Female split personality fortune telling
No matter how the heart sleeps in the numbness of that winter, the spring of 1995 comes as scheduled. The new semester. Weekend. The sunshine in March is very warm, and it shines softly through the window glass, adding a sense of tranquility and peace.
Sitting by the window, my heart is a little empty. It's always like this. I feel empty and lost whenever I have time. She admits that she is not the kind of person who is ambitious and enterprising. She really likes what L Jun said: The soul always needs a spiritual pillar. She didn't expect Mr. J to be replaced by Mr. L after leaving her heart, but for so long, Mr. L didn't give her the help he promised. Instead, I asked him for help several times, all of which were cold and evasive. She is really wronged. Living in an ivory tower, she doesn't know that Mr. L is not the original Mr. L at this time. He has entered the student union of the school and is ambitious and ready to make great achievements. He wants to clear away all obstacles that hinder his future, even if it has nothing to do with her, he will carefully avoid all unnecessary troubles. She is immersed in her own sorrow all day. How can she understand this? She felt that he still didn't forgive her, or held a grudge against her.
She conveyed her dissatisfaction and even complaints to him, so in March, when it was warm and cold, after the evening self-study, he stood at the window of the corridor outside the classroom again, with his trademark generous and gentle smile on his face, and held out his hand to her: "The past has passed, and we will still be good classmates and friends in the future." She stubbornly refused to hold his outstretched hand. I don't know why, in front of him, she is always inexplicably willful and angry. Perhaps it is because at the beginning, without the initial appearance of J Jun, he has given her the most generous dependence!
Yun told Mi An that she asked Mr. C to give the book to Mr. J, because she had a deep prejudice against Mr. J, and she really didn't want to confront him. I heard that, Amy was a little worried. Although she always regards Mr. C as the purest good friend, she just has a vague premonition that she may lose this friendship. Returning home in March, she went to her alma mater as usual, although there was nothing to worry about there. Sure enough, Yun took out a piece of paper, which Mr. C left for her. The cloud says that Mr. C is angry with her now because she didn't return his book. The tone on the note, which is ugly, means breaking up. Shocked, she was speechless. If she was so concerned and worried, would it be so unbearable because she didn't return the book in time? Didn't she explain over and over again that the two books were not returned to him in time because Nan took them to Beijing? Nowadays, among her friends, he is the only boy who can bring comfort to her heart. At one time, she even thought that this friendship might lead to love after all the dust settled, but now, even the friendship has lasted less than a year! Although she takes every friendship seriously, what can she say in that case? After returning to school, she wrote him the last letter, ending the friendship. Although she is a little sad, she doesn't want to insist any more!
"Some people get along day and night, but they are strangers; Some people meet by chance, but they meet again as old friends. For example, a meteor is hasty and short-lived, but it is also like a meteor, beautiful and eternal. " She remembered the sentence he wrote to her in the guest book. Originally I was eager to make friends, but I didn't expect it to be a sneer. They really became a hasty and short-lived meteor in the night sky of mutual friendship! Since then, let the past go with the wind, she said to herself, whoever wants to come, she will not escape; Anyone who wants to go can go, and she won't be forced any more!
Years later, she lost contact with Mr. C, and the vast sea of people returned to the stranger's side, just like before they met. Once again, after more than ten years, she has already experienced many vicissitudes and has an indifferent and calm state of mind. Referring to the past, C Jun Nana said that in those days, it was widely rumored among her classmates that she was infatuated and took the initiative to pursue several people, so he kept her at a distance. Hearing this, she was surprised, then angry, then wry smile, and finally left with a sneer. Who doesn't talk behind people's backs? Who doesn't talk behind people's backs? She really realized the power of "three people make a tiger". How many people? Well, isn't it J Jun and L Jun who have been entangled with her for several years? As for Mr. C himself, is he not clear about the nature of his friendship with her? Active pursuit? She has always been modest and reserved. If she didn't feel the other person's mind first, who would she dare to fall in love with and then fall into the trap? Besides, that fall was just an invisible heart net woven by myself, and my heart was torn and twisted. Even a word "love" has never been said or heard, but the result is that she "actively pursues"? She is infatuated. She is always infatuated. She is just a silly silkworm on mulberry leaves in spring. She spit out all her silk and made a cocoon, which is to trap herself in sadness and completely ignore how others point at the cocoon.
In this world, who can really see through whose heart? Who can honestly and bravely admit who he really loved after many years? To this day, she still frankly admits that her feelings, not responding to spiritual entanglements, are true love. At that age when nothing is certain, maybe it's just a necessary process to find true love! Have they ever experienced the experience of the night welcoming the light together, which greatly misunderstood them and imagined her as a "casual" girl? However, in all the communication plots, she has always been clear, and she and that boy have not even touched their fingertips once! After such a long time, if she is a true friend, what kind of person is she? Does Mr. C need to know from others? Won't he have his own judgment in his heart? After all, she just longs for someone who understands her mind and cares about her! Compared with those who deny their sincerity for fame and future, at the very least, she is not artificial, hypocritical or pretentious. She is frank and transparent, so pure truth exists only in her heart, how can she allow the secular world to be so blasphemous? Thought of here, she suddenly felt a little funny, so she burst into tears with a smile.
Perhaps with the recovery of spring, there is also the softness of people's hearts. Immersed in sadness, she didn't notice when Mr. L began to be friendly to her. There is a harmonious atmosphere everywhere in the university. In the classroom after the evening self-study, he called her over with a smile, sat next to him and gave her a fortune-telling spell with a smile, but she circled around, confused. He said that she had friends all over the world, but he didn't have any. He said: Do you have to say it directly? He lamented that she was running counter to him more and more; He said that although she didn't have a present for her birthday, he had been silently wishing her ... a relaxed and pleasant conversation, which made her feel a little concerned.
After suffering, she found that after years of wandering around, it turned out that only L Jun had been silently accompanying her, all the time. She even indulges herself, thinking that if there is a person, she may not be familiar with him, or even know him, as long as he says to her: Come with me, and I will treat you well and love you all my life. Then she really will, and the ends of the earth will follow him, just because there is a guarantee: I will love you all my life! She thought: the karma in the world may all be "mountains don't turn to water." Will this man eventually turn to l jun?
At the beginning of April, she went home again and learned that there had been bad blood between J Jun and Cao Cao. Her good friend Xiao Hu asked her to send a message to Cao Cao, asking him to come back and settle the matter. Riding out of the campus in a hurry, I happened to meet J Jun, smiled indifferently and waved, and she went over. Along the way, she looked in a trance and thought about it over and over again. From her point of view, she could have been happy and even gloated, but not at all. Her heart is very sad. Once such a precious treasure in her heart, it became grass in the hands of others; It's a pity that she lost her whole-hearted concern for him! If it is her, maybe she will cherish his concern with her life! But now, she wants nothing but that he will get better. When he gets better, she will feel at ease. She decided to go back to school and have a good talk with Cao, just for him and for him.
When she came back, she went downstairs to find Cao, but facing her, she didn't know where to start. As early as in the corner of the classroom of senior three, they already had tacit feelings for each other, just for a J-jun, although on the surface, they have always been best friends. She had to leave Cao with a message. Emotional things, let nature take its course, others can't change anything.
Then, just after the evening self-study, she chatted with several classmates in the classroom until she laughed happily. Mr. L was carrying something to go, but stopped in front of her with a smile, and then sat down beside her to talk. They finally talked about that topic, and she thought, even if you have crossed the sea, don't force the water to be difficult. If he really has a heart, don't miss it because of his reserve. Ask everything clearly! So I asked him how he wanted to associate with her. L jun said: he can leave a place for her in his heart, but for many reasons, they can't be together in the future. Now he can only put her one floor closer to his little sister and one floor away from that relationship. She knows that L Jun's family ties can guarantee him to stay in this city, he will have a bright future, and she will only be the sad ending of returning to his hometown and town. It is really impossible to be together in the future, and she suddenly feels cold: since there is no result, why start? So he said indifferently, "well, forget it!" "
Walking out of the classroom together, L Jun was a little unwilling. He asked her for the last time: "If I say that we can be together in the future, can you ignore everything and ensure that it will remain unchanged for life?" He thought that the gradual alienation after graduation was due to her "change of heart", and he was afraid that she would "change her heart" again. How can she guarantee the future at such a young age? Life is so long, she never thought so far. L Jun didn't give her the feeling of pounding and rapid heartbeat (so far only J Jun has given it to her), he just reassured her. Young, she doesn't understand that only reassuring love can last. She has been deliberately pursuing perfection, thinking that it is not true love. Besides, when he repeatedly stressed that "it is impossible to walk together", why should she give him a lifetime guarantee to make her fragile and helpless heart chill? Isn't this another kind of cruelty? So she couldn't give an answer to this question at once, so they wandered at the door of the love hall and turned around without going in. Before the seeds germinate, they have withered in the ground and will never feel the joy of breaking ground.
1April, 995, the world was thriving, but the flowers were falling. She finally lost everything, whether it was the love hidden in her heart or the friendship held in her hand. All the doubts about love and not love that have been entangled in my heart are finally over. She finally understands that many people come into your life just to teach you a lesson and then turn around and leave. People in life are always shuttling back and forth, dressing up the world around us like a landscape. There are always some people who come quietly and wait silently, such as lights illuminating our trip and warming our lives; More people appear in a hurry and leave in a hurry, just like meteors, there is no eternity, only instant glory ... and then everything goes back to the original point, just with heavy memories. Years have been polished, not eclipsed, but still shining in the sky of memories.
"No matter what it is, let me do it to my heart's content. All the results are growing experiences. " She remembered this sentence of San Mao, J Jun's favorite. Yes, everything is a growing experience. She didn't go against her heart, so she will never regret the past, but from then on, she will never be depressed again. Everything in the past is just the wrong time, the wrong person, beautiful mistakes and helpless desolation; In the pain of suddenly looking back, those people who appeared in each other's charming years, whether out of friendship or love, are an opportunity. A line of fate will make her forget all the sadness when she recalls, leaving only gratitude in her heart, thanking them for their companionship all the way, and thanking them for all the beauty they left in her memory, so that she can understand that when they leave, they can not be pessimistic or disappointed. Then, finally, forget each other.
"Since you don't love, why don't you forget? Since there is no chance, why take the oath? The past is like water without trace. No matter what the night is, you are a stranger. " Walking in the brightly lit campus, reading such a sentence, she smiled and glanced at it like rain.
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The last article: In the pain of looking back suddenly, have an elegant Spring Festival for you and me (9)