I urgently need a funny version of the stage play script about Zhu Bajie and others

Hua Hua Hua (the sound of running water) Tang Seng: What is the sound in front of you? Wukong: It’s running water, the loud sound of running water! Audience: Wow! Have you seen the beginning of this? Director: Yes, which episode of Liusha River is it? If you don’t remember, you can go to the highlight section of www.zhouxingchi.com and look for it. Audience: Isn’t this deceiving the audience? Refund a refund! Director: Damn! It’s not like watching a movie. Why don’t you give me a break? We don’t have enough funds, so it’s just one less shot! Wukong: Are you finished? Where are we performing! Director: o your k, go your on! Bajie: Master, there must be a big river ahead. God will block our way, so we have to break up! Tang Seng: Disband? OK? But according to the map, across the river is the Female Kingdom of Xiliang... Sha Seng: Oh, page! Wukong: Huh? Junior Brother Sha, why don't you... Sha Monk: Wrong, it should be Second Senior Brother. He accidentally typed and typed the serial number just now. Bajie: Oh, page! Wukong: Psycho! Tang Seng: How can you survive on this big river? Sha Seng: Look, a boat is coming over there! Wukong: Yes! There is another boatman vaguely visible above, seems to be a woman? Depend on! It's too far away to see clearly! Bajie: I can’t see clearly. Her right eyebrow seems to be drawn a little higher. Crow: Quack! Gua! Gua!

(In a blink of an eye, the ferry has sailed over)

Boatman: How many masters want to cross the river? Tang's Monk: Amitabha, the female donor really knows how to talk nonsense. Boatman: Are you swearing? ... Wukong: Master, I know you have been suppressing it for a long time, but you should also restrain yourself. We are begging for help now! Boatman: ...I have never seen a monk like you. Personalized, I like it! Sha Seng: Is this okay? Boatman: Masters, come up quickly...haven't you asked for your Dharma names yet? Tang Monk: I am a monk from the Tang Dynasty in the east and Tianzhu in the west. I passed by the precious land, a monk from the Tang Dynasty~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ monk! Boatman: Oh, I know, the CEO of www.西天四人行.com! It's such an honor to meet you. The names of these people are... Tang Seng: I never like to steal the spotlight, so let them introduce themselves. Sun Wukong, please tell people what your Sun Wukong's name is! Wukong: I... Tang Seng: I am speechless after seeing a beautiful aunt, and I have no future! It's better for you, Zhu Bajiewu, to come first! Bajie: But... Tang Seng: What else is there? Sha Wujing, you don’t know what to say, do you? Sha Seng: Haven’t you already said everything? Tang Seng: What do you mean? Could it be that I stole your show? You should know that I am a very low-key person. You should have noticed that, right? Right? Boatman sister? Boatman: Hmm... Tang Seng: Hmm, how big are you? Yesterday when you and I were filming the porn movie, we were still talking about it. Today is Journey to the West, so what? Frog: Quack! Gua! Gua! Tang Monk: Wukong, I'm so thirsty. Can you find me some water? Wukong: Damn! Of course I’m thirsty after talking so much nonsense! If you say a few more words, I'll beat you to death! Director: Please note, children, that when Wukong said "dang" just now, it was pronounced with one tone, not four. Thank you Sha Seng: Senior brother, give you a bowl! Wukong: Junior Brother Sha, there is water everywhere here, and you are holding a bowl. Can't you just fetch the water yourself? Why are you still calling me? Sha Seng: Master told you that he was thirsty? Wukong: I didn’t expect you to be really obedient? Sha Seng: We are most afraid of obedience in everything, and we monks value the word "obedience" the most. Boatman: Why don’t you hurry up? The master is almost dying of thirst! Wukong: Huh? master! Tang Seng: It's okay. I just lay down on the side of the boat with my butt in the air, stretched my neck, pouted my mouth, stuck out my tongue, put my head into the river, and drank it myself.

Sha Seng: Wow! How can you do such a dirty posture? Tang Seng: Wow, are you old? Are you following the third-rate stars from Hong Kong and Taiwan? I learned it from your second senior brother! Boatman: Huh? Why has the river become shallower? Wukong: Idiot! Stop drinking! The water level has dropped! If you drink any more, you will have to walk across the river! Bajie: You won’t even let me drink enough water? There is no justice! I knew I was not a monk! Sha Seng: Look! Ahead is the city gate! Bajie: Oh, page! Finally I can see a lot of mm! Tang Seng: What are you shouting for? Our image has been completely ruined by you~~~~~~~~~~~! Boatman! Could you please drive faster? We are in a hurry! Panda: Gua! Gua! Gua!

(The four masters and apprentices entered the city)

Pedestrian A: Look! Race! Pedestrian B: Yes! I like the monkey face one! Pedestrian C: You don’t look honest at first glance. I still like the quiet one in Bai Bai. He must know how to love others! Pedestrian A: Look at how naughty you are! One look at the fat one and he's the most capable! Pedestrian Ding: That bearded guy has a loyal face, isn’t he bad? Pedestrian E: Damn! Have I become an "E"? Anyway, the whitest one is better! Pedestrian C: Is that the one I mentioned? Pedestrian E: No, it’s the one he’s riding! Pedestrians: Abnormal! Cat: Quack! Gua! Gua!

(Inside the Palace)

Queen: Ah! ~~~~~~~~~~~is a ~~~~~male~~~~~person~~~~~! National Preceptor: Please, you are also the king of a country, and you scream for life when you see a man. Isn’t it ridiculous? Queen: Do you want to take care of it? Imperial Master: What I mean is, if you like it, why don’t you drool so much? Queen: Damn, if you didn’t tell me earlier, you would be embarrassed in front of Tang Chao Gege... I’m sorry! Imperial Master: Just wipe your mouth if you are asked to do so. What else? Queen: Just say what you have to say together, don’t squeeze it out bit by bit like shit! Imperial Master: I think you should change your position. It’s not very elegant to squat on the ground to meet guests, isn’t it? Queen: How about you let me stand up earlier? State affairs: They are already here! Tang's Monk: Your Majesty, why are you squatting on the ground? Queen: I...my bladder is sweating! Wukong: Damn! Just pee, pee, what a sweaty bladder! Tang Seng: Don’t be unreasonable! You monkey, this is the first time in my life that Master has seen a female donor, what are you causing trouble? Bajie: So the master is also good at this? Sha Seng: Master, get up quickly, don’t crawl on the ground and watch? Imperial Master: It turns out that these two people are really well matched! Wukong: How big are you? We are just passing monks and have no dealings with the government! Imperial Preceptor: This is not up to you! Queen: The Imperial Master is right! Someone is coming! Send all eminent monks down to rest! Zebra: Quack! Gua! Gua!

(Lounge)

Wukong: Master, in the hall today, I looked at you so lustfully? Tang Seng: Lewd? Sha Seng: It’s over! The master's anger level has reached its limit.

Tang Seng: Are you saying that I am lewd? Bajie: Senior brother! Watch out for the special move! Tang Seng: Lustful! This word is so appropriate! Why? Why why? Wukong: Because telecommunications prices are going to increase! Bajie: Because students are on summer vacation! Sha Seng: Because Qingxia is getting married! Tang Seng: All wrong! Because today is my period! Hahaha! ~~~~~~~ Three apprentices: It turns out that the master is crazy! Voice-over: Dear viewers, this is called falling in love! Director: Gua! Gua! Gua!

(Night)

Tang Monk: Ouch! Bajie: Ouch! Wukong: What are you two doing? Sha Seng: Yes, making pain for no reason can easily arouse my desire! Tang Seng: No! It hurts! ah! It hurts! Bajie: It’s like being cut with a knife! ah! Like a knife cutting! Tang Seng: It’s like acupuncture! ah! Like acupuncture! Wukong: If you have a stomachache, just write a note and it will be fine. What poem do you want to write? Bajie: Yes! I'll go right away!

...An hour has passed...

Bajie: Brother Monkey! Not good! Wukong: What happened again? Bajie: Look! Wukong: Huh? Piglet? Where did it come from? Bajie: Yes... I... gave birth to it by accident when I... wrote the article... Wukong: Huh? Who did it? Bajie: I only had sex with Bai Longma... Sha Seng: No way? It turns out to be a dragon pig? Tang Seng: What about "Dragon Ball" and "Dr. IQ"! Please take care of me, okay? Bajie: It hurts again, let’s peel it off again! Wukong: No way? Skip again? Sha Seng: Pigs are animals that have multiple offspring. Tang Seng: Are you engaged in academia? Then you should study why we... Wukong: I will go find the king now! Folding stool: Gua! Gua! Gua!

Queen: Here I come! Tang Seng: So fast? Queen: It’s too long and some people don’t like to read it, so I made it a little faster. Tell me, where do you feel uncomfortable? Tang Seng: I used to have backache and leg cramps, and I thought it was rheumatism and cold. Only now did I know that it was a pregnancy reaction and I had to give birth to a baby. Queen: Having a baby? Depend on! Didn't you drink the water outside the city? Tang Seng: Have you drunk it? We thought it was free! Queen: We don’t have men here. If we want to pass on the family lineage, we have to find a way by ourselves. Tang Seng: Damn! I'm in so much pain here, can you tell me something substantive? Queen: That’s right? Just one sip of water from the Zimu River will make you pregnant! Wukong: No way? It's so dangerous and you don't put up a sign? Queen: What are the dangers for a woman to be pregnant? Who knew you men wanted to drink too? Sha Seng: What should we do? Queen: Isn’t it enough just to give birth? Wukong: We are asking you how to have an abortion! Queen: Abortion? No! It's too laborious. We have a folk remedy here, but there is no medicinal introduction.

Wukong: You tell me, I’ll figure it out! Queen: Just drink boy urine! Tang Monk: Ha~~~~~Ha~~~~~Ha~~~~~Don’t you know that we are all monks? Isn’t that easy to say? Give me a drink of urine! Wukong: It's not that I won't help you. When I was in Huaguo Mountain, I was the master of the mountain, and I had many little female monkeys... Tang Seng: No way? Bajie, come here! Bajie: Me? Don’t you remember why I was demoted to the mortal world? Tang Seng: Damn! Sha Seng, what about you? Sha Seng: I was also a general in the Heavenly Palace back then. In fact, my life was very corrupt... Tang Seng: No way? Then am I going to have a baby? Wukong: Master, where are you? Tang Monk: Hey! If I had known today, I would have let go of the rhubarb in Chang'an Temple...

(Everyone vomited)

Tang Seng: I didn't expect that I would be like this~~~~~~Shiying His reputation was ruined~~~~~~~~~ in one fell swoop! Bailong: Master, if you don’t mind it... I’m still a virgin! Tang Monk: Drink horse urine? God? Is this your punishment for me? Dahuang: Gua! Gua! Gua!