Women have three obedience and four virtues. What is three obedience and four virtues? Where's that guy?
According to the different positions and division of labor between men and women at home and abroad
"Being different inside and outside" is the most important norm for both sexes in traditional society. Show in:
(1) The position and division of labor are "men outside the home"-men are engaged in politics, war, service, farming, hunting, commerce, etc. Women, on the other hand, are "in charge of housework such as food and wine", engaged in weaving silkworms, having children and honoring their in-laws. In the upper class, "diplomacy" refers to presiding over and participating in political affairs and military affairs (also known as "official duties" and "major events"), which is the privilege of male aristocratic bureaucrats, and women are not allowed to get involved. It is a violation of "the hen crows, which is ominous for the country". At the lower level, the typical division of labor of small farmers in farming society is male ploughing and female weaving (such as the legend of cowherd and weaver girl). This division and division of labor between men and women has formed internal and external barriers in daily life, such as "men dominate outside, women dominate inside", "men and women don't kiss", "don't talk inside, don't talk outside" and so on.
(2) The distinction between the inside and outside of the family organization is just the opposite of the difference in position and division of labor, that is, the man is in charge and the woman is outside (see Inside and Outside Marriage and Family).
"Inside" and "Outside" of Marriage and Family
Family is the most important organizational form of gender relations, and marriage is the means and process of forming a family.
The principle of forming a marriage and family is that men belong to the inside and women belong to the outside-for the purpose of "benefiting the inside", in order to facilitate the male family to carry on the family line and be harmonious and prosperous. The woman's relatives are called "consorts" and say that the daughter is an "outsider", which comes from this.
The custom of marriage and family system is that men are masters and women are slaves-monogamy and concubinage are practiced. Its practice is that men get married and have children (especially sons who must be born by themselves) in order to carry on the family line; A married woman must live in her husband's house, and the status of family members depends on her husband's seniority. The number of husband and wife is not balanced, and it is stipulated that men in the upper class can marry several concubines in addition to a positive (direct) wife (commonly known as "the first wife"). For example, the etiquette of the Zhou Dynasty stipulated that the emperor married 12 women at a time, and the number of vassals was nine, while the number of doctors was reduced. The Qin dynasty began to stipulate the number of concubines, with 72 concubines in three palaces and six courtyards, but emperors in previous dynasties often broke through, with 3,000 beauties and tens of thousands of maids. Bureaucrats also have the privilege of concubinage. Civilians restricted concubinage, and the Ming dynasty stipulated that concubines could only get married at the age of 40 and could not have children.
There are other origins and influences inside and outside.
It is expressly stipulated that "the difference between inside and outside" began in the Western Zhou Dynasty. The Zhou Dynasty wiped out the Shang Dynasty and established the first system civilization ruled by consanguineous aristocrats, including the eldest son inheritance system and the enfeoffment system, which was called "Zhou Gong Li" in history. The distribution and inheritance of power need to determine the marriage and family system with aristocratic children as the organizational guarantee, divide the division of labor between men and women to exclude women from participating in political and military activities (while in Shang Dynasty, there were records of wives and daughters of kings, such as Fu Hao, leading troops to fight, presiding over sacrifices and farming), and urging women to return home. There are other systems and customs formed inside and outside men and women.
The difference between inside and outside is not "separation" and "separation", but that men's external space and responsibilities are infinite, open, important and have development potential, while women's internal space is limited, closed, circular and degraded. Marriage and family are also internal (male) and external (female). Men are masters and women are followers. "Being different inside and outside" has become the basis of a series of rules and regulations, such as maintaining paternalism and determining women's "three obedience and four virtues". It is also the basis for men to be superior to women for thousands of years and the foundation for its continuation.
Definition, Origin and Development of "Three Obediences and Four Virtues"
"Three Obediences and Four Virtues" is a normative requirement put forward by Confucian ethics for women's morality, behavior and self-cultivation all their lives in order to adapt to the stability of patriarchal clan system and safeguard the interests of patriarchal clan system-in-law (ethnic group), according to the principles of "different inside and outside" and "men are superior to women".
The word "three obedience" first appeared in the Confucian classic "Yili? When discussing the number of years of mourning for a married woman (three years for her husband and one year for her father), The Story of Mourning-Xia Zi said that "women have the meaning of' three obedience' and have no way of' special use', so they don't marry their father, but marry their husband and die". As daughters, wives and mothers, women should obey men. But women have been obedient for a long time, and the word "female" is the image of bending down and kneeling in Oracle Bone Inscriptions in Shang Dynasty (display font); There are hexagrams in the Book of Changes, which advocate that women obey and be single-minded and always serve their husbands. Later, women were asked to be martyred and chaste, and widows were restricted from remarrying.
The word "four virtues" can be found in Zhou Li? Celestial officer? Neizai is the official position of teaching harem women, and is responsible for teaching harem women "lewdness" and "women's duties" step by step. Among them, the "ninth wife" with higher status is "in charge of the law of women's studies, so as to teach nine women to speak, look and be virtuous." It was originally a category of court women's education, and later it was called "three obedience", which became the standard of women's morality, behavior, ability and cultivation, that is, "three obedience and four virtues"
"Three Obediences" and "Unmarried Obedience"
The morality of "three obedience" has evolved from mourning system to interpersonal domination and obedience, which corresponds to the "three cardinal guides" advocated by the Han Dynasty-"the father is the child's guide" and "the husband is the wife's guide", which is extended to the relationship between men and women.
"Obey" has multiple meanings-obey, follow, obey and follow. Women who are required to abide by the morality of "three obedience" cannot be independent, but must act according to their father's orders, their husbands' orders and their sons' wishes, so as to be filial to women, virtuous to their wives and kind to their mothers.
"Obeying the father without marriage" means asking the unmarried "housemaid" to listen to their parents, and "not disobeying their father's orders" means "filial piety" (according to Confucius' explanation, "pro" refers to parents, but also "filial piety"); Daughter filial piety, in addition to taking care of daily life, but also to stand up when her father is in danger. For example, Emperor Wendi of the Western Han Dynasty persuaded Wendi to abolish corporal punishment, and her father was spared from sin. In the Eastern Han Dynasty, Cao E drowned to save his father from drowning (there is a "Cao E Monument" in history to commend Cao E's filial piety). Obeying "parents' orders" in lifelong marriage is also a manifestation of "obedience" and filial piety.
"Married and married again"
"Marrying a husband" means asking a married woman to be a wife and follow, obey and follow her husband. "Being a husband" begins with a woman's marriage, and the ceremony of marriage is "handsome men and beautiful women, women follow men, and the meaning of husband and wife begins from now on"; The mother told her daughter that "it doesn't violate the master." When you go to your husband's family, you get kinship terms (such as daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt, sister-in-law, etc. ) according to your husband's seniority and age. The wife regards her husband as "heaven", "destiny cannot escape, and husband's life cannot be violated". She must obey and respect her husband, who will sing with her. For example, Wan (Sound Bowl) given to her husband by Meng Guang in the Han Dynasty was praised as "being polite". Wives and wives also need to perform filial piety on behalf of their husbands, serve the daily life of their in-laws, and have children for their husbands; Since the Song Dynasty, "nurturing husband and educating children" has become the most important duty of women. "Being a husband" means being loyal to her husband and keeping chastity. After her husband died, she didn't serve him or even become a martyr. In the Spring and Autumn Period, her husband was captured by the State of Chu, and the King of Chu forced her to be his wife. She died unsatisfied and became a model for history books to praise chastity. The official recognition of chastity in past dynasties has become a system, which has led to some women's self-mutilation. Even before her husband was about to die of illness and death, wives and concubines died early to show their loyalty to her husband.
"the husband dies and the son follows"
Among the "three obedience", only "the husband follows the son" is puzzling, because there is a tradition of "respecting the mother and filial piety" in Confucian ethics, and the mother has considerable power over her son. However, the ethical code also stipulates: "A woman should follow her father and brother when she is young, marry her husband, and follow her husband when she dies." (The Book of Rites? "suburban special sacrifice" here means "obeying its laws", which means that everything is decided by the father, husband and son. For the widow of her late husband, "Suizi" is an extension of "Suifu". She not only wants to keep her marriage, but also tries to raise her son, who is the head of the family and is in charge of important things. During the Spring and Autumn Period, a widow in Lu had nine sons. After the sacrifice at the end of the year, she wants to visit her parents' home. According to the etiquette of "the husband dies and the son succeeds", she needs the consent of her sons. After calling her son to get a promise, she asked her nine daughters-in-law to watch the door and said she would come back at night. As a result, I went home before dark, and waited outside the door until it was dark. I was seen by Dr. Lu and praised her for keeping the ceremony. Jiang Ye, the aunt of Confucius, is a model widow. She always acts according to the ceremony. Her husband and son died one after another. She cried early as a husband and late as a son, which was praised by Confucius as "knowing ceremony".
"four virtues"
The "Four Virtues" were originally the cultivation and accomplishment of the four necessary qualities of court women-morality, speech, tolerance and skill, which included the four traditional educational contents of "women's studies", so Confucianism called it "four teachings" and also called "four lines". Originated from the education of women in the court, it belongs to "Yin Li" (the etiquette that women abide by) and "Yin Duty" (the responsibility that women bear), and soon expanded to the upper-class families to undertake the cultivation of women's roles. When the girl was ten years old, she was educated by a female teacher at home-teaching "gentle delivery, obedience" (morality, speech, forbearance, pliancy and obedience), holding hemp (spinning hemp thread, ancient clothes were mostly hemp, ge and silk), treating silkworm cocoons, weaving and making clothes, and learning a series of jobs (work, weaving, sewing and preparation) three months before marriage. After the training is completed, a sacrificial ceremony will be held to make the woman obedient. It can be seen that "four virtues" serve the morality of "three obedience". The "four virtues" were later summarized as requirements for all women. According to Zheng Xuan's explanation, "women's virtue is chastity, women's words are rhetoric, women's capacity is gentle delivery, and women's work is diaosi." Later generations have been making new explanations.
"Women's Virtue"
Women's virtue is the most important one in women's education, and Zheng Xuan's chastity obedience is the core of women's virtue. "Chastity" means sticking to chastity, keeping a clean body and being loyal to her husband. "Shun" means "obedience and obedience" in the Book of Rites, and it is polite to in-laws, husbands and even family members. Ban Zhao, a female educator in the Han Dynasty, especially pointed out in "Women's Virtue" that "women don't have to be unique" (meaning that they don't have to have special talents, which is the original basis of the catchphrase "Women without talents are virtuous" in the Ming Dynasty), and "the method of being quiet, chaste, ashamed and athletic" means having women's virtue. Ban Zhao pays more attention to the cultivation of women's moral quality. By the end of the Qing Dynasty, the standard of "women's morality" was more specific and detailed, and there were detailed norms for women in different situations and roles: as wives, husbands and uncles (in-laws) should be obedient and gentle, and as wives, they should "get rid of jealousy" and help their husbands take concubines; As a mother, you should be able to "teach your son" and "be kind to your stepmother"; When you get along with your family, you should "get along with your uncle and sister (brother-in-law and sister-in-law)" and "get along in harmony". If the family is poor, it must be "poor", rich and frugal. It also includes "respect for the body", "loyalty", "chastity" and "revenge" ... with a series of virtues.
Women's words
The provision of female words in the ethical code was originally for "speaking at home" (articulate women will subvert the country) "The Book of Songs? In "Elegance", after scolding Zhou Youwang, he praised "a woman has a long tongue, and she is the only one" (a gossip is the chief culprit of national subjugation). However, speaking is also a necessary accomplishment and skill. Zheng Xuan's explanation of "women's talk" is "rhetoric", which means being good at coping and speaking appropriately. Ban Zhao thinks that "women's words" don't need to be glib and eloquent, just consider whether the words are appropriate, don't hurt people with ugly words, don't grab words, don't say more, and don't be annoying. If a big family hates women, it will sow discord among family members, and a talkative woman will be punished, which constitutes one of the "seven extinctions". Lan Dingyuan's "Women's Studies" gave concrete and positive guidance to "women's words", saying that "women's words are not expensive, but expensive (appropriate)". Various occasions need different appropriate words, such as encouraging husbands, teaching children, euphemistically advising, being conscientious, showing wisdom, avoiding disasters and so on. Therefore, "women's words" need the cultivation of wisdom and knowledge.
Women's ability
Confucianism has special standards for women's appearance modification. Confucius advocated valuing virtue over color, and asked her husband to be "virtuous and easy to change color" because he valued his wife's character rather than beauty. The requirement for women's appearance is to emphasize simplicity and decoration, while "smelting capacity" is close to "teaching prostitution" (deliberately dressing up is equal to tempting men's temperament desire). Zheng Xuan's explanation of women's appearance is "elegant delivery", which means gentle expression. Ban Zhao believes that women's appearance does not mean beautiful colors, but in daily life, for women's appearance, "washing away dirt, dressing fresh and clean, taking a bath in time, not dirty and not humiliating"-that is, diligent in sweeping the floor, neatly dressed, taking a bath on time and paying attention to hygiene, is in line with women's appearance standards. Lan Dingyuan's requirements for women's appearance focus on the practicality of different occasions, such as "women's appearance should be dignified and respectful, children should be gentle and respectful", "respect for husband", etc., when pregnant, dignified and restrained when mourning, calm and tolerant when avoiding chaos, and die hard when necessary.
Work undertaken by women
The "women workers" in the four virtues of women's studies refer to the labor and work that women are engaged in. The gender division of labor is that the male is the master and the female is the master, so the standard of "female worker" has not changed much for thousands of years-picking mulberry and sericulture, spinning and weaving, feeding and preparing wine pulp in the process of doing business; I have to support my in-laws and husband, have children and entertain guests; There is also the important work of preparing sacrificial supplies and assisting sacrificial ceremonies. Ban Zhao believes that "women's work does not need skills" and "it is not funny to concentrate on spinning performance; Eating and drinking to entertain guests is called a woman's job. " However, for family needs, smart wives have always been praised, while "lazy" and "stupid" women are the objects of condemnation and ridicule. Lan Dingyuan also divided the order and purpose, saying, "Women workers should weave silkworms first and then feed them; In fact, women's contribution to women is not only an important guarantee for family continuity, but also an important source of national tax revenue in past dynasties. In ancient times, there was an idiom "A woman who doesn't cultivate the world is hungry, and a woman who doesn't weave the world is cold". This idiom came from Han Shu? "Food Record" pointed out that women work during the day and collect at night, which is equivalent to 45 working days per month, which is harder than men.
Overview of "Three Obediences and Four Virtues"
With regard to "three obedience and four virtues", we should first see that these requirements and norms for women came into being in a specific era, out of a certain need, and also changed with the changes of society. After the establishment of patriarchal marriage and family in the Zhou Dynasty and the clear boundaries between men and women, there appeared a moral code of "three obedience" that required women to obey their fathers, husbands and children, that is, the female role in the family was subordinate to men. "Four virtues" are the etiquette, manners and operational skills that women must have to practice the moral goal of "three obedience", that is, women should be obedient and capable. The "virtue" of traditional women under the influence of Confucian culture is gradually disciplined through the interaction of "three obedience" morality, "four virtue" cultivation and "seven out" rules and regulations. With the passage of time, the control of male power over women has gradually given way to that of the husband, whose interests are higher than that of the father's, who emphasizes obedience, silence and sacrifice to women, and the rules and regulations are more detailed and complicated, and women pay more for it. But it should also be noted that "three obedience and four virtues" is full of contradictions under the overall cultural framework of Confucianism. For example, when emphasizing "obedience from the father", we should also obey the mother; It is emphasized that as a husband, a wife is also "equal to her husband." Especially the promotion of "filial piety culture", the filial piety of sons to their mothers, especially widowed mothers, is unique in China. As for the "four virtues", if we can change into new content of the times today (for example, "virtue" focuses on civility and politeness, "speech" and "merit" focus on the cultivation of talent and creativity, and "capacity" focuses on proper decoration without deliberate makeup and beauty, etc. ), we can also learn from it.
Modern three obedience and four virtues = = = = = = = = Girlfriend's three obedience and four virtues = = = = = = = = = = =
Boyfriends should listen to their words and deeds.
Boyfriends are ignorant and should follow blindly.
Boyfriend's idea should be obeyed.
Boyfriend's amorous feelings should be tolerant.
Boyfriend's thin thread will be "rewarded"
Boyfriend should remember to "get" if he becomes suspicious.
Boyfriend is stingy and wants to "get"
= = = = = = = = Men's three obedience and four virtues = = = = = = = = = = =
Girlfriend goes out with Cong.
Girlfriend ordered obedience.
When a girlfriend says something wrong, she will blindly "follow"
Girlfriend has to wait for makeup.
Girlfriend wants to give up money.
When a girlfriend is angry, she must endure "getting hurt".
Remember "Germany" on your girlfriend's birthday.
Version 2: Men's Three Obediences and Four Virtues
What is "Three Obediences"? It means "obey, listen and follow"; What are the four virtues? Remember your birthday, know your mind, be willing to spend money and endure being beaten.