The blind fortune-telling sketch daquan plays

Benshan essay text: competitive

Sketch: so strong

[Shouting: "Bean sprouts are cheap!" "Peanut fragrance!" "Huanggu ice cream!" "Eldest brother have a meal? All kinds of cooking, jambalaya, beer, white wine, hot pot mutton, the staple food is steamed dumplings, smoked meat pie. There are some big brothers. "

Shisanxiang (Gong Hanlin): (Singing) Small paper is square. Cai Lun made paper in the Eastern Han Dynasty. If you ask what paper is for, listen to me. Journalists use it to write manuscripts, writers use it to compile articles, engineers use it to write drawing paper, and doctors use it to write prescriptions. The paper fell into my hand, all wrapped in thirteen incense.

Reporter (Zhao Benshan? ): Take a look, take a look, French newspaper, story newspaper, newly published TV newspaper. There are legends, detection, irony and silence. For appreciation, entertainment and education. Take a look,/kloc-the mystery of the disappearance of a 7-year-old girl, why did a 72-year-old woman remarry? ...

Thirteen incense, hey, hey, where are you going? If you go any further, you will step on someone!

Reporter: Oh, where did a big living person come from?

What do you mean thirteen incense came out? I'm early.

Newspaperman: When did you come?

Thirteen incense just arrived.

What is the newspaper seller doing here?

Thirteen incense sells thirteen incense.

The newspaper seller doesn't know if anyone lives here?

Thirteen incense was taken away? Where is it?

Here comes the newspaper seller! I got this acne last year.

Thirteen incense, it's funny that you always talk. This is the market, not your kang!

Newspaper sellers, why are they so separated? It is unreasonable to occupy other people's territory.

Thirteen incense, where is your territory?

I sell newspapers! The place I circled is mine!

Thirteen incense hey hey, stop poking, you can't afford to poke Chili noodles!

The newspaper seller is afraid of spilling you, so change places!

Why did thirteen incense change places? Do you still have first come, first served?

There are newspapers. Wow, I came yesterday!

Thirteen incense, I came the day before yesterday!

Newspaper seller: I have been selling newspapers here since last year!

Thirteen incense should say this. My grandfather sold thirteen incense here when he played Guangxu!

Newspaper seller: I sell newspapers with the approval of the government!

Thirteen incense. I also have a business license to sell thirteen incense.

Reporter: I sell newspapers to promote the legal system and reform.

I sell thirteen incense to invigorate the economy and serve the people.

Don't talk to me in broken vernacular, newspaper seller, move my nest before it's too late!

Thirteen incense, I can't move anything today!

You don't touch the newspaper seller?

Thirteen incense!

Reporter, if you don't move today, you have to move tomorrow.

I won't move thirteen incense today, and I won't move tomorrow. I didn't go anywhere the year before last.

Newspaper seller, you are so rotten that a pile of mushrooms will flourish in the new year!

Thirteen incense, you.

Newspaper seller, newspaper seller! Legal newspapers and story newspapers are rich in content, so I like them. ...

Thirteen incense (singing) Come and buy my thirteen incense, good pepper and star anise, dried tangerine peel and cinnamon with galangal, clove and costustoot, and all my brothers and sisters are fennel. Buy it home and cook. Chicken, duck and fish are delicious. (Talking to customers)

A pack of 30 cents, a pack of 50 cents. How many bags do you want?

Newspaper sellers read newspapers! Professional silver dollar was cheated, and movie star Liu Xiaoqing asked a lawyer to file a lawsuit. Let's take a look. Illegal traders fake the real thing and use bark, sawdust and Chinese medicine dregs as Chili noodles to cheat people. Take a look!

Thirteen incense, why not buy it?

The newspaper seller reads the newspaper and wakes up. what would you like to see？ Story newspaper, 20 cents each.

Thirteen incense (singing) Listen up, Gong Ming. If you want to buy a newspaper, you can read it carefully. Twenty cents per piece. When you bought a house, you made a terrible mistake. Students read this newspaper, fight in the street and shine the scraper. Your wife read this newspaper, and a third party intervened. She knew.

Newspaper seller (take the newspaper to the buyer, hear thirteen incense people singing, the buyer doesn't want it, go away. What are you grinding there? Singing your thirteen incense, mumbling something. It's a mess

Thirteen incense, I want to say that you can control it! My mouth is not under my own nose!

Reporter: Yes, it's not your mouth if it grows under the cat's tail!

Thirteen incense: Oh, you are very skillful in swearing, so you are blind. ...

Newspaper seller. What?

Thirteen incense sticks (change them quickly) are blind ... Summer ... (singing) Summer is hot, winter is cool, and winter and summer are inseparable from these thirteen incense sticks. Friends and relatives come to the party, put on aprons and go down to the kitchen. Stir-fry, you taste delicious, and everyone praises your skill. The flat peach banquet of Queen Mother Kesai is better than the magic fragrance of the old gentleman. "Lumingchun" invites you to give a talk, and Imperial Restaurant invites you to join us. Chef Liu Jingxian came to visit, only to know that you used thirteen incense. (Dialogue with customers) Who will buy it? A pack of thirty cents, two packs of fifty cents!

Newspaper sellers read newspapers, which are thrilling and bizarre and rich in content. Look, the young couple went astray in order to get rich; You see how the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are jealous; Ah, the rule of law, civilization, health, longevity and hygiene. Take a look, peddler, cheating, Chinese medicine residue pretending to be thirteen incense, eating stomachache. Buy it, buy it, please buy the French newspaper and the story newspaper.

Why don't you want thirteen incense (for customers)? Give you an extra spoonful.

Newspaper sellers read newspapers! Learn to use the law soberly and be vigilant. Don't be fooled!

Thirteen incense! Newspaper seller!

Newspaperman: Who are you talking to?

Thirteen incense is with you!

Why do newspaper sellers sigh when they talk to me?

Thirteen incense and less words! Do you have sawdust and pepper noodles in the newspaper?

How can you say what the newspaper seller said without it?

Thirteen incense, let me read your newspaper.

Newspaper seller, can you read it directly? The public security bureau won't even check me. Who are you? !

Thirteen incense I ... I'll buy one!

You bought a newspaper seller? Do you have any money in your waist?

Thirteen incense. Hey! I don't want to brag to you, but I can buy a newspaper! Come on, take one!

Newspaper seller: You have money to buy newspapers, but most people don't sell my newspapers yet. Read the newspaper! Read the newspaper! The legal newspaper, the story newspaper and the newly published TV newspaper are full of twists and turns, which are amazing and are the wonders of today and today.

Thirteen incense (in a woman's voice) I'll buy a newspaper.

Newspaperman: What newspaper do you want?

Thirteen incense let me choose!

Newspaper seller (sniffing) huh? Why does this smell like pepper noodles? (clutching the newspaper)

Thirteen incense (angry) I buy newspapers!

I don't sell newspapers!

Thirteen incense is not for sale. Get away from me!

The newspaper seller (laughs) hides far away, afraid that you will miss me. Selling newspapers! Selling newspapers!

Thirteen incense (angrily) thirteen incense, who will buy thirteen incense! [The more they shout, the less energetic they are, and their voices are getting louder and louder until they don't make any noise. A lyre plays a series of funny dissonance, and then weakly plays the melody of blind fortune telling. ]

Newspaper seller, why don't you shout?

Thirteen incense, I have a rest.

Reporter, I think you are also a donkey pulling a cart-

What does thirteen incense mean?

Newspaper sellers have no strength!

Thirteen incense, you are full of energy, but you are shouting!

Newspaper seller, what time is it?

Thirteen incense is still at that time yesterday.

Reporter or ...

You can sell thirteen incense sticks for a while, and I'll give you the place.

What else do newspaper sellers sell? This car keeps barking, people are quiet, it's getting late, and my wife has cooked all the soju, so I won't bother you. I'm leaving!

Thirteen incense, watch your step. Don't go to the crematorium!

What is the newspaper seller doing at your house if he has nothing to do? !

Thirteen incense I ... Hi! Lost again!

It's all your fault that the newspaper seller suffered! How much is it today?

Thirteen incense is more than two hundred yuan.

Newspaper seller, 250!

Thirteen incense, you are only 250!

I can understand the newspaper seller, and you haven't churned out a pack yet!

I didn't sell thirteen incense, nor did you!

Brother selling newspapers, let's do it. I'll help you and buy you a pack of thirteen incense.

Where's thirteen incense? You want to buy my thirteen incense?

Newspaper seller, I think you are quite angry. Why don't you have something to drink when you go back? Who will mess with me tomorrow? !

I'm in charge of thirteen incense in that middle school, and I'll sell someone a pack of triangles. ...

The newspaper seller sold it to me?

Thirteen incense and fifty cents a pack!

The price of newspapers has gone up.

Do you want to buy thirteen incense? If you don't buy thirteen incense, I will say goodbye.

The newspaper seller buys it! Isn't it fifty cents? ! Take two packs!

Thirteen incense pay!

Newspaper seller, you deliver the goods!

Give you thirteen incense! Two packs, thick ones!

Reporter (Smell) This is really serious!

Thirteen incense, you pay!

The newspaper seller has money, but the ticket is relatively large, so I'm afraid you can't change it.

How much is thirteen incense?

Journalists are fifty yuan each.

Thirteen incense, isn't it ... Aren't you embarrassed?

The newspaper seller can't find it, can he? Tell you what, I'll give you a set of newspapers, and you go back and study hard!

Thirteen incense. You traded the newspaper for my thirteen incense sticks.

Are you still struggling to sell newspapers? Aren't we all open for business? How unlucky is it?

Hello, Shisanxiang, I said, there is nothing in your newspaper that pretends to be Shisanxiang!

Is there a newspaper seller?

Thirteen incense is not!

The newspaper seller heard that the next issue will be published!

Thirteen incense, then you are deliberately messing with my business!

Didn't you piss me off, too, newspaper seller? We pay back the money, two!

Thirteen incense, hum! Anyway, I was unlucky to meet you!

The newspaper seller is afraid of bad luck, so don't come tomorrow.

Thirteen incense is not coming? It's not that easy!

Newspaper seller, are you still coming?

Thirteen incense is still here!

Is the newspaper seller still there?

Thirteen incense is coming!

Deal for selling newspapers!

Thirteen incense is dying. See you tomorrow!

Newspaper seller, come back!

Thirteen incense, what are you doing?

Reporter, you just left alone? You don't feel anything? Lead me!

Thirteen incense, I should be yours! (Music begins)

The reporter read the newspaper, and a young man selling thirteen incense, like Lei Feng, did good deeds and took the initiative to take care of the disabled, which was praised by the masses.

(When they get off the bus, the sound fades away.)