Why can't I spend the New Year at my parents' home after the New Year?
Why can't I spend the New Year at my parents' house? In people's minds, married daughters are already outsiders, so on the first day of the new year, this festive day of family reunion, they should stay at their in-laws' house. Why can't I spend the New Year at my parents' house?
There are two theories about why we can't celebrate the New Year at our parents' home. First, if your married daughter goes back to her mother's house for the New Year, she will think that she has committed the Feng Shui taboo of eating grass again and will eat her mother's house poor. Second, during the Spring Festival, every family needs to respect ghosts and gods. If a woman goes back to her mother's house for the New Year, it will also have a bad influence when she worships ghosts and gods. Because the married woman is already someone else's family, and when she respects ghosts and gods, her family respects her own ghosts and gods, which has nothing to do with this woman. This situation will generally affect her family's fortune for a whole year and should be avoided.
What is the saying of going back to your mother's house on New Year's Eve?
"Married daughter, spilled water" used to think that her daughter was married by someone else. If their daughter returns to her parents' home on New Year's Eve, their families will encounter all kinds of disasters in the new year. Of course, the custom that their daughter can't go back to her parents' house on New Year's Eve is now completely superstitious. Now this custom is rare, and many people will go back to their parents' homes with their husbands on New Year's Eve.
When can I go back to her home during the Spring Festival?
According to traditional customs, many areas in China think it is more appropriate to go back on the second day of the first lunar month. On this day, the daughter and son-in-law will bring gifts back to the woman's house, which embodies the concept of equality between men and women. At this time, it is the son-in-law who pays New Year greetings to his parents-in-law. Folk believe that a married daughter can't go back to the house on the first day of the first year, and going back to the house will eat the family poor, so she can only go back on the second day of the second year.
What should a married daughter pay attention to when she goes back to her mother's house?
1, don't go back to your mother's house on the first day of the first month.
On the first day of the first month, it is not recommended to go back to her parents' house. This is a day of family reunion. In many customs, a married daughter can't go back to her parents' home on this day. Many people think that a married daughter should spend the New Year at her mother-in-law's house, not at her parents' house. Generally speaking, she should go back to her parents' home the next day. It is generally recommended that she go back to her parents' home the next day, because the daughter who got married in the New Year has to work at her mother-in-law's house, and the New Year itself is tired, so it is more appropriate to go back to her parents' home the next day.
2, be careful not to touch the pot spoon
There are a lot of folk sayings, many of which are feudal superstitions, without much scientific basis, but they have been circulating among the people for a long time, and their meanings are not very good. Although these are false, they will feel uncomfortable to listen to, so it is better for a married daughter to follow these customs when she goes back to her mother's house.
Don't go back to your mother's house on the fifteenth day of the first month.
The fifteenth day of the first month is also an important reunion day. Daughter-in-law needs to spend the New Year together at her mother-in-law's house. It's better to go back to my parents' home on the 16th day of the first month, so I can take care of two families, and my morality is good.
Why can't I spend the New Year at my parents' house? According to the traditional custom, married daughters can't spend the New Year at their parents' home.
Because, in traditional habits, it is considered a taboo and ominous for a married daughter to go to her parents' home for the New Year.
In traditional habits, people think that if a married daughter spends the New Year at her parents' home, her life will become poorer and poorer.
So, why do people have this kind of understanding and concept?
The most essential reason is economic consideration;
China's traditional economy is an agricultural economy, which is underdeveloped. People generally live in poverty and are nervous about dressing and eating.
Under such economic conditions, the married daughter will have an extra population to eat at her parents' home for the New Year, which naturally makes her parents unhappy.
Moreover, parents may have more than one married daughter in the New Year, and children and husbands often accompany her. Invisible, a few more people eat. As parents, they may be tolerant, and if they have brothers and sisters, they are often reluctant.
In addition, more realistically, under what circumstances will a married daughter spend the New Year at her parents' home?
In ancient times, it was nothing more than being divorced by her husband's family and being beaten by her family. Another possibility is that the economy cannot stand on its own feet. These are not what the family wants to see.
Therefore, in traditional society, a married daughter can't spend the New Year at her parents' home unless she has to.
The most direct reason is the problem of concept:
Traditionally, it is generally believed that married daughters are not members of their own families.
In ancient times, people called women's marriage "return". In his biographies, Zhu explained: "When a woman says she wants to marry, she must pay it back", and "Nan Zhou Yao Tao": "A son should marry when he returns to his hometown" means that a woman gets married.
In other words, the bride's family is not the daughter's home. In-laws' home is their real home, and it is also a woman's home. Marrying a daughter is the "joy of going home".
Starting from this concept, people pay attention to family reunion and prosperity during the Spring Festival, which actually does not include married daughters.
Usually, people are used to a certain day during the Spring Festival, usually the fourth or sixth day of the Lunar New Year, as a special day for married daughters to go home to visit relatives.
In the new era, we must have new ideas.
Of course, the times are developing, the society is changing, and people's concepts should be adjusted appropriately.
Due to the implementation of the family planning policy. Most young people are only children now. Young couples, often a small family, have to face two families of both parents.
The man's family has only one son and the woman's family has only one daughter.
Under such circumstances, how to go home for the New Year?
According to media reports, some young couples will have disputes over which parents to go back to during the Spring Festival.
The husband thinks it is natural to go back to her husband's house for the New Year. If you can't bring your wife and children home for the New Year, you will feel embarrassed and feel that you can't hold your head in front of your family and friends.
However, some women in modern society think that when they go to their in-laws' home for the New Year, their parents will be left unattended and feel unbearable, so they insist on spending the New Year at their own home.
Some young couples, even after several disputes, finally choose to spend the New Year at their parents' home in turn. I will spend this year at the man's parents' house and next year at the woman's parents' house.
In modern society, people should certainly get rid of feudal superstitions and backward customs.
However, we should do as the Romans do and respect some traditional ideas.
For example, one parent agrees that a married daughter should not spend the New Year at her parents' home. Then, as a daughter, don't go back to your parents' home for the New Year, so as not to cause bad feelings to your family.
If one parent's concept is more advanced and enlightened, and does not agree with the custom that the married daughter can't spend the New Year at her parents' home, especially if she is in poor health and needs someone to take care of her, then under such circumstances, she can't believe any taboos.
Still have to put parents' health first. As a daughter, I should spend the New Year at my parents' home and take care of my parents.
In a word, as a married daughter, whether she can spend the New Year at her parents' home or not depends on the specific situation.
Why can't I spend the New Year at my parents' house? In northern China, the significance of Spring Festival reunion is limited to parents, sons and daughters-in-law. Married daughters are regarded as outsiders and are not allowed to spend the New Year at their parents' home. In some rural areas of southern China, this custom still exists. If the married daughter goes back to her parents' home for the New Year, there are also many taboos to pay attention to.
Generally speaking, on New Year's Eve after marriage, the woman should stay at her husband's house. There is a saying: "The fire on the 30th, the lantern on the 15th day of the first month." It means that the married girl can't see the fire at home. If she sees her family celebrate the New Year, she will not get rich or prosper.
Moreover, in people's minds, the married daughter is already an outsider, so on the festive day of family reunion on New Year's Day, she should stay at her husband's family, otherwise it will lead to the situation that her husband's family can't reunite. At the same time, when married women go home on this day, they will also make their families poor, reduce their wages, break their wealth and so on.
If the married daughter goes back to her family for the New Year, she will be poor. During the Chinese New Year, her parents will ask God to send her to God. The married daughter belongs to someone else's family, so she can't spend the New Year at home, which is not good for her family and will affect her fortune for one year. Therefore, the married daughter can't go back to her parents' home for the New Year, especially her brothers and sisters, which will ruin her family.
The married daughter belongs to someone else's family, so she can't have dinner any more, especially at her parents' house during the New Year. "Marry a woman and splash water" means "water under the bridge"; More importantly, let the daughter be "cold-hearted" about her family, stop homesick, take root in her husband's family and build a new home wholeheartedly.
A married daughter, no matter how deeply attached to her family, is actually from another family after marriage, so it is natural that everyone needs to be reunited in a personal family after marriage. Generally speaking, going back to my parents' home for the New Year is either a reunion with my family, or a disagreement between my husband and wife, or I am not doing well at my husband's family, which is not only controversial, but also easy to affect the feelings of my husband and wife.
In many places in our country, if a married daughter stays at her parents' home for the New Year, there is only one reason, that is, there is something wrong with the relationship between husband and wife, and she may even divorce. At this time, the married daughter will stay at her parents' home for the New Year.