Women's Transformation from Sphere to Dead Fish's Eye
My daughter is made of water and feels refreshed. When you are unmarried, it is priceless; When you get married, you lose your luster, like a dead bead. When a daughter smells like a man, she becomes an illegitimate child and can be killed more than a man.
The above is Baoyu's judgment on girls and married women in A Dream of Red Mansions. He described the tragic vicissitudes of women's fate in the old society in one sentence.
Every daughter is a treasure raised by her parents and the apple of her parents' eye. However, the female university did not stay, at least she wanted to get married. The girl was carried into her husband's house by a sedan chair, and she stepped into an unknown world: a strange man she had never met before; I don't understand temperament endowment at all, it's all arranged by fate; And all the people associated with this man. From the daughter to the new wife, this psychological gap is very large.
As a new daughter-in-law of a large family, you should learn to read, listen, submit to humiliation, do things up and down, and learn to be harmonious. Without these tricks, it is difficult to live and live; In the play, there are often dudes who take women from small families home or hide them in a golden nest, and take care of them in every way, but women still have no chance to survive. Because of the different growing environment and culture, where has my little girl seen that kind of battle? After several rounds, the ladies-in-waiting who entered the house early kicked this "sycophantic essence" out of the house, or simply killed her, such as You Erjie in A Dream of Red Mansions.
As the wife, brother-in-law, in-laws and sister-in-law of a small family, we must respect etiquette and take good care of her. Going to the fields during the day and spinning at night; Clothes, shoes and socks, all by sewing, but also busy with three meals a day. A yellow flower girl, once a woman, suddenly became a person who can be used by anyone without spending money, really worse than a girl; If you eat well and wear well, you must make way; You have to do heavy and dirty work. Can she not be rude or fade?
However, a daughter is going to marry a woman after all. In our nature, a female university, not staying, staying and staying has become a grievance. As a woman, she should bear the sin and pain.
At that time, there were no contraceptive measures and medical security was almost zero; Babies are born one after another, and the responsibility of raising children regardless of black and white falls almost entirely on women's shoulders. When a woman is pregnant and gives birth to a child, she has touched the door of hell. There is no way to give her life to heaven. If something goes wrong, such as dystocia, she will lose her life. At that time, women said that their lives were like dirt, which was too much!
Fame and fortune, Qian Shengqian, it is a man's responsibility to walk on the road of official business. In ancient times, traffic was inconvenient and correspondence was difficult. Women with a group of children are parents at home. I want to take care of the elderly and appease my uncle. A down-and-out man may have touched his home on a snowy day, and since then he has died of the desire for officials and wealth, guarding his wife, and his family has lived a poor life. Finally, the old man's wife can still die of old age together.
If you really take a high official and generous salary, then the poor family has nothing to miss. The woman is over half a year old, and the orb is pale and has become a dead fish eye. A man with power and wealth will not ask himself the conscience of heaven and earth. The young woman who pursues wealth and power took a little thought to put him away. Men put their hearts on a horizontal plane, pretend to be single, buy a mansion and a big house, and live a good life with a large group of new wives and concubines. From then on, I buried my poor and troubled wife in the wasteland deep in my memory. Xue Pinggui and Chen Shimei set an example for such people.
A woman's name is weakness. Since she followed a man, she has become the weak of the weak. She is doomed to bear the burden of humiliation and narrow escape; Destined to endure the purgatory of childbirth and the hardships of parenting. Long-term wind and rain, ruthless years, a treasure ball was finally eroded into a dead fish eye.
The success of future generations means that the family is kind, and the father is Heng Chang; If the family business is dying and the descendants are worthless, it must be married to a daughter-in-law who lost her house and ruined her family's feng shui.
Married women live in the shadow of men, in the rules of elders, in the judgment of uncles and sisters-in-law, in the crying of children and in diapers.
The bright pearl was finally squeezed to lose its luster and became a dead fish eye.
However, there will always be a day when the dead fish eye will turn over, and that is the mother's dependence on her children. The son has a high status and a high salary, and the newly married wife enters the door. Finally, she can be her mother-in-law gracefully.
Why does my mother-in-law bosse around like a new wife, tying her tightly in manners, morality and all aspects? Mother-in-law's way is naturally imposed on the next generation. Why do you ask? She said there was no reason. That's how I got here.
Because men are superior to women, husbands are superior. A woman is alienated from her husband, unable to understand his behavior and has no right to control it. In particular, men take concubines to serve and spoil new people, and the wives of dross have completely become the foil there. Give a superficial respect in a reasonable way, and a lot of trouble will arise in a strong and barbaric way. I hope the old lady is dead and the young have a good chance to turn over a new leaf.
Living in such a depressed, heavy, loveless and forbearing environment for many years, women's values and outlook on life have been greatly distorted. You said she was cruel to her new wife, and you said she was unreasonable. In fact, what she imposed on her wife was exactly what she suffered. This has become the sorrow of all women in that big social environment.
A wife matches her husband. Her husband's alienation, disgust and condescension forced her to divert her attention to kill her mental pain. She concentrated all her energy on the next generation, working hard to make her son finally an adult and have a bargaining chip to bully her. This cycle, alas, alas
It is her little cotton-padded jacket-daughter who softens such an armored mother-in-law. The delicate daughter she raised by herself will soon become a wife. Go through every hurdle of life like her. If you want your daughter to have a good fate and not suffer so much, shouldn't you let your wife live a little easier?
Sister-in-law, describing virtue, gently advised her mother not to embarrass her. The most important topic is the rural Lu drama Xian Sao, which she often watched when she was young. Under the persuasion of her daughter, her mother-in-law figured out a truth: today's wife may be her daughter's tomorrow, and her daughter is her mother's pride, which hurts her daughter's right to be a daughter.
A woman's life cycle has a short flowering period; Parents hold a budding flower like pearls, which can only make her fade into a dead fish eye after a narrow escape. If you can turn over the salted fish, it will be full of blessings. Such an old salted fish tossing in the wind and rain, if she has a compassionate heart to treat her new wife, then she is like a bodhisattva, and the good results are complete.
It is a social system that men are superior to women. If it is cultivated with love and understanding, bright beads will only become more and more valuable, how can they become dead fish eyes, despised, disgusted and even discarded!
This step for women to go to the workplace is to bid farewell to the moment when the orb is weathered into a dead fish eye by the years. She is finally no longer a vassal of a man, no longer a rib in his body. She can stand up, hold her head high, go her own way and live her own life. She freely exudes wisdom and wisdom, and takes time to cultivate her soul.
Woman, you used to be a good colored bead when you were young; May your knowledge match the hourglass of time; Add value to this pearl with filtered gold, and it will become a more valuable big pearl inlaid with gold instead of a worthless dead fish eye.
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