regulations to her parents-in-law as a "feeding gift" to show that her parents-in-law will take care of her life in the future. On the third day, the parents-in-law returned the gift to their daughter-in-law.
After the in-laws and daughter-in-law toasted each other, the in-laws stepped down from the west stage and the new daughter-in-law stepped down from the Dongtai stage. This is the position of the host, indicating that the new daughter-in-law has obtained the qualification to succeed her mother-in-law as a housewife. On the auspicious day of the third month after meeting her in-laws, the new wife will go to the ancestral hall of her husband's family to hold a "temple fair ceremony"-that is, to visit her ancestors to comfort them. After this series of ceremonies, the new wife officially became a member of the in-laws family.
From the Han and Wei Dynasties to the Tang Dynasty, in the northern region, visiting churches was held in "Lu Qing". The so-called "Lu Qing" is to set up a tent in the southwest corner of the "Jidi" house. The bride stepped into Lu Qing from the specially prepared felt mat, and her parents-in-law followed in the footsteps of the bride, suppressing the soul of her daughter-in-law. After the bride gets started, she worships the pigsty and the stove first, then the husband and wife worship, and then meet her in-laws and relatives the next day.
Later, the ceremony was gradually changed to the wedding night. After the groom marries the bride, he stands in front of the main hall with a knot tied with red and green silks and satins, holding a high fever, a red dragon, a phoenix and a candle, and asks the man's wife to take off the bride's masked towel with a weighing beam or a machine comb.
The bride and groom worship heaven and earth first, and then meet their in-laws and relatives in turn. At this time, admirers and admirers often give gifts to each other. Finally, the husband and wife paid their respects. After the ceremony, the couple were sent to their new house by their relatives and friends.
The combination of banquet and wine: Throughout the ages, banquet is almost an essential ceremony for every newly married couple. Nowadays, "Eating Wedding Banquet" has become the abbreviation of folk wedding.
Of course, the scale of the banquet is different, but the main significance is that the marriage of the bride and groom has been recognized by relatives and friends. Therefore, booze is also the most social link in the wedding. In the pre-Qin era, the bride and groom did not feast with everyone, but set seats in the new house. Under the command of the master of ceremonies, the bride and groom sat opposite each other, took some food and wine according to certain procedures, and then quit, which was not long. At the banquet, the most meaningful ceremony is "combining wine".
"Combining wine" is a ceremony in which the bride and groom hold hands and drink relatively. The glass is split in two, symbolizing that the couple were originally two bodies; Connecting the handle with a thread symbolizes that the two people are connected through marriage; One of them symbolizes that although the couple are still United. The newlyweds eat a pot of food and drink a glass of wine at the banquet, which symbolizes mutual respect, love and intimacy between husband and wife. Because of the profound significance of this ceremony, this program is indispensable in the subsequent wedding. Of course, with the changes of the times, the names are different ("drinking a glass of wine"), the utensils are also changing, and the forms of drinking are also different.
After the Qin and Han Dynasties, before and after the wedding banquet, ceremonies such as "spreading accounts" and tying the knot were added. When the groom welcomes the bride into the new house, the two of them sit opposite each other in the wedding bed account, and then the female guests or emcee who come to attend the wedding sing and throw money and colorful fruits into the account, which is called "throwing the account". Then, give some hair removed from the groom's head in advance to the bride and let her comb her hair with her own hair. This is called "knotting".
After that, the groom got out of bed, went to the outer room to receive congratulations from relatives and friends, and hosted everyone to attend the banquet, while the bride continued to sit in her tent until the banquet was over and the groom returned to his room again.
Harassment: In modern times, this is a ceremony for newlyweds to receive congratulations and play in their new houses on their wedding night. There is a folk saying that "it doesn't matter if you get married for three days" and "it's too funny, the more noisy, the happier you are".
In the pre-Qin era, the end of the bride and groom's banquet marked the basic end of the wedding night ceremony, and then the bride and groom went to sleep.
About the Han Dynasty, the guests and friends attending the wedding were unwilling to give up, so they had the practice of "listening to the room": on the wedding night, people who liked to watch the excitement quietly came to the window of the new house to eavesdrop on the words and actions of the bride and groom, which made them laugh.
Spread to the Jin Dynasty, there was a folk custom of teasing the bride: before it was made public, it was difficult for the bride with all kinds of strange questions and even played practical jokes on the bride.
The later popular "noisy room" may be the evolution of this custom. Different places have different ways and methods of "noisy rooms", and the degree of noisy is also divided into elegance and vulgarity. Sometimes it goes too far, which often brings embarrassment and unhappiness to the host and guests, but because it adds a warm atmosphere to the wedding, this program is often indispensable in later weddings.
Modern wedding process in 2005
Marriage is the top priority in everyone's life. Therefore, throughout the ages, people think that weddings are sacred, and the forms of weddings vary according to different conditions. So, what about the wedding? I really want to share my humble opinion on shooting and planning weddings for all new couples for more than ten years, for reference only.
First of all, find a wedding company that is worth the money.
In the eyes of ordinary people, holding a wedding is a simple matter. But "experienced people" know that this is not the case. It's really not easy to make the wedding classy, connotative, distinctive, tasteful, thoughtful and smooth. Because the wedding "project" has its unusual particularity. It is similar to a performance, but it is not a performance; It can't be like a TV show. No more rehearsals or filming. It must be passed at one time, and it can only succeed, and it is not allowed to fail. Therefore, for more and more newcomers, it is undoubtedly wise to find a professional wedding agency to help them organize their own weddings. However, we must be careful when choosing a wedding company. We should choose a company with more experience, strength and good reputation. It is best to choose a company that has successfully held weddings for people around you, so that you can get to know each other better and feel more secure. When you choose a company from advertisements, you can't just think about being cheap. As we all know, the old saying "You get what you pay for" is not unreasonable. Of course, there are also examples of paying high prices but not getting corresponding services. Therefore, new people might as well walk more and "shop around", but in some key services, they should pay attention to "closing the net immediately", such as cameraman, which is the most important thing in the wedding ceremony.
Secondly, the cameraman is the soul of a full-day wedding.
At present, there are not many excellent first-class wedding photographers in Nanjing, and the wedding time in Nanjing is relatively fixed, so it is impossible for photographers to catch up, so especially in those auspicious days, excellent wedding photographers are increasingly scarce and in short supply. If the newlyweds miss the excellent photographer who is suitable for them because of the price or being too cautious in choosing, it will cause great regret to their wedding. Such regrets have happened in the past. Secondly, I also want to tell new people that after choosing a good photographer, they must not be afraid of trouble. They should contact and communicate with the cameraman as much as possible (it is best to have a heart-to-heart talk), so that the cameraman can know himself better and take beautiful photos according to the personality and characteristics of different new people at work. There are not many things that can be done in the wedding market in Nanjing. Only romantic wedding companies require photographers to communicate with newcomers. Photographers have a common experience, that is, shooting a wedding for their best friends is the most satisfactory wedding for everyone (especially the photographer himself). The reason for this is that there is an emotional connection between photographers and newcomers. In addition to the necessary procedures in the wedding, the characteristics of the couple will be shown as much as possible, rather than rigid, artificial and stylized, which makes people feel smooth, natural, cordial and touching.
Third, you don't have to use a "luxury car" to get married
At present, most newcomers use luxury motorcades, which seems to have become the norm for more than a decade. This way is understandable, but I think whether this form is scientific or not has not been discussed with the different times. The pick-up motorcade emerged in the early 1990s. At that time, there were basically no private cars, and some people couldn't ride a few times in their lifetime. Then take the car as a sedan chair on the wedding day, especially the luxury car as a sedan chair, which is very beautiful. For new families, how much love and money they need to form a high-level escort convoy is a "value" word. Well, many families now have their own "sedan chairs", and cars come and go, which is normal. At this time, the newcomers will sit on "Kadi" and "Routh", and their pride has been greatly reduced. What's more, the motorcade headed by "Kadi" and "Rouse" will cost at least six or seven thousand yuan or even hundreds of thousands of yuan in the wedding season. Aside from this high cost, it is the greatest wish of the new people that all aspects of the wedding day can be smooth and safe. A smooth and safe wedding will herald the happiness and well-being of two people throughout their lives. Therefore, minimizing the risk of every link on the wedding day should be the top priority for new people. According to previous media statistics, the probability of vehicle problems on the wedding day is much higher than other links. For the above reasons, I think it may be wise for new people to avoid the motorcade to pick up their relatives unnecessarily. There are many ways to change the fleet, such as the classical sedan chair, which is traditional and novel, festive and lively; Pick up relatives by car, casual and kind, affectionate; Tricycle is simple and easy-going, elegant and comfortable. Or simply omit the wedding banquet, and it is also good for the bride and groom to wait for the guests at the hotel to hold the wedding together. Why not save the cost of the motorcade, or increase the festive elegance of the wedding scene, or upgrade the delicious grade of the wedding banquet, or reserve it for the honeymoon trip in the future?
Venue: bride's house
Content:
1, the bride washes and eats breakfast, and the bridesmaids and makeup artists prepare the makeup of the bride and bridesmaids.
2. The groom goes with the photographer, cameraman and groomsman to get the bride's bouquet, headdress and VIP flowers, and tie the float. The bride's family had lunch early.
3, the groom enters the door: the groom enters the bride's house, the bride's family "blocks the door", the groom gives a red envelope, and the best man gives the VIP to the bride's parents. The groom proposes to the bride, puts on a diamond ring, the newlyweds offer tea to their parents, the parents give back red envelopes, and the newlyweds feed each other desserts.
4. The groom takes the bride out: the mother of the bride goes downstairs with the new shoes to be replaced by the bride, and the groom puts on the new shoes for the bride and goes to the groom's house.
Required items:
Bouquets, headdresses, wedding cars, VIP flowers, red envelopes, tea, desserts, firecrackers, the bride and groom.
Venue: the groom's house
Content:
1, set off firecrackers when the wedding car arrives.
2. The bride enters the door to worship her in-laws, the groom's parents give back red envelopes, and the couple feed each other desserts.
Required items:
Firecrackers, tea, red envelopes, desserts
Location shooting: If the weather changes or the time is too late, you can omit this item, or you can go to the hotel to shoot the interior in advance.
Venue: Hotel
Content:
1. Newcomers arrive at the hotel early. If they have extra time, they can rest in the wedding room. The bride puts on makeup and the groom arranges the dress. Then welcome the guests under the arch.
The master of ceremonies announced the wedding.
3. Marriage.
4. Exchange wedding rings, cut cakes, pour champagne, cheers.
5. Throw a flower ball.
6. The wedding banquet officially begins, and the bride changes clothes.
7. Candlelight ceremony, thanks from parents and newcomers.
8.toast.
9. Make trouble in the bridal chamber.
(The ceremony is mainly based on the exchange of ceremonies, and this is for reference only. )
Required items:
Signature books, pens, posters, wedding decorations, rings, small gifts and so on.
Wedding candy, wine, cigarettes, matches, salute and other small items. In the afternoon, it will be sent to the hotel by a helping friend and put on the desktop of each table. In addition, you must also bring casual clothes, bride makeup remover and other daily necessities that the couple will change the next day.